The Doctor: The life, loss and love of Carlisle Cullen
by TeamCarlisle
Summary: The life story of Carlisle Cullen (beginning in 1663, London). This tells a story of how he became a vampire, his struggles through life, his choices to live off animals, his stay with the Volturi, his move to America, meeting and changing Edward, falling in love with Esme, starting the Cullen family later with Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper... Goes until Bella arrives in Forks
1. Prelude

**Prelude**

_1663 London_

Hustling footsteps scraped over the wet streets of a dreary London night. The moon, just a crescent in the sky, fell victim to the clouds that accompanied an eerie fog over the city's midnight hour. Small collections of torch light provided the only illumination, as crowds made their way through the night in search of what their imaginations dreamed up.

"Kill them all!" an abstract voice called from the shelter of some back alleyway. The words were cold and determined that stung highly of fear and apathy.

The proud city had fallen victim to violence and a desperate dismay of the unknown. It was hard to tell the difference between the victims and the perpetrators anymore. Regardless of status, or being, there was one word that rung through the air with a constant repetition more powerful than church prayers. _Kill_.

Carlisle held his torch before him in the darkness. A small group of adamant followers of his father stood beside him in similar stances. They obeyed every command he had given, though he never demanded, nor expected their loyalty. Unlike him, the men were closed-minded and brutal. They were seekers of evil and found it in places it didn't exist.

"This is where you saw them?" a man's voice asked with a willing, ready enthusiasm. He turned to face Carlisle.

The flames that danced along their faces, creating dark shadows seemed far more than fitting for the occasion. It gave the men a Hellish appearance, and that was exactly what London had become. Hell on earth, ironically lead by a pastor and his son.

"I'm certain," Carlisle answered, knowing full well that this time they were, indeed, hunting monsters that preyed on human flesh. He shined his light on the sewer that lingered only a few yards from their feet, "I've witnessed them come in and out of here. They're unlike anything I've seen; remarkably fast and relentless."

"How many of them are there?" another man asked.

"I can't give you an accurate number," Carlisle went on, "But they're here." He looked around the fog-ridden skies and the darkness that lingered above them. "They'll surface before dawn. I'm almost certain, and if not tonight, then we'll return tomorrow."

"There will be bloodshed tonight," an enthusiast cried from the back of the group, "Come out you bastards! You're cowards! You're all cowardly! Let's see you face a pack of real men!"

Carlisle glanced over his shoulder at the rowdy antagonist. He couldn't help but frown at what the men beside him had become. They were no better than the monsters living in the sewers, and perhaps more cowardly. The number of innocent people put to the death in the name of fear and the unknown was anything but deserving of merit. It was wrong; evil.

The men continue to shout profanities and taunt whatever lurked in the hole in the ground. Their words stung with sin, hate and judgment. It wasn't until a torch was launched into the pit that their group got an overwhelming, demonizing surprise.

A low growl rippled through the underground London street where their self-proclaiming righteous mob stood. It was an ungodly sound that accompanied the fiery, glowing pit that resembled a world for the damned.

Silence fell over the crowd, and Carlisle took a step back, though reached his arm out as far as it could go to continue shedding light over the sewer. A few men behind him raised their clubs and homemade spears; though let their heels scrape against the sand on the road as they subconsciously shuffled backward.

For a moment, the only sound in the midnight, London air was that of the huffing, anxious breaths of the mob as they waited. Up until that night, their jobs had been easy. The most evil of the men found pleasure in putting humans to death with accusatory claims that they were demonized, or products of the devil. Their motivation was power, not justice. What they were facing now was a being far superior to their fragile, human flesh.

"Come out!" a man called. His voice was still hard and he stepped up beside Carlisle, drawing his weapon. An instant later the arrogant sadist was pinned on his back with a savage far greater on top of him.

Screams filled the air, and blood lined the street, before the human brain had time to process the series of events that had taken place.

In a matter milliseconds, a man had gone from being a demanding, live force to a food supply for the creature that was currently draining him of his blood in the most ferocious of ways.

Carlisle couldn't take his eyes off of what was happening. Although he was the one to discover the clan in the sewers, he could not believe what he was seeing. The attacker looked fundamentally human, but he very obviously wasn't. His eyes were red; he moved at rates unable to track with the naked eye and struck with the reflexes of a lion.

The group, finally drawn out of their initial shock, split into two. Half of the men ran, fearing for their lives as the true cowards they were. Others stayed and attempted to attack the savage, all unsuccessful in their efforts.

Whether in groups of two, three or solo, the counter attackers were knocked viciously to the side with sickening cracks as their bones broke from the force of their landings. These men were the lucky ones.

The savage rose from his crouched position, bare-chested and in a pair of ragged pants and no shoes. His hair was as wild as his eyes and he bared his teeth. Blood ran from his mouth and clung to his torso and limbs.

Carlisle stood face to face with the creature, bewildered by its abilities. His mouth hung open and he thought, surely, he would meet his maker sooner than planned.

Without warning, the vampire lunged, puncturing Carlisle's skin with his teeth. He snarled and growled as the torch fell from Carlisle's hand in the process.

"You demon!" a voice called from above.

Carlisle's eyes opened partway from the tightly closed position they'd been in during the attack. He saw the immortal's attention being drifted elsewhere and so he took the opportunity to try to escape, looking back as one of the mob members was taken to the ground.

More high pitched screams rung through the night air and bounced off the stone walls around them as Carlisle ran desperately for shelter, gripped the place he was bitten with his hand.

The pain had sunk in the moment the venom was first introduced to his veins. It was an excruciating feeling and had begun to feel paralyzing.

Carlisle stumbled into an unlocked building. He had no idea if it was abandoned or not. In the moment, he couldn't contemplate the consequences of entering. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had been bitten, which meant he could let no one know of his whereabouts. Shelter was his only savior and so he took refuge in the first secure place he could find, burying himself under a batch of old food and potatoes.

The room was dark and vacant, aside from a few boxes. It smelled musty, like a combination of mold and garbage. Compared to the pain that was beginning to take over his entire body, it could have been lavender, or the smell of freshly picked apples.

His fists clenched and he lifted his head, wanting to cry out from the intense burning that almost lead him to believe he was actually on fire. Carlisle looked down at the tensed up veins in his arms and balled his hands into tight fists. He hissed through his teeth and clenched his jaw to remain quiet as his human life drained completely from his body.


	2. Reborn

**I'm still in the midst of my story Shadows of Midnight, but I got inspired for some reason to write this story. I'm not finished, but I have written over 100 pages (last week of summer vacay before I go back to work). I really hope you all enjoy this, whoever gets a chance to read. Thanks for checking it out and any reviews would help me as a writer. Thanks!**

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_"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." _  
_-Fulton Oursler_

**Chapter 1**

Carlisle remained in the abandoned cellar for days. The pain he'd felt died down and he looked again at the surroundings that had become all too familiar to him. In the darkness, now, he could see every crevice and niche engraved on the walls. Particles in the air hung before him as if they were on strings. The scent of the rotten potatoes was heightened severely and his body felt completely different.

He reached for the area where he'd been bitten, tracing his pointer and middle fingers over the mark. His eyes closed in a sense of defeat, hoping what he had experienced would have been nothing more than a nightmare. He was wrong. This was reality now.

Carlisle stood up from where he had been laying since the transformation process. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't breathing, and it quickly registered that he didn't have to. The fact made him shudder and the self-loathing process began.

He held his palms out in front of him and studied himself. There was nothing human about him anymore. He felt new and reborn, though not in the way he had hoped from what he learned through religion. Carlisle knew there was nothing sacred or hopeful about what had happened to him.

The door he had closed that in and out of the room stood between him and what he would make of his destiny. Something waited for him outside that door, though he wasn't sure what. The world had suddenly become an even scarier place.

Carlisle swallowed hard and pushed it open, sending the door forcefully into the wall it slammed against. He looked down at his hands again and out of curiosity purposes, took a full swing toward the stone wall to his left.

The rock structure crumbled beneath his fist, leaving a hole in the solid wall where he connected. His mouth hung open and it was that moment when he first recognized something more powerful than his new flesh and bone. It lingered in his throat and sucked the life out of his soul. It was a burning far more intense than the transformation, or so he thought. It clawed at him, made his body suddenly ache and begged him to give in to its power.

Thirst. That is exactly what Carlisle was feeling. He didn't need an instruction manual to know what he had to do to satisfy the new, overwhelming urge. His mind and body were programmed to know how to get rid of the painful, almost lusting feeling that threatened to break his strong will.

Carlisle looked into the cellar again, though knew he had to remove himself his sanctuary eventually. The door had been opened and he'd have to walk out, praying for the sake of all humans that it would be night, and not daylight hours where everyone would surely be out on their daily routines.

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, trying desperately not to breath in the world around him. His feet traced the basement floor slowly before he edged his way up the stairs, one foot at a time. From the way his fist destroyed the wall, he feared crushing the stone beneath him, though when this didn't happen, his confidence surfaced for the first time in days and he rose to the streets of London.

One stroke of luck occurred, and it that fell in the form of the earth's rotation. Night was upon the city, leaving no one in immediate sight. The lingering scent of blood from the attacks, though nights ago, stung Carlisle's nostrils. He clenched his fists and jaw before deciding he had to leave before the sun came up. It would be the only way to avoid doing, what he feared was the inevitable.

Without knowing which way to go, Carlisle let his legs guide him, as he used the one thing he'd taken from the transformation to his advantage; speed.

For miles he ran, putting the city behind him in seconds. He felt relieved upon stumbling upon a heavily wooded area and then a thought passed through him. He needed to sacrifice himself for the better of the human people.

_It's the only way_, he thought to himself.

Carlisle knew the potential consequences of killing himself, in terms of the afterlife, though he hoped that somewhere along the line, God would forgive him and realize he took his course of action to save a countless number of valuable human lives.

He finally took a moment to take in a deep breath of the night air, sending waves of hate for himself through his body again. It wasn't air going through _his_ nose, or air going into _his_ lungs. It was the creature's body now, and he knew he had to destroy it.

Carlisle changed his course, remembering a large body of water that wasn't far from one of the local factories. He'd gone swimming there as a teenager and felt as though drowning himself could be a great alternative to killing an entire town.

He was confident now and rationalized the decision as he traveled through the trees. There was nothing left to live for, and even less to lose. His father surely thought he was dead. He hadn't married and had no other siblings after his mother had died giving birth to him.

Despite his father's radical behavior, Carlisle felt a wave of sadness pass through him. His father would have no one now. He would die alone, a man of his own demise. The thought pained him dearly, though knew quite equally that his father would never accept him as the demon he'd become.

Rational thoughts passed back through him to overtake his emotional lapse and he realized there was nothing left to do regarding that situation.

The pond was his only hope now. He just prayed silently in his mind that he would not stumble on a human first. That would be a great tragedy and for a murderous action, he would surely go to Hell.

Carlisle stood face to face with an area that had provided him a head full of happy, childhood memories. The pond represented all things that were good, innocent. As a child, he hadn't had a care in the world, aside from going to church, school or completing chores.

He suddenly vividly remembered fishing and swimming with other kids of his age at the time. His eyes shifted downward to a small clearing where a tall, now rotted tree overhung the water. A smile spread over his face as he recalled gaining the courage to climb it to the highest branch before letting gravity run its course as it pulled his body beneath the surface.

The smile faded and he was left in the present time. He had come here for other reasons, hoping to never resurface as he had during his playful times as a child. Like his father, Carlisle was content that he, too, would die a lonely death. Selfishly, or so he thought, he hoped it would be over rather quickly, and silently asked that his suffering be made minimal.

Carlisle walked slowly to the edge of the water and walked until he disappeared beneath the surface. He saw a few feet until he was not touching the bottom of the pond anymore and waited.

The initial thought he had as the water touched his skin was that it didn't feel hot or cold. It was a sort of neutral, calming feeling that he actually enjoyed. His thought began to snowball and he began to think of the weather, and the moisture in the air, and the fact that he could see every dust particle that had swirled about.

His eyes flickered open and he peered through the murky, black world he'd placed himself into. Again, he saw everything through the dirt and the muck that blended to make the pond an underwater dust pit. What Carlisle didn't get from the current experience, was the sensation of choking or the discomfort that went along with not being able to breath. He felt none of that; only the lingering feeling of thirst that burned in his throat.

_Of course_, he thought,_ I don't have to breathe. I'll find another method._

Carlisle cruised through the water and untraceable speeds before he hurried up the highest tree he could find. He continued to be amazed by his own agility and superior abilities, though he began to refocus on the task at him.

Looking down at the world now, he could see each individual leaf of the ground that hung more than one hundred feet below him. He closed his eyes and looked toward the sky as rain began to fall lightly.

"Forgive me," he said aloud, opening his eyes once to speak with God more intimately for a moment. He swallowed hard and without another thought, he leapt from where he stood.

The world around him was as much of a blur as it had been during his run to the pond. In the several seconds it took for him to hit the ground, Carlisle took in every leaf, every branch and the rest of nature's gifts in between. He felt a wave of guilt pass through him for his actions, though as his eyes looked at the approaching forest floor below him, he knew it was the right thing to do.

Darkness was beginning to feel like a pattern; that and surprises. Carlisle laid face down on the ground next to the tree he had just jumped out of in his suicide attempt. He rolled onto his back and looked toward the top with a bewildered expression.

He ran his hands along his torso and recognized immediately that he was still in one piece.

_This isn't fair_, he thought to himself. He looked around his surroundings feeling stripped of his abilities to make his own choices.

"This is my choice!" he bellowed into the darkness, "My choice!"

Carlisle took a deep breath and looked around, sensing the tranquility that hung in the woods. Nothing stirred or moved. He sat down on the ground with his back against the tree and felt defeated. Never in his life had he ever felt so frustrated, or so not in control of his own actions.

As a human man, he couldn't remember a time where he felt like he could cry. Now, that's all he wanted to do, though as quickly as he had discovered everything, he realized that tears were not an option.

He took a rock that sat next to him and tossed it as hard as he could into the pond, feeling even more like a monster as dry sobs left his mouth.

_I can't even cry_, he thought to himself, _I really am a monster._

Carlisle sat alone in the dark until the first rays of sunshine cast a light gray shadow over the sky. He didn't know if people regularly visited the pond, as they had in the past and so he left the only place of innocence that was traceable to his past.

He didn't know where he would go, but it would be far away from where he could harm a human being. Even if it meant a life of eternal loneliness, he would have to endure it. Best case scenario, from what he could gather, would be starvation


	3. Discovery

**Chapter 2**

Pain. Everything revolved around pain. The word itself felt like a thousand daggers to the heart; mental pain; physical pain; agony; anguish. This is how Carlisle summed up his new life. Months had passed and he hadn't fed, not once. From the intensity of the burning in his throat, he hoped it was the beginning of the end and that starvation would be his way out of the demonized life he'd been forced into.

He laid at the mercy of the thirst on his back before thinking the most heinous of thoughts. Fantasies played in his mind about ripping through someone's throat with his teeth, feeling the taste of what he craved dance on his tongue before sinking into his veins.

Carlisle traced over his teeth with his tongue beneath his lips as the thought of quenching his thirst began to get the better of him. He wished, so badly, that he could sleep to make the feeling go away for just a short while. This was another new characteristic that worked against him.

_No,_ he thought to himself. He shook his head and pulled on his hair. _Stay in control of yourself_, he pleaded with himself in his thoughts.

The monster began to take over and a single sentence crossed his mind, which made him hate himself even more. _I wish someone would walk by right now._

He shuddered, knowing how lustfully real the thought was. He needed blood and he was unsure of how much longer he could restrain himself from walking into town and giving in to the monster.

Carlisle sat back down and began to tap his hand against the ground in a sort of nervous tick. He inhaled a deep breath of the night air, and that was when the scent hit him. It was blood; close by, but nothing like that he had smelled in the streets of London.

He crouched, stalking the smell with his pronounced animal senses and found a family of deer basking in the moonlight. From where he currently stood, they were unaware of his presence. For the first time, Carlisle felt his primal instincts take over.

A growl barreled through his chest as he continued to close in on the deer. He crouched again, this time lunging forward, sending the animals into a wave of panic and terror. They scattered, running off through a small meadow, though not before Carlisle was able to wrap his arms around one and wrestle it to the ground.

He sunk his teeth into the deer's skin, tasting the rich, enticing flavor as it poured into his mouth and all over the front of his clothes. At the same time, the smell hit his nostrils, causing him to feed off the animal without mercy. He drank and drank until he completely drained his source of food, gasping for air to get away from the overwhelming sensation that accompanied the hunt.

For a half hour or more he sat there by the carcass until the high feeling of feeding began to diminish. He did his best to clean himself of the mess he'd made before returning to logical state of mind.

The deer was dead. Carlisle's thirst was quenched. No humans were harmed. He looked again the lifeless eyes of the large buck that laid beside him. Just as he was about to feel some guilt for killing the creature, he thought about the countless number of times he'd fed on animals as a human. Sure, it was in a different form; it was cooked. The moral aspect, however, was no different.

Carlisle looked across the open field and took in the course of actions that had just occurred. He rested his head on the grass and laughed, almost madly, to himself. He ran both of his hands down his face and smiled as he looked at the dead deer again.

"You came just in time, my friend," he said, feeling a little insane what he was speaking with.

The months on his own in the lonely shadow of civilization had taken its toll on him, and he desperately wanted to get back to interacting with people again. There was still that part of him, however, that didn't trust. He knew he would have to perfect his thirst quenching methods before he darted out into the public eye.

Hope was something that suddenly lit a fire beneath him. It was hope that he had felt for the first time since becoming a vampire. He knew well enough that he could train himself to show restraint when it came to human blood. Since he was coming to the realization that he could not die, at least not by conventional methods, Carlisle figured that he had at least time on his side.

Over the next several weeks, Carlisle got used to his body. He practiced hunting different types of wildlife, leapt from tree to tree, swam, ran and did everything he could think of to test as being physically possible. The fun part was, he hadn't failed once.

To pass some of the daylight hours, he would try to break his own records, seeing how far he could jump from a standing position, with a running start, and so on. He also became accustomed to the idea that his skin seemed to shimmer when the sun was out. He learned this testing another way to kill himself, which ended up being a myth, like most things. It wasn't long before he realized that sunlight was not an active ingredient in killing a vampire.

Patient as he had ever been, Carlisle waited another couple of months before deciding to take the plunge and edge himself closer to society. He knew where the little towns were in the area, and before he made the jump to the busy city, he prowled around the closest town to where he was currently residing.

Carlisle took in a long deep breath and hunted down as many deer as he could get his hands on, diminishing the thirst to almost nothing. The fact that it still burned in the depths of his throat still worried him, though he told himself that at the first urge to attack, he would retreat to his place in the woods.

He took the journey quite literally step by step, and chose to go at a human pace as he closed in and sensed human action.

A deep burning returned to the back of his throat, though the urge to kill was absent. He could handle the physical pain, as he'd enduring several months of torture and agony over it. This was what he told himself over and over as the conversations of a couple of local fisherman became clear.

Carlisle felt a small wave of relief wash over his body. He was thankful there were no women or children nearby for his first test. As horrible as it would be to kill the grown men, he knew there would be no way he could live with himself for killing a woman or child.

His thoughts refocused to a more positive angle. The men were close and he could practically see the blood pumping through their veins. From a distance, he could see them chatting in a carefree, easy going fashion. They shared a bottle of whiskey and waded in the shallowest part of the water.

_You won't hurt them_, he told himself. The thought repeated in his mind until he became closer than what was comfortable.

Carlisle retreated immediately, though stopped when the men were still in view. He turned and looked over his shoulder, now more determined to overcome the beast that lived inside of him. He didn't want to run forever. He knew he could endure the feeling and overcome the obstacles. It would be a challenge, but he knew turning away now would not benefit him in any way.

"I think you've got one Marty," a bearded, burly man said to his tall, scrawny friend. The pole he wrestled with bent severely and he began to draw the fish in.

The two of them hooted and hollered as the man named Marty sealed the fish's fate and gave his friend a high five.

"There's our dinner," the burly man told him before taking a long swig of the whiskey bottle that lingered in his hand.

Carlisle thought of the irony in the situation. _There's our dinner_, he thought to himself. _If only the men knew that they, too, were part of a similar food chain._

He remained close by, testing how long he could stand the scent of their blood, before deciding not to push it on his first try. When he arrived back at the grounds he'd been calling home, he felt satisfied and accomplished. He had passed his first true test in regards to being in close quarters with humans.

He let a grin linger on his face as he traveled barefoot across the field where he'd made a habit of hunting deer. When night closed in, he laid by himself, glancing up at the starry sky and, like before, felt a twinge of hope that he could make this new life work for him.

Over the course of several weeks, Carlisle continued to challenge himself, setting new boundaries each time. He found it easier and easier to lay low at a safe distance, within less than fifty yards of humans.

There was one family in particular he chose to linger around due to the private nature of their home. It was only during nightfall that he would make his way just beyond the line of the woods to continue breathing in the scent of human blood on a regular basis.

Night by night, the restraint in him strengthened. Carlisle trained himself to block out the scent that he once wanted so badly. He got to a point where he felt he no longer needed the aid of the family, and silently thanked him for their unknown assistance in his process to regain his humanity. It was with much regret that he found a time that their home was vacant to steal a few sets of clothing from the closet of the eldest son, whom he presumed to be of about nineteen or twenty. The clothes fit quite perfectly, and he finally felt fit to regain his connection with society.

He sighed and ultimately remembered the eyes of the creature that bit him. The eyes; they were blood red and harder than the stone that fortressed his body. They were inhumane and demon-like. There was nothing human about the creature's eyes.

Carlisle looked down at his dapper attire and hesitated, glancing over at the status symbol that hung in the family's bathroom. A mirror; never had he been so afraid of a mirror. In all of his months and days alone, not once had he been given the opportunity to see his reflection. He realized now that he preferred it that way. Carlisle did not want to look into that mirror and see the devil's eyes staring back at him.

He took in a deep breath, inhaling the scents of all the humans who inhabited the house. He knew he had to look in order to make the next step in his journey. He had to come face to face with what he was.

The family would be home soon. He was certain of that from their routines. The opportunity at hand may very well be his last chance to observe his new face; his new eyes. He knew for certain that the deep, ocean blues that once swelled around his pupils had died out along with his human body.

"Just look," he whispered to himself.

The silence that clung to the walls of the home taunted him like a thousand horns blowing in his ears. It seemed to enjoy his agony, his self-hatred, his loathing of the beast he'd become. It was the silence that egged him on just enough to guide his heavy feet toward the wash room.

Carlisle bowed his head, standing before the mirror. He was not yet ready to look, though he knew there would never come a day where he truly would be. That moment would be no different than the next; only sooner, which from a logical stand point would lead him to the next step of a solution to his current life altering predicament.

_Coward,_ he thought to himself, _coward, coward, coward!_

He raised his head, meeting his own stare in the mirror. His own eyes burned back at him and he felt something he had not anticipated; relief.

Carlisle leaned forward and studied his features. His eyes were far from what he remembered seeing as he was being attacked. They were a deep golden mixed with amber. His face looked like statues he'd seen being created by the best of artists. The tiny scar he'd had just below his eye had disappeared.

He felt as though he looked strong and well rested. The bags that sometimes clung to the area below his eyes from long work days had all but faded. His jaw was perfectly carved and he suddenly came to appreciate the perfectness of the rest of his body.

He stepped back from the mirror and glanced at himself from a further distance. There were no flaws. He would surely be able to tell if there were. He saw them in every aspect of God's green earth from his superior eyesight.

Carlisle looked around the prestigious home for a moment before he took in the likes of himself a final time. He stared himself in the eye and a wave of contentment washed over him. He felt like he could fit in. He could make the leap and walk back into society.

A thought crossed his mind and firmly held its place there, tugging aggressively at his heart strings. There was one place he wanted to go; he needed to go. Carlisle needed to see his father.


	4. Closure

**The format got a little weird on me here for some reason. Sorry :)**

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_"The ghosts the we knew will flicker from view and we'll live a long life." - Mumford & Sons_

**Chapter 3**

The burning was outrageous. It was controlling and manipulative. Carlisle knew what he should to do, but the burning pulled him in the opposite direction. It led him to the top of a tree that overlooked his former home.

The burning, however, was not in his throat, but in his chest. It was the love he had for his father that burned inside of him and lead him strait to where he knew he could never truly go again.

A man struggled to chop a piece of firewood. His hands were tired and old, matching his body and the hair he so messily let go in all directions. Only a small pile of wood sat to the left of the chopping station.

Carlisle looked at his father. He knew he could chop him an entire forest of wood in a matter of minutes, or less. He wanted to help him. He wanted to spring from his hidden position and present himself; let his father know that he was alright and that he had beat the monster.

It pained him dearly to watch the old man, looking frail as ever and more tired than how he had remembered. His physical struggles could end if Carlisle could just reveal himself.

_Purgatory_, Carlisle thought,_ this had to be some form of purgatory._

His father was so close, yet so far. There was nothing he could do to help him. Revealing himself would potentially cause his father more pain than believing he had died in the streets. He knew there was no way an active pastor, with all of his beliefs, could accept him as the immortal he'd become.

The axe swung and connected over and over. Wood split into pieces and was added to pile that grew little by little over the course of fifteen to twenty minutes.

Each time the axe seemed to get heavier. Carlisle watched his father's arms shake and almost lost his will power to remain hidden. He felt it was his duty to help his aging father perform such a task.

Thankfully, he stopped and rested on the handle of the tool, letting the blade rest on the ground. He breathed heavily and sighed before setting the axe onto a remaining stump.

He removed a handkerchief from his pocket and slowly wiped his forehead before taking a few logs under his arm and heading inside.

Carlisle closed in on the house and peered in through the window. Night was creeping in and he concluded that his father would most likely be in for the night, if his past was any indication of his present routines.

He made his way over toward his old bedroom and quickly realized that everything had remained exactly like he'd left it. Not a thing had been altered or changed in any way, aside from a single, small cross that sat directly in the middle of his bed.

Carlisle bowed his head and sunk away from the window, sliding his back down the side of his house before sitting on the ground with his back against it.

He let his head rest against the siding and he put his hands over his face. Inside, he heard his father mumbling to himself before shuffling around the living room slowly.

_Yes,_ he decided,_ this had to be purgatory._

Carlisle wanted to stay there forever. He wanted to protect his father from the real danger that was out there. He wanted to provide for him and be the unstoppable work horse so he would never have to swing another axe in his weakened condition.

Most of all, he wanted to show him that he was alive and that he had overcome the demons and the monsters. He had won the battle. He was not evil. He was not a killer.

He closed his eyes and put his hands over his face, secretly hoping that his father would walk around the corner and catch him sitting there. It would take the responsibility off of him and keep him from having to make the most difficult decision of his life.

Slowly, he removed his hands from his face, and for a moment he thought he saw him standing there out of the corner of his eye, though the mirage was quickly dismissed and all that lingered around him were trees and emptiness.

A very distinct, yet unfamiliar sound caught his attention. He let his previous thoughts exit his mind as quickly as they'd arrived. He turned around partway and listened.

Never in his life had Carlisle seen his father cry, though he swore he heard a quiet sobbing sound from inside the house.

He rose to his feet slowly and made his way so he could see into the darkened room where his father sat in an old rocking chair.

Carlisle raised his eyes just above the ledge of the window, standing directly at his father's back.

He was wrapped in a wool blanket and his shoulders heaved up and down. A bottle of liquor sat at his feet and the fireplace sat cold and dormant.

Sobs echoed off the walls of the bare room that reeked of loneliness and heartache.

Carlisle felt his chest tighten. His stomach twisted, stinging him with discomfort. The sight of his father's lament was too much for him to bear, and so he fled; fled the yard, fled the town, fled his old life.

There was nothing that could have pained him more. He wished he had never gone to see him, at least not on that evening. For twenty-three years he had lived without seeing the man shed a tear. It was far more impacting than seeing the glowing, red eyes of the beast for the first time.

Carlisle continued to run. He didn't care where he ended up, as long as it wasn't his home town.

His legs never got tired. He needed no air in his lungs. He could just run freely, and that's exactly what he did.

It felt like days before he stopped, though he knew that was impossible. The sun had yet to rise and he remained shackled by the endless night.

_Never again_, he thought,_ never again._

Carlisle switched roles and let his brain regain control of his feet. He commanded them to stop, and as they skidded along the untraveled path, he glanced around him.

There was a town close by, he was certain of that, for the scent of human blood was within a breath's reach, though it was not overwhelming.

He gathered his thoughts and wanted desperately to feel rational and in control again. The sight of his father had sent him into a frenzy that even he was surprised by. Nothing could have prepared him for that sight.

Now, like in his recent past, he had to concentrate on moving forward. Carlisle needed to get closure, in regards to his father, in his own way. In the days to follow, he would figure out a way to do that. Luckily, time was on his side.

Carlisle made peace with the idea that he would never again come in contact with his father. He kept a close eye on him over the course of several weeks, though he knew it was in both of their best interests if he made no attempts at interaction.

His father, too, needed to come to terms with the fact that his son was gone. Allowing him the knowledge that he had taken the form of a vampire would only break his heart more, regardless of Carlisle's lifestyle decisions.

In the middle of the his final night watching over his only living family member, Carlisle made his way to the pile of wood that consisted of only a few split logs.

He picked up the axe from where his father had placed it earlier in the afternoon and chopped as much wood as he could over the course of five or six solid hours.

His father's snores were his guide. When they stopped, he stopped. When they picked back up, he continued.

The wood pile grew and grew as dawn crept in on the town. Carlisle never tired. He provided as much wood for his father as he could manage through the night until he heard his father's snores stop a final time just as the sun began to rise.

He glanced at his work. Split logs all laid in neat piles, each towering far higher than the roof of the house. It would have taken even the strongest human man months to come up with lumber Carlisle had provided his father with.

He hoped it would help him with his hardships, at least for the time being, and quickly scampered away from the property for the last time, looking over his shoulder and backpedaling until the house was out of sight.

Carlisle's father stirred as early morning light spilled into his room through the open window across from the bed. It provided him a light breeze as he slept, which helped him stay in a deep slumber through the night.

He raised his hands high above his head with a stretch and a yawn, preparing for another day. Each one had become more of a challenge since Carlisle had been taken from him.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed before letting his feet graze across the dusty, wooden floorboards.

A streak of sunlight hit his eyes directly and he squinted, raising a hand to block its intensity. As he did, a clear view of the back yard was within eyeshot.

He nearly stumbled as he climbed all the way out of bed, racing toward the window to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

The back yard was full of wood. Not just any wood, wood that needed no splitting; wood that was ready for his fireplace.

He stared with a great bewilderment, wondering if he'd drunk enough of the whiskey to have blacked out and chopped the wood on his own.

The thought left his mind as quickly as it had entered. He looked upward at the clear blue skies above him.

"How in the world did this happen?" he asked the heavens.

Carlisle's name popped into his head, even before the name of God, Himself. He looked out at the woodpiles again before exiting the house to see how high they actually went.

He looked around the vacant yard for some sign of life and swore he felt his son's presence. Then, his eyes fixed on something that nearly made him drop to his knees.

Whenever Carlisle chopped wood in the yard, he always left the axe positioned neatly across the chopping block, with the blade nearest the house. That was exactly the position it was currently in.

To anyone else, the small detail would have meant nothing, but he knew that the night before he had left the tool as he always did, standing strait up and down with the blade in the grass and the handle leaning on the stump.

He approached the bench and traced his hand along the axe, ending with the blade, before retreating to the house to say his prayers.


	5. New Beginnings

**Chapter 4**

New beginnings arose, and Carlisle Cullen established himself as a new man in a new town. He wandered through the crowded, evening streets, blending it quite easily with the human population.

Every person that passed on his first sidewalk expedition he smiled and gave a polite wave to. Most passer-byers returned the gesture, much to his delight.

Months upon months had passed since Carlisle had been able to interact with another human being. He had, had no conversations of any sort and he was beginning to wonder if his voice even worked anymore. The lack of contact was taking its toll on him.

He was an educated young man and he hoped there was something he could do to contribute that to society. As a human, he had always felt draw to learning new things and the feeling didn't fade as immortality kicked in.

A woman on the arm of her husband passed by, nearly bumping shoulders with Carlisle. Her mouth hung open and she stared at him with an expression that made him self-conscious.

He prayed that his eyes were still the amber color he remembered and not filled with the cold crimson of the sewer-dwelling vampire.

The man she was with gave him a scowl just as the woman's bewildered expression turned into a smile that she flashed in his direction.

Carlisle gave them both a nod and a closed mouth smile, feeling a bit confused for a moment, though from the woman's glowing blush on her cheeks, he quickly realized that she must have thought he was handsome. She gave him a subtle, quick wave before attempting to take her eyes off of him.

He smiled to himself and he felt a bit of flattery. He'd gone on casual dates with women as a human, though no one had given him a look quite like the one the young woman on the street had just given him.

The real victory was that he was fitting in. No one viewed him as what he truly was. They saw him as a person. Now, he just had to figure out what he was going to do to earn a living.

There were a number of universities in Europe that Carlisle encountered on his wandering travels. He made his way into a small library that was affiliated with a college he was interested in.

An older gentleman with a head full of gray hair and a beard sat behind a small counter. He turned as Carlisle walked in and gave him a welcoming, "Hello."

"Hello," Carlisle said. He paused, slightly overwhelmed that he was about to be engaged in a conversation with someone other than a dead deer, or himself.

"What can I help you with?" the man asked politely.

Carlisle looked around the library, "I'm, uh…" His eyes scanned the bookshelves for a moment, "I'm looking for work, and to study. I was hoping you could give me information about how I could do both."

"What are you looking to study?"

"Anything really," he answered, "I have an interest in science and medicine," he paused and then added, "Music, as well."

The man nodded, "There are courses here that are offered for such subjects. The building next door handles all of that."

Carlisle nodded, "Thank you."

"And as for work," the man continued, noticing he was about to head for the door, "I could use someone to straighten up the place, and run errands for me. There are sometimes deliveries to be made, and I've been in much need of having someone close the shop for me at the end of the day. My old lady has been on my case about missing dinner."

Carlisle nodded and gave the man a smile. Closing the shop meant working nights, which aligned perfectly with his need for keeping out of the sunlight. "When could I start?"

"Go enroll in your classes," the man told him, "Then we can set up a work schedule."

"Alright," he agreed, surprised at the man's friendliness, "You said next door?"

The man stood up and pointed, "Just to the left of this building."

Carlisle nodded, "Thank you."

"My pleasure," the man said. He extended a hand and leaned over the countertop, "John Wilcox."

"Carlisle," he returned the handshake, "Carlisle Cullen."

John smiled and turned his attention to a student who was emerging from the stacks with an arm full of books.

Carlisle glanced at the person briefly before heading back out to the street to locate the building for enrollment. As John had stated, he located his destination just a few steps away.

He found the conversation with the university's workers to be just as easy as the one he'd had in the library. They were all friendly and welcoming, with smiles and an eagerness to be of assistance. He returned the amicability with same ease felt accomplished as he returned to the library with classes scheduled for late in the day and evening.

"That was fast," John said as Carlisle returned.

He smiled, "Yeah. There weren't many people in there so I was helped almost right away." He slid the paper with his class schedule written on it.

John squinted and held the paper in front of his face. "These eyes aren't what they used to be," he told him with a laugh.

Carlisle grinned and waited, taking in his surroundings once more. The library was old and dark. Books lined the walls and a few bookcases that decorated the interior of the room. He imagined having the place to himself late at night when it was quiet. He would be able  
to stay up all night and read without a care in the world. The library could be his sanctuary when the rest of the world was asleep.

"When can you start?" John asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh, uh, any time, today, tomorrow. When would you need me?"

"If I go home tonight and tell my wife I'll be home for dinner from now starting tomorrow, she'll be a happy woman."

Carlisle smiled again, "So tomorrow then?"

"It works for me, kid."

"Great," he held his hand out and John shook it, "What time should I come in?"

"Get here for five o'clock. I'll show you the routine and get you situated. It's not an overly hard job."

"Okay," Carlisle agreed, "I'll be here at five tomorrow afternoon, then."

John nodded, "I'll see you then."

"Thank you," he told him a final time before exiting the library.

Carlisle inhaled a deep breath of the night air. It wasn't as refreshing as he'd hoped, as human blood stood out in the mix of everything he'd just taken in. The fact that he found it so easy to ignore, however, pleased him a great deal.

He had barely recognized it in his conversation with John. It was there in the back of his mind, and a few times in the middle of sentences he could feel the burning trying to persuade him, though it was not nearly strong enough to overpower him anymore.

He strolled around the streets of town, entering little shops and maintaining short conversations with strangers. Women continued to stare in his direction, something he knew he would have to get used to.

A coffee shop on the corner caught his attention. These types of shops had recently become quite popular and he knew men of importance sometimes stayed in them for hours arguing and debating over issues with caffeine as their guide to remain upbeat and alert.

Carlisle glanced inside and saw only a few stray customers, all talking quietly, and so he made his way past the coffee shop. He suddenly realized how clear he could hear their quiet whispers, and felt a little guilty for invading their privacy.

He wandered around some more, taking in everything about the new city he intended to call home for a while, before retreating to a more secluded area on the outskirts of the town to remain hidden for the night.

Carlisle longed for a more a structured shelter. He hated dwelling in the woods, and in vacant parks, or under bridges. It was no life for an honest man to live. He needed to find a home, and make it his own.

The library would do would for a while, though once he saved up enough money, he would buy a house for himself.

Although he hadn't tried eating the foods he once he loved, Carlisle knew that none of the money he would earn would have to be spent on fruits, or vegetables or anything of that nature. He didn't need it to survive, and had no desire to sink his teeth into a juicy, ripe apple or pear. There was only one form of hunger he experienced now, and it was that of blood.

Blood was his food source, and if there were no other good things that came from it, at least it free and easily accessible. He would have to contribute none of his earnings to keep himself fed. It would all go toward a more permanent dwelling that did not consist of living in trees.

Carlisle's thoughts drifted back to John's words about his wife. He wondered what was in store for his own future in that regard. Prior to that evening, he hadn't given it much thought, though simply assumed it would happen at some point in his life when the time was right.

Now, he wasn't sure what to make of it. How would he ever find a wife that was compatible to him and his lifestyle? Were there female vampires? Would he be forced to change a human woman into what he was to avoid eternal loneliness? He knew he could never do that to someone.

He was also unsure of how he would age. Would it be the same rate as he had been? Could he die of old age? Would he remain as he was forever? There were and endless list of questions that arose in his mind and he tried to dismiss them, knowing only time would tell him what he wanted to know.

There was one thing that was for certain, and that was he knew he did not want to die a lonely death, as his father surely would. He could not bear the thought of being a fifty year old man a cold, vacant house with no comfort aside from a bottle of whiskey.

If this was his fate, then he would change it. He realized at that moment that he _did_ want a family. He wanted someone the way John had someone. Right now, he would trade anything to be in the old man's shoes who worked at the library. His life seemed happy, or at least content.

Having a wife at home that wanted nothing more than her husband's company, and the warmth that went along with that was something he imagined was irreplaceable.

Carlisle knew, despite his true identity, that he would be a good, loving husband. It hadn't sunk in that the transformation into a vampire may have made that part of his life impossible.

He shook his head, brushing off the thoughts of marriage and family. He hadn't worried about it as a human, why let it bother him as a vampire.

Carlisle let his mind drift back to the good things that had happened to him over the course of that day. He found a job, enrolled in classes at a university and had conversations with people for the first time in his new life. All of it had happened without him getting the slightest urge to kill a human being. It was a successful day, and he hoped things would only get better.


	6. Alistair

**Chapter 5**

Carlisle's level of moral began to climb as he began his studies nightly at the university. The work he put in at the library in between went hand in hand with his progress as a student.

All night he stayed up and read. The information he was able to retain was unbelievable to him. He had considered himself to be intelligent in his human years, mainly due to his interest in certain topics, though the rate he was able to retain information at was as superhuman as his new found strength and speed.

It wasn't long before he had read every single book in the library. The courses he was taking became a reiteration of what he had taught himself in the city's afterhours. When others slept, he learned.

Some books he read over and over again, perfecting his knowledge in the areas of science and medicine. Even the course instructors complimented him on his knowledge and continued to give him advice on a career in the fields. They encouraged him to stick with his education, and suggested that in time he, too, should consider becoming an instructor on such topics.

Carlisle was motivated by their words, and thought it could end up being a career choice of his. It would be possible for him to stay here for his remaining years, teaching the European youth and being a true contributor to society. The unknown, however, lingered in the back of his mind and he realized that it could pan out to be impossible to stay in the town permanently.

Again, he focused on the positives and the immediately future, rather than driving himself crazy over what may or may not be thirty years down the road.

He sat thumbing through a book he had already read cover to cover more than five times. Through the thin pane of glass in one of the library's windows, he saw the full moon staring back at him. The thirst in his throat began to call to him and he closed the book shut before wandering out into the night.

Carlisle wandered casually out of the city before meeting the line of the woods where he could take off, darting through the night like a racehorse. He ran where his senses sent him until he could strike without mercy or reason. It was a survival driven attack, leaving small cluster of deer without their largest member.

He wrestled the buck to the ground, trying to put it out of its misery without causing it to suffer much. Carlisle had come to a point of self-control where he actually considered the feelings of the animal he was feeding off.

"Interesting food choice," a voice called to him.

Carlisle felt his stomach tighten. He whipped his body around to see who had possibly exposed him for the monster he was. The smell of human blood was nonexistent, so he had no idea where the voice was coming from.

_Am I going crazy?_ he wondered, though the thought quickly left his mind as he stared a man sitting on a low hanging tree branch above him with a falcon on his arm.

He stared at the man, knowing immediately that he was not human. His hair was ragged and tossed and his clothing gave him a nomadic appearance. The biggest difference in the two of them was the eye color. The man's eyes were red, though his outward appearance was far less savage than the others of their kind whom he'd come in contact with.

"Who are you?" Carlisle asked, "What are you?"

The man smiled. His lanky legs dangled from the trees and he let them sway. "My name's Alistair. I've been tracking you for some time."

"Tracking me?"

"Yes," he said, "Following you around. I sensed you were nearby, it just took me awhile to actually locate where you were," he gave him an annoyed expression, "You move around so much."

"I, uh, yes, I suppose I do," Carlisle said, confused, "You said you tracked me, though. How?"

"It's just an ability I was reborn with," Alistair told him, "And I don't intend to stay or keep you company. I just sensed there was another one _us_ nearby."

"You were reborn with an ability? Reborn as in born again as a…"

"A vampire," he said, fighting a smile as he did, "And yes. I have this… ability to track things, or people. It just, at times, takes me a little while."

Carlisle wondered if he had some new developed ability that he hadn't discovered. He recognized that it was most likely nothing like this man's ability. He'd had no idea that he was behind him until he spoke.

"Anyway," Alistair said, "I've never seen one us hunt an animal before. Why don't you just go into town? There are many lonely or drunk walkers this time of night. They'll never see you coming."

Carlisle looked around, "I don't particularly agree with the notion of taking a human's life."

Alistair let out a laugh, and then realized he was serious. His smile faded, "You mean to tell me you don't hunt humans?"

"No."

"How long have you been here?"

Carlisle thought for a moment, "In town? Not long."

The irritated look returned to the stranger's face, "I mean how long have you been living as a vampire?"

"Less than a year," Carlisle informed him, "I've never fed on a human."

"Never?"

He shook his head, "No. It's not right. Not for me."

"It's not right." Alistair repeated the statement and shook his head, "You a righteous man?"

Carlisle shrugged and looked around the forest, "How many of them are there?"

"You mean how many of _us_?" he reminded him.

He nodded, "How many?"

"Too many to count."

The thought astonished him. "Do any of them blend in with society?"

"I've never met a human-friendly vampire. We tend to stay in the shadows."

Carlisle hesitated before he began to speak of the way he was beginning to live his life, "I work at the library in town and take classes at the university."

Alistair stared at him with disbelief in his eyes. Carlisle thought for sure the man thought he was lying.

"How do you manage to do that, sir?"

"It's not as difficult as it sounds. I've trained myself not to give in to the desires of human blood. I live off deer and whatever lives out here."

"And the sunlight?" Alistair asked.

"I only work the nights," Carlisle told him, "I stay out here during the day."

"It's night right now."

He nodded, "I spend most nights in the library reading. I just got the urge to hunt. That's why I'm here."

Alistair quickly realized that Carlisle was, indeed, telling the truth. It was a lifestyle he hadn't seen from a member of their kind since his transformation three hundred years earlier.

"How long have you been like this?" Carlisle asked him.

"Three hundred years," he said, "At least. I've stopped counting."

Carlisle's expression must have be as awe-struck as he suspected, for Alistair gave another sinister laugh.

"Don't know much about the lifestyle, yet, I suspect."

"Apparently not," he said, looking around, "Do you change at all? Physically?"

"No," Alistair told him, "But I'm not about to stay here and give you a vampire autobiography, or biography."

"I won't ask you to stay, "Carlisle said.

"Good," he replied, leaping swiftly out of the tree to the ground.

"Do you frequent this area?"

"Not regularly," Alistair told him dryly.

"Well, I'd like to know more. I don't want to be a bother, but it would be helpful. I'd offer you something in return, but I don't know what I could. I don't have much money yet-"

"Money," he laughed, "What would I do with human currency?"

Carlisle thought for a moment and realized the man was right. He lived a completely different lifestyle and didn't appear to mind it. "I can help you harness your thirst. I can help you adapt to live like a human again."

"That's quite alright," Alistair told him, "I have no desire to fit in with the human race. I prefer the silence of the woods and all its tranquility. And the human world is mine at night. I live by my own rules."

"Isn't it lonely?" Carlisle asked him.

"In the best of ways," he said, "Like I said, I prefer it this way."

"Have you ever thought about hunting animals?"

"No," he said looking at the carcass on the ground, "It's not in the least bit appealing to me, and I don't see how it is to you, either."

Carlisle was about to protest but saw the frustration building up in the stranger. He appeared to be content with his decisions, and had made it three hundred years living that way.

"Can we die?" Carlisle asked him.

"I haven't found a way yet." He turned his back to walk away.

"I'm Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen."

"Great to meet you Carlisle," Alistair said with a dry sarcasm. He continued to walk away without looking back.

The following night, Carlisle was sidetracked. He kept thinking of the man from the woods. He was not nearly as unrestrained or vicious as the sewer-dwelling clan, though he was not quite up to Carlisle's level of civility.

The man was, however, the first of his kind that spoke to him. He provided him with a little bit of information regarding their kind and he hoped to learn more.

During his shift at the library, Carlisle wrote down questions for Alistair, and only hoped he would be in the woods again that night. He wasn't overly friendly, though he seemed to at least slightly welcome the company and appeared intrigued at Carlisle's lifestyle and meal choices.

He hoped it would be enough to draw the man back. As much as he loved being back in with the general public, he realized the importance of getting all information about vampires as he possible he could.

"Goodnight Carlisle," John said, tapping the counter in front of him.

"Goodnight," he said back with a smile.

"You know, I've told my wife about you," he said, "She wants to give you a gift for allowing me to spend more time with her." He let out a laugh.

Carlisle grinned, "It's not necessary. You've helped me by hiring me. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for this job."

"Do you have a wife?"

He shook his head, "No."

"Girlfriend?"

"Not at the moment," he told him.

"Well you're young enough," John said, "What are you nineteen, twenty?"

"Twenty-three," Carlisle told him, "I've had to relocate a few times. I'm sure that didn't help."

"I don't mean to pry, but I do have a niece about your age."

He smiled, "Oh yeah?"

"Just a thought," John told him, then smiled again, "I'll leave you to your studies."

"Thank you for the thought," Carlisle said with a laugh.

"I'll tell her to stop in one day."

"Okay." He gave a laugh again.

John tipped his cap and headed out the door.

Carlisle's mind drifted to the idea of a relationship. It was one thing he wanted to ask Alistair about, though he knew enough of him from ten minutes of conversation to tell he was most likely not pro-relationships. He'd already expressed the comfort he took in traveling alone.

A wife was something Carlisle always envisioned coming to him in time. Now, he wasn't sure it was at all possible. There was no way he could keep his true identity from someone he shared a life with, and he would never find it right or just to take a woman's human life away from her just so he wouldn't have to spend the days alone.

_Maybe there are female vampires out there_, he thought,_ there must be._

The thought of a woman preying on humans with bright red eyes and a thrashed about appearance was not particularly appealing.

Carlisle sat pondering the world of possibilities, and for the first time found it potentially interesting to know the history of vampires. He'd been focusing so hard on the human aspect of things that he'd completely put the importance of the other half of him to the side.

He recognized now that he needed to include the 'reborn' half of him, or so Alistair called it. He needed to get every ounce of information possible.

The night seemed to drag, and Carlisle kept a close eye on the clock until his shift concluded. Normally, he'd spend at least another five or six hours in the building before vacating the area, though he was eager to speak with Alistair again.

When he arrived in the forest, he sensed Alistair was nearby. He looked around and didn't see him, though engrained the smell in his mind from the night before.

"Alistair!" he called.

A few seconds went by with no response. Carlisle looked around and called out again.

The sound of rushing wind stung his ears before Alistair was standing before him. He leaned against a large tree and began dusting off his already dirty jacket.

"What?" he asked, speaking as dryly as the night before.

"Hi," Carlisle said, when he appeared.

"Hello." He rolled his eyes.

Carlisle removed a list of questions he'd prepared from his pocket. "I have things I need to ask you."

Alistair took the piece of paper from his hand and read the questions, then handed it back to him roughly, "I'm not going to do any vampire interviews with you, Carlisle. I don't like people remember?"

"I'm not really a person," he said with a laugh.

"It doesn't matter," he said firmly, "You may like this type of conversation, or interaction, but I don't."

Carlisle looked down at the questions and folded the paper back up. He put it in his pocket and looked around, "Very well. I understand."

Alistair rolled his eyes, "Am I supposed to feel bad about not wanting to be put under your microscope?"

"No," he answered, somewhat defensively, "That wasn't my intention. I just don't know a whole lot about this world, that's all."

"Well, you'll work the kinks out, my friend. You run with humans and that's something I've never seen before. I suppose you'll be just fine."

"Can I ask you one thing?"

Alistair nodded once, though still seemed a bit annoyed.

"Where can I find others of our kind?"

"Everywhere. You'll just have to explore. Look around a little; travel. There's a very organized coven in Italy. I've never approached them myself, nor would I," his eyes roamed the tree tops, "I'm not so sure I would begin my journey there, however."

Carlisle nodded, "Well, thank you." He held out his hand.

Alistair returned the gesture, "I'll see you around, Carlisle."

"Where are you going?"

"To grab a midnight snack."

In a single move, Alistair was gone.


	7. Family of All Kinds

**Chapter 6**

Carlisle continued his studies at the university, eventually engaging in a variety of subjects. He was drawn especially to medicine, though there was a little bit of everything that caught his attention.

The relationship he had with John strengthened over the course of the next several years. He continued to work at the library, though knew that he would have to soon move on from the town he'd established himself in.

He'd received honorary marks from the university's professors, and they continued to push him to pursue a career in the education field. Carlisle, however, had other plans for the immediate future. He wanted to expand the knowledge he had of medical sciences and eventually start a career as a doctor.

There was much to still be learned, and he knew it wouldn't necessarily come from where he currently resided. On top of it all, Carlisle knew people would start to wonder why he hadn't aged a bit once a solid decade rolled around. He knew he could probably get away with staying for a few more years, though mentally he was ready to move on.

"So you're leaving us here, huh?" John asked with a smile, tending to some books that were out of place in the ever growing library.

Carlisle shrugged, "I'm thinking of traveling around, maybe experience what it's like in some of the neighboring countries."

John nodded, "You're an adventurous young man to travel so far."

He shrugged, "What do I have to lose? That's how I look at it. I heard there are some great places to study in Italy. I'd like to try pursuing a career in medicine."

"Good for you, Carlisle," John said with a nod, "I'm sure you'll do well for yourself."

"Thank you."

"When do you plan on going?"

"Within a year; maybe when the weather gets warm again."

John laughed, "So, my wife's got me for dinner for another year, then?"

Carlisle laughed with him, "I suppose so."

"You should think about settling down," the old man advised him, "I'm telling you. I understand how enjoyable it is to be free and to roam around as you please. I remember those days as a young man."

Carlisle nodded.

"But once you find a woman who you can love forever," he shrugged, "There's nothing better than that." He noticed Carlisle's expression turn a little more serious, and so he decided to throw in a little humor, "Even when they are a pain in the neck."

The two of them shared another laugh and Carlisle shrugged, letting a smile linger on his face, "I've thought about it. I just, I don't know."

"How many years do you have on you now? Twenty… seven?"

Carlisle had to think for a moment before he answered, "I 'm a bit shy of twenty-nine."

John smiled, "Well you don't look a bit different from how I remember you when you first came in here."

He felt himself tighten up with a bit of anxiety over the comment.

"Well, don't look so spooked," John went on with a grin, "It's not a bad thing. I wish that were the case for me."

"Well, you look the same, too, John," Carlisle told him.

"Sure, sure," he said, "Like and old goat."

Carlisle laughed again and shook his head, "Well, I know it won't be for a little while, and I'll thank you again, but I really appreciate you helping me the way you did. I don't know where I would have ended up if it weren't for this job, and your guidance."

"I don't want to get too personal, and you don't have to answer," John said, "But, do you have any family?"

The thought of his father washed through his mind. It had been awhile since he'd pictured his face, or let the last image he had of him cross through his thoughts.

Carlisle wondered if he was still alive, or if he'd been able to get over the "death" of his son.

"No," he finally answered, shaking his head, "My mother died giving birth to me, and my father passed some years ago, just before I met you."

"No brothers or sisters?"

Carlisle shook his head, "No."

John could see that answering the question had been a burden for the young man before him, "I apologize for bringing up such a sensitive topic."

"It's not all that sensitive," Carlisle told him, "It's just how it is, I suppose. I'm happy now. I've kind of, re-found my way."

John smiled, "Why don't you take the rest of the night off? I can handle it here on my own."

Carlisle shook his head, "No, no. I have no one to get home to. You do. Go be with your wife."

"Go grab a drink or something," John told him.

He smiled, "I'm fine, here. It's kind of my sanctuary. I feel at home here more than anywhere else."

John studied his expression to make sure he wasn't simply trying to be polite.

"Really," Carlisle added with a grin, "Go home. You deserve to."

John reluctantly agreed and the two of them exchanged a few more words before the old man made his way out the door.

Carlisle kept himself occupied, going back through a tall stack of medical books to see if there was any new information he had skimmed past. He was always looking for insight and thought that, even though he'd already read through the books several times, there were surely things he missed, or didn't retain.

Somewhere in the stacks he came across a book with nothing written in it. The pages were blank and there was no title on the cover. He flipped through it several times to make sure it did not belong to anyone before deciding to keep it for himself.

It was then that he decided to keep a log of things he experienced as the days passed. He figured it couldn't hurt, and one day could be useful if he needed to look back.

Two men entered the library and gave a quick wave to Carlisle. He waved back, recognizing them as two students who frequented the building before getting back to his writing.

An hour came and went, and he continued to scribble in some of his experiences over the past six or seven years.

He kept a special section for Alistair, whom he'd only seen sparing since their first two meetings years before.

Despite his friend's longing to remain as a 'lone wolf', or so he called it, he sensed Alistair liked holding conversations with him in small doses; though after just a small margin of time, he typically seemed more than satisfied and eager to get on with his typical one man routine.

Carlisle appreciated their unconventional friendship, however. Thus far, he was the only other vampire he'd spoken to in great lengths. The only others he'd been able to compare Alistair to were the sewer dwellers of London, whom he wished to erase from his memory.

He wanted to explore beyond the boundaries of the little town he been residing in. It was a safe bet to stay for a short while longer, though Carlisle knew there was more out there for him to experience. He wanted to meet others of his kind to see how civilized they could be.

Alistair was far more than a step up from the London vampires, though Carlisle knew he chose the same diet. He began to wonder if anyone had the morality to do as he did, choosing wildlife over humans to feed on.

A familiar voice broke his concentration, and John pushed through the front doors of the library with a smile. He towed his wife just behind him, who carried in a small plate of food.

"Carlisle," he said with a grin, "This is my wife Annie."

Carlisle stood up from his position and made his way around to greet them. He extended a polite hand and a smile to the woman and she flashed him a wide smile.

"I've heard much about, Carlisle," she told him.

He couldn't help but feel warmth from the old woman. She was somewhat stout and big boned with a friendly round face and a genuine smile. Gray curls tucked out of the sides of a bonnet she wore that matched a long, blue dress that hung by her feet.

"I've heard much about you, too," he said with a nod, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

John grinned and asked her to hand him the plate of food.

"We just thought you might want some company, and a warm meal," she told him.

Carlisle grinned and truly appreciated the generosity and true goodness that radiated out of the old couple.

"This is too much," he explained, "You didn't have to do this for me."

"You're awfully handsome," Annie said, "Why haven't you married?"

John gave his wife a look, having already told her not to pry into his life. Carlisle looked at John and gave a laugh.

"Um, well," he started, unsure of how to answer.

"Let him eat, Annie," John said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "You're right. I'm just being a bit a nosey, aren't I?"

"No," Carlisle assured her, "It's quite alright." He looked at the plate of food before him. As a human, he would have been able to finish it off without so much as taking a breath.

Now, he thought nothing of the food, and the thought of his sample tastings of various fruits along the way made his facial expression almost twist with disgust.

Like everything else in his life, he restrained himself from such a rude notion and began to eat what Annie had prepared for him.

It was harder to get down than he imagined, but he did it without missing a beat. "This is very good," he told her in between bites.

She smiled, seeming to be elated that he felt that way about her cooking, "Thank you."

John patted him on the back, "I'll take over while you're eating if someone happens to come in."

Carlisle grinned and nodded, continuing to eat while Annie continued to ask him questions.

"How long have you lived in town?"

"About six years now," Carlisle told her, "John gave me this job and it's helped me with the classes I've taken at the university."

"That's wonderful," she said, "Medicine, is it?"

"Yes," he confirmed, "I've studied a little bit of everything, I suppose, but I'd like to continue studying medicine."

The three of them continue to chat for a while before the closing hour came around and John began to lock up.

"Well, Carlisle," Annie said, "It has been a pleasure to meet such a good mannered young man."

"The pleasure's been mine. Thank you for dinner and for keeping me company tonight," he looked over at John, "Both of you."

"If you'd ever like to stop by the house for a meal, please don't hesitate to ask John," she told him.

He nodded, "Thank you. We'll have to do that some time."

John shook his hand, and the three of them headed out into the night.

"Goodnight," Carlisle said with a wave.

"Goodnight," the pair said back, making their way in the opposite direction.

He glanced over his shoulder as John and Annie made their way out of sight.

Aside from the food he'd been forced to choke down, Carlisle found the evening to be very pleasant and nice.

He let his thoughts drift back to his father. Although he loved him very dearly, the warmth that radiated out of John and Annie had been completely absent from his father's personality. There was nothing warm about the man, and Carlisle regretfully thought how much happier his life could have been if someone like John had raised him.

He suddenly felt a wave of guilt. He and his father were, indeed, different; opposites even. But all in all, Carlisle had turned out to be a stand up young man; a gentleman as others often called him. There had to be some level of credit there to his father for his style of upbringing.

At the end of the night, Carlisle concluded his thoughts with the simple fact that everyone was different. Some people were hard on the surface; others let their kindness shine through.

For different reasons, he would never forget John and Annie, nor would he forget his father. They impacted him in different ways, both from a paternal standpoint, and he was grateful for the footprints they left in his life.

The true fact of the matter was that Carlisle could only control the decisions he made, and how he treated people. Despite all odds, he determined that, thus far, he'd been successful.


	8. Italy

**Chapter 7**

_1707 – Italy_

Over the course of a few decades, Carlisle had completely come to terms with who he was. He traveled around Europe and found different universities to keep his knowledge fresh in the subjects he admired the most.

As Alistair had informed him, there were others of his kind, many in fact. He made his share of acquaintances along the way, some more friendly than others, though many took a liking to him.

Carlisle was eager to have conversations with other vampires, and like all other aspects of his life, he was eager to become more educated in regards to their culture. He looked for any openings he could and felt strongly about the friendships that he was developing with others.

His nights remained the same as they had since leaving the initial university he had attended. He found that the information he needed to know, regarding medical care, had grown and developed over time. His earlier notes from the late 1660's were far less detailed than what he had come to learn in his more recent years of study.

The growth of medical field was something he admired a great deal, and deemed to be amazing. Carlisle felt fortunate, in an educational sense, that he had been blessed with so many years to gain an arsenal of knowledge that otherwise would have been impossible.

Carlisle felt overly accomplished in terms of his educational and professional life, though loneliness had begun to take its toll on him.

The constant downtime he had caused his thoughts to wander, and he, at times, began to feel like companionships were impossible in the vampire's world.

Many of his friends, though kind, never truly extended the invitation to travel and migrate around with them. He wasn't sure if he would even take an offer, should it arise, though the truth was that there was no one he held close to him; human or vampire.

The classes he'd taken were filed with many friendly people. There were a few young women along the way who flashed their attention in his direction, some of which he found to be beautiful, though he knew getting too close to any of them would be a great risk.

He had come across many humans over the years, and taken many long traveled roads, without being exposed for his true identity. It was mainly because he remained so quiet and reserved when it came to interacting with people. There were a few he let in a little closer than others, though he always had to keep his conversations shorter than he would have liked.

As far as a romantic relationship, there was no one who particularly caught his attention past a skin deep sense of beauty.

Carlisle knew the thought would have come across as arrogant to some, though it wasn't his intention. It wasn't that the women he encountered weren't good enough for him. The reasoning behind his constant rejections lied in the fact that he didn't feel right bringing someone into the vampire world that he didn't love.

On the contrary, if he ever did find a woman that he couldn't bear to live without, Carlisle knew he would never have the heart to change her into what he was, despite his own successes. He didn't know what it felt like to be in loved, or to be loved in such a way.

_Maybe there's a woman out there who's already been changed_, he thought.

Daydreams of romance drifted from Carlisle's mind as he was confronted by a stranger on one Italy's lonely alleyways.

He typically chose to walk the particular route after his nightly classes because it was quiet and easily led him out of the center of town to disappear into the night without a glance from human eyes. It was almost like an escape path that no one else seemed to know about.

"Night walker," a man's voice called.

Carlisle turned around, sure enough before he did that the person who'd called to him was a vampire. He'd learned the different types of scents in human beings versus those of their kind, and had engraved in his mind the specific scents of certain acquaintances. The one he sensed now was new and unfamiliar.

"I've been sent to call you in," the man went on.

"Call me in?" Carlisle asked, "I don't understand."

"There are some members of the coven I stay with who would like to meet you. They are highly intrigued by the way you live."

He was confused, but nodded, "How did you find me?"

The man scoffed at the question, appearing slightly offended, "It was hardly a difficult task."

"Are you a tracker?" Carlisle asked him, using the dialogue he'd picked up from Alistair.

The man's face hardened, though he seemed to appreciate the fact that Carlisle knew of his ability, "I am. I followed your thoughts from the library."

"My thoughts?" Carilsle asked, "Who are you?"

"My name is Demetri," he explained.

Carlisle looked at the man's regal attire that suited his bold, confident personality. He expected the redness that lingered in his eyes before he nodded again, "I'm Carlisle."

"I do suggest we hurry to the mansion. Aro will become impatient." Again, his voice was hard, though not rude.

Carlisle followed the man through the city, feeling slightly uneasy, yet extremely intrigued.

Demetri's dialogue and the way he kept himself made him at least appear intelligent. Carlisle suspected he was a part of some type of organized version of vampire civilization. It wasn't long before his thoughts were confirmed.

Carlisle walked into a dark, dimly lit residence with candles flickering in all corners of the room they had entered.

Before him stood three kingly men, each with hair to their shoulders and long, black cloaks. They each maintained a naturally graceful appearance, and had Carlisle not even known their world existed, he would have been easily swayed by the idea that the men were immortal.

Each of them had skin like block of fragile marble and eyes, like the rest of the vampires Carlisle had met, of a red that seemed to glow in the darkness.

To go hand in hand with their beauty, the men were quite frightening. There was an aura that accompanied even their slightest movements that rang with the word 'danger'.

Carlisle, however, felt himself drawn in by their appearances. He would have guessed they'd been alive for thousands and thousands of years by their looks alone. For the first time since being transformed, he felt inferior and small compared to the overwhelming majestic surroundings he'd been drawn to.

Around the room were scattered others of their kind, each with their own unique elements about them. There was an underlying uniform theme, however, that occurred throughout the dwellers of the mansion. They were controlled and civilized.

Carlisle suspected they also carried with them a great deal of knowledge about the past and present that he was longing to hear about. He knew these men had a story.

The one in the middle stood with a smile and his hands together neatly. He seemed to be studying Carlisle with a great amusement. His eyes were wider than his two counterparts and he slowly approached where he and Demetri stood.

"Demetri," the man spoke with an angelic ring in his voice.

Carlisle looked over as the tracker reached his hand out, allowing the man to take it between his own. The two of them stood in silence while the others looked on intently at their unspoken interaction.

The man's head was bowed and Demetri looked on before his hand was finally released.

"Carlisle," the regal stranger said, looking in his direction, "Carlisle is it?"

Confusion and awe must have filled his face and Carlisle nodded, "Yes."

"How wonderful it is to meet you," he said, "My name is Aro, and I know you've already met Demetri."

He nodded and looked over Aro's shoulder at the two men who continued to stare.

"This is Marcus and Caius," he explained, raising a hand in the direction of the two men respectively as he said their names.

"Hello," Carlisle said with a nod, "It's a pleasure to meet all of you."

"I've been intrigued by your living habits for some time," Aro admitted, "It's why I've had Demetri bring you back here."

"How did you find me?" he asked.

Aro smiled, eager to fill Carlisle in on his heightened abilities, "I recognized your presence from the moment you set foot in our territory. To be particularly honest, I wasn't overly interested in meeting you until I recognized that you associate yourself with humans, and with a restraint I have never known before."

"It's something I've been practicing since I was changed."

Aro took a step in Carlisle's direction, gracefully skimming his feet over the floor beneath him, "May I?"

Carlisle was confused as Aro held his hands out in the same fashion as he had with Demetri.

"Aro can read every thought you've ever had," Demetri explained, still holding his position to his left.

Again, Carlisle found himself in a state of disbelief and wondered how anything he was experiencing could be possible. The thought of this man being able to see everything that ever crossed his mind, on the other hand, gave him anxious pains and he felt as though it was intrusive, to say the least.

Aro waited patiently with the same smile as he had before, and Carlisle decided to give in to his insecurities and extended his hand.

He waited momentarily as Aro's eyes shut. He looked as if he was watching Carlisle's life flash before him, and he quickly realized that, that was exactly what he was doing.

When Aro opened his eyes, he stared back at Carlisle with astonishment of his own, "Never?"

Carlisle felt his eyebrows raise, as he was initially confused. He then quickly understood what Aro must have meant. "Are you referring to my food source?"

The man to the left of Aro and to Carlisle's right, Caius, stepped forward. His face was twisted in an angry disbelief and he seemed to want all the details from his approach.

Carlisle felt a little uneasy from his expression, though waited for Aro's response.

"You've never killed a human before? Not even once…" His thought started out as a question, though abruptly transformed into a thoughtful statement.

"I couldn't bring myself to murder a human," Carlisle told him.

"Murder?" Caius asked, "It's our natural food source."

Aro raised a hand calmly to keep him from continuing. From the action, Carlisle suspected he was the leader of their group as Caius did as he asked and remained silent.

"How can you stand it?" the leader asked him, "Just the thought of a succulent vein in the human neck is enough to drive me into a frenzy."

"It wasn't easy in the beginning," Carlisle explained, "I went for months without feeding when I was first changed. I didn't know there was another way until I came across a family of deer in the field nearby where I was staying."

Everyone's attention was now on him and he felt even more uncomfortable than before.

"Months?" the other man to Aro's side asked in a raspy voice, "You didn't feed for months? Even as a newborn vampire?"

"That's right," Carlisle answered.

Everyone in the room seemed to be reliving their first moments in the vampire world. They looked at Carlisle as if he was unnatural. Their expressions showed that they didn't understand and couldn't personally relate.

"Our thirst is nearly uncontrollable in our earliest years," Aro explained, "I find it highly amazing that you were able to restrain yourself for so long, even from blood in general. To never know the taste of a human's blood, oh it is such a… tragedy."

A hunger lingered in his expression and his eyes seemed to be looking beyond the walls of their lair. He was visualizing the hunt; living it in his mind. It was thrilling, exciting and filled a void inside of him.

Carlisle recognized the hunger in Aro's face. He knew what it felt like; though he had the advantage of never tasting a drop of human's blood. It kept him from having the fantasy that was written all over the Italian leader's face.

For a second, he thought it was almost not fair. Had Carlisle, even once, given in to the taste of human blood, he would surely have a more difficult time harnessing the thirst for it.

"I admire you self-control," Aro went on, "It's an ability I've never seen someone possess in all of my years." He paused and tried to take in Carlisle's reaction, "I understand you're an educated man."

"I've studied at a number of universities."

"As I've seen from your thoughts. I've also been watching you, myself. I know that you spend quite a bit of time in the library not far from here."

"That's right."

"Let it be known that we, too, have our own version of the modern day library maintained by humans," Aro told him, "It will be at your accessibility at any time. Feel free to read any and all books you find there."

Carlisle was intrigued. He could sense the men held respect for the modern day subjects and hoped Aro was sincere in his word to allow him access to the library.

"Marcus," Aro said, without turning his head.

The man to his right stepped forward.

"Could you escort Carlisle to the library? I'd like him to see if the books we store would be of interest to him."

"With pleasure," Marcus responded. He waved for Carlisle to join him, as he made his way toward an opening in the back of the room.

"Please, take your time," Aro told him, "Spend as much time here as you'd like. You're welcome to stay with our coven if you wish. I've seen you've been traveling alone and are in search of some company."

"Thank you," Carlisle said, "Thank you very much. I appreciate your hospitality."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Carlisle." He turned to Marcus and gave a nod.

Carlisle let the man lead him out of the room, down a long corridor made of stone, eventually reaching their destination.

From the floor to the ceiling, books lined the walls. Carlisle looked around the massive room that served as their own personal library. His mouth hung open and he openly admired the collection their coven had.

Each section was labeled, making his reading preferences easy to find.

"Read anything you'd like," Marcus said, "As Aro explained, they're all at your disposal. Just make sure you return each book to its appropriate position on the wall when you're finished.

Carlisle turned to thank Marcus, but he was gone. He found himself to be slightly astonished by his abrupt departure, though didn't think much of it. There were too many possibilities at his fingertips, and he intended to utilize what his new found friends had offered.

He thought that Aro's overly enthusiastic welcome was probably an exaggerated kindness, and suspected that the members of their coven would surely make fun of level of morality.

Their company and conversations, though, were more than welcomed by Carlisle. He was already overly impressed by their library and quickly came to realize that his vampire counterparts held respect for at least the academic end of human culture.

Carlisle also kept in mind that they had been ones to initiate contact with him. On that note, he decided to do as Aro suggested and make himself at home, at least for the time being. It was quite nice to be welcomed so generously by other civilized members of his kind.


	9. The Depths of The Volturi

_"You smell the rain, and as you walk the final dirt_  
_Pictures of the crime are past, but not forgotten in this world_  
_See the valley turn to darkness on your way_  
_The only friends you have are standing at the gallows end."_

**Chapter 8**

Carlisle began to enjoy his stay with the coven that called themselves The Volturi. He came to realize how much the brothers knew, and gradually learned of all of their members' hidden abilities.

The twins, Alec and Jane, were highly powerful from what he had initially been told, and eventually from what he witnessed. They had no problem showing off their gifts, though the members of their group, who were volunteered by Aro to be victimized for the sake of experiment, were not as enthusiastic. They never protested.

Carlisle stood with Aro at his side as the Volturi leader nodded.

"Alec…"

The young man nodded back and fixed his attention on a member of what the brothers called "The Volturi Guard".

Carlisle watched as smoky vapors were released from Alec's hands. They surrounded the man, rendering his senses useless. His facial expression signaled fear and he almost appeared as though he was blind from the inability to keep his eyes secure on where Alec stood.

"What you're witnessing," Aro explained, "Is Alec's ability to strip a man of his senses. It can aid in his hunting activities, though he doesn't truly need it for that."

"When else would he use it?"

Aro smiled, "I thought you'd never ask, Carlisle."

He somewhat wished he hadn't, from the ominous undertones of his continually welcoming voice.

"The purpose of our coven is to keep an order in the vampire world." He called upon Jane next as Alec released the man of from his trap. It wasn't a second later after he regained his bearings that inflicted her painful gift on him.

Carlisle's eyebrows pressed together and displeasure lingered on his face as the man cried out as if he were being stabbed by a thousand swords. Aro took in the empathy in his eyes and smiled before encouraging Jane to stop.

She waited an extra second, knowing Aro wouldn't mind, before the guard member's screams stopped. He collapsed to the floor in recovery before Caius escorted him from the room.

"As I was saying," Aro went on, "We're in charge of up-keeping the law and order of our world. Unlike you may think we do have a set of rules, or guidelines to go by."

He knew he was keeping Carlisle's interest and so he continued.

"You've done an excellent job of keeping out of the sunlight," Aro said, "And I assure you've felt the effects of what happens if you are exposed to the light."

He nodded, "The shimmering effect?"

"Precisely," he said, "Now, the last thing want is the humans knowing who we are. As you know from the experiences I've seen in your thoughts, people can be quite judgmental and ruthless when it comes to hunting us."

Carlisle nodded, acknowledge his own partaking in the events in his earlier life.

"We don't expose ourselves in the sunlight. We don't draw any attention to ourselves. We cannot reveal our identities to humans, unless of course we plan to do away with them shortly after."

Aro paused for a moment, "If someone does break these rules that have kept us safe for centuries, I call upon Jane, or Alec, Felix, and at times it's us who make the final blow. Regardless, the end result is the same."

"Which is?" Carlisle asked.

"Termination."

"Death?"

"Indeed," Aro answered.

Carlisle looked at him with wondering eyes, "Our kind are capable of dying?"

"Of course," he answered with a laugh, "Usually by the hands of each other. It takes a lot, I do admit, though it's nothing our guard can't handle."

"How does it happen?"

"Well, if you must know, when someone breaks the law, we tear them apart limb from limb, before removing the head and burning the pieces."

Carlisle's uneasiness must not have been as masked as he suspected. He took in a few breaths.

"Oh, there's no need to worry friend," Aro assured him, "You haven't broken any laws, and I suspect you won't. You have impeccable self-control and you're highly intelligent."

"Are there any other rules?" Carlisle asked.

"Those are the ones most of the ingrates break," Aro explained, "Though there are others; immortal children for one."

"Immortal children?"

"That will be a discussion for another time. Don't you have a class to attend?"

Carlisle nodded, "Oh, yes. I do." He politely excused himself and began to head out of the room.

"Have you thought more about what I've said?" Aro asked him.

Carlisle turned back around and gave him a confused expression.

"About your natural food source; have you given it some thought?"

He sighed, now a little worried about crossing Aro. Carlisle decided to be true to himself and answer honestly. "I appreciate the help, but I don't even crave human blood anymore. Wildlife is just fine for me."

Aro nodded, "Very well."

Carlisle nodded back and made his way to the university he'd been attending.

Class had ended for the night, though Carlisle made his way to the library adjacent to the university building. He knew he'd be tempted to get wrapped up in a conversation with Aro if he returned to the mansion, so he took it upon himself to study for a little while longer until the library closed.

He spent his time brushing up medical terms and new, specific procedures that went along with the profession.

The night had carried on quite regularly until there was a loud scream that rang through the building.

Carlisle stood up abruptly, as did a few others who were scattered about. Everyone looked at each other before following a few young men who darted from the building.

The screams originated on the sidewalk just outside the large, wooden door that allowed access to the library. Before he even left the building, Carlisle smelled the blood.

He quickly held his breath, though could almost feel his pupils dilate. The burning sensation in his throat came out with full force, enticing him and guiding him toward the source.

The doorstep with filled with frantic students, drawing others from around the city in their direction. The library's employees attempted to gain control of the situation, though found it extremely difficult given the panic-stricken state of everyone around them.

Carlisle continued to hold his breath, attempting not to take in any new breaths of temptation. The monster that had been dormant for all of forty years began to resurface. He wanted to experience the taste of human blood and give in to cravings that everyone else of his kind could not resist.

His eyes fixed on the mangled being at the step. From the condition of the body, Carlisle couldn't tell if it was a male or female, and felt great remorse for whatever suffering the person had gone through. It was this thought that made his true identity surface.

Carlisle wanted no part of hunting or feeding on humans. The ferocity of the attack on this person was inhumane and unjust. No one deserved to die a horrible, heinous death like this.

"Un attaco animale, un attaco animale!" an Italian woman screamed, causing others to look around the premises in terror.

Carlisle realized they were considering some kind of wild animal as the source of the crime, though he had a gut feeling that this wasn't the case. He suddenly knew that it wasn't a coincidence either. The Volturi had to have been behind the attack.

"Il diavlo," another man called.

_Diavlo_, Carlisle thought. His mind searched for the answer he knew he had from studying the Italian language. It was a term that was not often used, but somewhere in the depths of his thoughts, he found the translation.

_The Devil._

His mind rushed back to the nights on London's streets where people chanted similar things on a nightly basis. He knew what events like this could do to a population of people, and possibly an entire city. When tragedy struck, people lost their composure and often turned to violence.

Carlisle pushed his way out of the library, fully exposing himself to the blood that had quite literally poured onto the streets. Although it was uncomfortable, everything Carlisle had just rationalized in his mind overtook the blood lust, and he managed to leave the scene before he changed his mind.

Aro had perched himself onto the highest point of Italy's city; atop a tall, stone building that overlooked the center point.

His eyes scanned the scene below, and though he was fully fed, the smell of the blood, even from the great distance, sang to him.

Disbelief hung in his eyes as he watched the young man from London whisk past the profusely bleeding body as if it were nothing.

Carlisle was unlike anyone he'd ever encountered. He held a divine self-control that continued to impress Aro. He felt torn, not knowing what he wanted of the young vampire.

Egotistically, he wished nothing more than to be the one to break him of his righteous virtue. Aro had never had a problem controlling people and leading them in the direction of his choice, or liking.

On the other hand, his admiration for Carlisle's self-induced gift played a hand just as strong as his ego. He wanted to see the man succeed as his limits were tested. It was prove him worthy of a place in The Volturi. Aro also knew that Carlisle was profoundly loyal, even in the limited time he'd spent with them thus far.

Loyalty was an infrequent trait to come by, particularly in the underworld.

He sighed, taking in the beauty of his city for a moment before the lingering aroma of blood began to get the best of him.

To avoid making the circus below into an even bigger fiasco, Aro hurried away from the city to search for a second meal elsewhere.

Carlisle was welcomed back to the mansion by a smirking Caius, who shook his head as he entered.

"You must not _truly_ be a vampire," he said mockingly.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked.

"He's referring to the blood," Marcus replied, interjecting quietly from the corner of the room.

"You have no desire to devour the human on the steps of the library?" Caius asked.

Carlisle felt a little betrayed, though realized his original thought had been correct, "You left the body there?"

He sneered, "Indeed. I picked the plumpest gentleman I could find."

"How do you do it?" Marcus asked, seeming to be genuinely inquisitive.

Carlisle sensed there was no ridicule in his demeanor, as there so obviously was with Caius.

"I've trained myself over the last forty years," he explained, "It hasn't been easy, believe me. I'm at a point where it's not overly hard for me to resist; though I must admit it almost got the better of me tonight."

"The man was already dead," Caius went on, "You could have fed without that religious guilty you carry around."

"I wouldn't have wanted to make a scene in front of all those people. They were already spreading rumors of the presence of the devil."

Caius laughed again, "They've spread more rumors than that, Carlisle."

"There are legends about us, you know," Marcus said, chiming in again.

"Humans know in the depths of their souls that we exist," Caius continued, "They do believe we're here. They just have no concrete proof, and to be honest, we could do away with this entire city if need be."

"If need be?" Carlisle asked.

"If we were ever exposed for what we really are."

"Wouldn't that draw a lot of attention?"

"It will never happen," Marcus assured him, "Caius is just being theoretical."

A tall, slender woman entered the room and Caius arose from his slouched position.

Carlisle looked over at the woman, recognizing immediately that she was a vampire. Her skin was a perfect marble tone, though held the same fragile look as the rest of theirs. Her dark hair hung down perfectly straight past her shoulders and was complimented by a set of red eyes.

"Carlisle, this is my wife Athenodora," Caius said.

"How do you do?" the woman said, extending her hand.

Carlisle returned the gesture and nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

She smiled and leaned an arm on Caius before the two of them exchanged a few words, talking quietly at first before disappearing down the hall.

Carlisle was intrigued, wondering how they'd met and if one of them had changed the other.

"They found each other on their travels over a century ago."

_A century_, Carlisle thought. He continued to be amazed by how these people lived.

"Did he turn her into a…?" he couldn't finish the sentence.

"No, no," Marcus explained, "They found each other, both as they are now."

"Do you have a wife?"

Marcus was pained by the question and he let out a deep sigh, "I was in love with a woman named Didyme. We were happily in love. She, too, was one of us; a vampire."

Carlisle knew the ending to the story would most likely be tragic from the tone of his voice.

"Our love was deeper than anyone else's I've ever known; far deeper than Caius and Athenodora," his eyes shifted to meet Carlisle's for the first time in their discussion, "I have the ability to see and feel the depths of peoples' emotions and relationships. I see what they are truly feeling."

Another pained sigh left his mouth, "Didyme and I, we were blissfully happy together. She was Aro's sister."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows, surprised by the small twist in the story.

"To get right to the point, she was murdered. She was taken from me far, far too soon. We were just getting started."

"I'm sorry," Carlisle told him.

"Aro, Caius and I, we all looked tirelessly for the one who caused her demise, and mine as well. We have been unsuccessful thus far." Marcus' eyes scanned the walls and fixed on a burning candle, "I tried to end it all, though Aro wouldn't have it. Nothing has seemed quite as bright since Didyme has passed."

Carlisle looked down and repeated himself, "I'm sorry, Marcus."

"It's quite alright," he said solemnly.

Carlisle wished there was more he could do to console the most humane of the brothers. He stood quietly before a moment before Marcus dismissed him.

"Go on," he said, "I'm in need of no sympathy. It's about time for me to satisfy my thirsty, anyway."

Carlisle smelled the faint fragrance of blood, as the library wasn't overly far from the mansion.

Marcus stood up from where he sat alone in the corner before hastily disappearing from sight.


	10. The Ugly Truth

_"I don't mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadence; but I can't feed on the powerless." - Pearl Jam _

**Chapter 9**

Aro never directly spoke of the evening at the library, nevertheless Carlisle suspected that Caius hadn't acted alone; or at least planned alone.

The evening came and went, as did many during Carlisle's stay with The Volturi.

Carlisle continued to study, splitting his time between the libraries of the human world and underworld. He found sources in both that contributed to where he would eventually like to be professionally.

He became extremely familiar with the members of the coven, as well as the guard. Just as he thought he had met everyone, a new member seemed to appear out of the woodwork.

Felix, the physically strongest member of the guard, had become a constant presence in the lair of the home where Carlisle frequented.

He recognized his strong connections with Jane, Alec and Demetri and realized as the years went on that the four of them were a core part of Aro's family.

Everyone had their roles, and the success lied in how well they were played. Carlisle observed that each individual member was at the top of their game, and selfishness for attention was virtually nonexistent. He concluded that this was the main contributor to their power and success as a group.

"A new legend has formed," Aro said aloud, as he sat in a large, stone structured chair in the corner of one of the many rooms in their castle.

Caius raised his eyes from whatever he was writing down, and Marcus turned his attention on their leader.

Carlisle looked at Aro, realizing his eyes were set in his direction. He closed the book he'd been reading and pushed the stack of them he'd taken from Aro's library to the side.

"It's about you, Carlisle."

The brothers looked in his direction and Carlisle looked confused. "About me?"

"Indeed," Aro said, beginning to pace slowly, "You see, there's this rumor being passed around the Italian culture about a stregoni benefici."

Carlisle knew the phrase was Italian, and he thought for a moment. Aro spoke just as the phrase sunk into his brain.

"A good vampire," he explained with an ear to ear smile.

Caius snickered and shook his head. Marcus' appearance didn't change much.

"I don't understand," Carlisle told them, "I haven't done anything to draw attention to myself. No one at the university has said anything to me, or acted differently."

"I suppose they don't know _who_ this good vampire is," Aro told him, "Yet they are aware, or I should say presume, that one exists."

Carlisle didn't know what to make of the information. He continued to sit quietly while Aro, amused as ever, went on with his story.

"There are rumors of all of us, Carlisle," he told him, "Don't be worried. You blend in quite nicely, as I've stated in the past. The color of your eyes contributes to this, as they're not red like the rest of ours."

Carlisle nodded, "I've suspected it's because of my diet."

"As have I."

They all sat silently for a moment. Carlisle still didn't know what to make of the rumors that Aro was speaking of.

"That's all, I suppose," he said, "I just thought you might like to know that, behind the shield of anonymity, you've made quite the name for yourself, Carlisle."

"Thank you for passing on the information," he said with a nod.

Carlisle sat wondering how such rumors were started. He thought he should start being more reserved when talking with humans. The last thing he wanted was for someone to spot him using his speed to vacate the city walls to hunt animals on the countryside.

He also suspected that his classmates and professors recognized a distinct difference in him. No one had been specific, but the stares he got from those he saw every day were unmistakable. In a similar reference to what Caius had said, humans knew something lurked in the depths of the city; they just didn't have the physical proof to make the ideas factual.

Carlisle thought of how some people were adamant about avoiding him, or getting too close. Others, however, seemed to be drawn to him in ways that he couldn't explain. It was as if they wanted to confirm their abstract suspicions and didn't know what it was about him that captivated them so much. He found this to be particularly true in the female gender.

"Some of them just know," Aro said nonchalantly, before quickly turning his attention the large, open doorway.

"We've got one," Demetri called, dragging a man in by the arm, with Felix teaming up on the other man's other side.

Aro paced slowly toward the man, who was blatantly being held captive against his will. Fear lingered in the pits of his eyes, and his face stung with hopelessness. He knew this was how he would end.

The brothers rose and accompanied Aro, appearing ghostly in their nimble movements across the room.

Carlisle rose from the position where he sat but stood in his ground in the back of the room. He'd heard of the executions, though he'd never witnessed one up close.

Jane and Alec entered the room through a side door and stood to the side with a clear view of the act that was about to take place. Carlisle looked in their direction momentarily before returning his attention to the vampire that was stuck between the tracker and the enforcer.

Aro looked at the man, taking in every ounce of fear and helplessness that radiated from his body. He would have smirked, but the thought that the vagabond seemed to have no regard for the laws he'd set up for their kind infuriated him.

He glared at the peasant that was now set to the ground on his knees, wanting to prolong perhaps the worst part of the slaying process; the anticipation.

Felix and Demetri both stayed hard in the way they carried themselves, though Felix turned the corner of his lip up in a close, half smile. He made eye contact briefly with Jane, who sat waiting with a similar smile.

It was then that Aro placed his hands on the sides of the man's head. He looked at the two highly regarded members of his guard and all at once, they pulled and twisted.

Carlisle winced as the man's head popped off securely in Aro's hands, while Felix and Demtri each held an arm.

The man's torso collapsed like a bag of bones onto the stone floor, leaving Caius, Jane and Alex with smiles. Aro stayed serious and motioned for his men to do away with the pieces of the body.

Marcus looked on with a dull, numb expression before returning to his chair.

Carlisle made eye contact with Aro as he passed, though neither man spoke to the other. They both looked on as Felix and Demetri created a small fire and got rid of the law-breaking vigilante for good.

"This is the part of the job that becomes a bit difficult," Aro said aloud to no one in particular. His words were satirical and everyone knew he was being purposely untruthful. He also knew the act had bothered Carlisle, more dearly than he felt it should.

For a reason unknown to him, he found pleasure in testing his friend and even causing him slight discomfort. As the years passed, he wanted more to break him from his compassionate ways, though in twenty years it never happened.

Again, Aro struggled with ego versus all other reasoning. He wanted to be the one to break Carlisle. He also had come to consider him a dear friend, and truly felt that way. There was a small, yet genuine, fear that Carlisle's compassion would one day lead to his own departure from their world, but decided it was not in his ultimate interest to protect him.

"Are we prepared for tonight's festival?" Caius asked. He looked at Aro, "After our plans were so rudely interrupted." His eyes shifted to the fire where the body still burned.

"But of course, brother," Aro answered, "I wouldn't let the irresponsible actions of one man ruin our plans."

Caius grinned and looked at Marcus. The twins seemed to be itching with enthusiasm, as did Felix and Demetri.

"Bring in the wives," Aro stated. He stared at the open doorway before turning his attention to Jane and Alec, "Shall we?"

They both nodded eagerly and Aro allowed them ahead of himself before they disappeared through the doorway and down toward the stone antechamber.

Carlisle knew what a festival meant. It was The Volturi's way of saying they were going to have a slaughter; a feast of humans.

In the past, he'd excused himself from such events, though not before he witnessed the way they managed to lure massive groups of unknowing citizens to the tunnels below the city of Volterra.

Carlisle, again, excused himself from the group and saw Caius roll his eyes as he traveled down the corridors where Aro and the twins had just disappeared to.

Before coming in contact with anyone, he turned left down another hall that lead up to the streets of Italy. Lucky for him, the sun had set so he was free to roam around in a place other than The Volturi lair.

On his way, he heard the excited cluster of voices as they wandered through the elegant, cultured stone dwelling. They were completely unsuspecting of what waited for them at the end of the walkway.

Carlisle stopped as he reached the streets and listened, torturing himself by doing so. The excited conversations turned to blood curdling screams and shrieks of life ending terror.

He felt his stomach turn to knots and he wanted to run at his most natural pace and get away from it all; the bloodlust, the murder, the loneliness, the shadows…

Carlisle knew he couldn't possible spend eternity with The Volturi coven. It had been his best bet, for a time, but his conscience was weighing heavily on him. In his mind, he was no better than the rest of them.

Sure, he didn't feed on humans, but he let them go into the snake pit without warning. He let them die. Worse, he let them die a long, slow, painful death at the hands of monstrous vampires.

Carlisle looked around the city and was about to take off to the country side to be by himself for a time, and perhaps to seek out a meal. Before he could go, a large church in the distance caught his attention.

Faith had all but disappeared from his life after parting ways with his ailing father, but at that moment, he felt something pulling at him that urged him to pray.

He jogged down the street until he reached the building he'd seen from far away and stood by the steps. Carlisle felt unworthy and felt he would surely be judged if he took a step inside.

The building stood far greater than him, towering above the city toward the darkening sky. It was intimidating and almost frightening. Carlisle thought for sure he was damned and feared entering the sacred ground, like he would suddenly burst to flames.

A loud sigh left his mouth and he bowed his head before taking the step and entering. He wanted to repent for what was taking place below ground at the moment. He wanted to beg for his mercy and for the mercy of those who were facing their maker.

_What could I have done?_ Carlisle thought. He closed his eyes, knowing what the right thing would have been. He should have warned them. He should have gone screaming that ancient vampires, ancient _educated, manipulative_ vampires waited to feed at the end of the tunnel.

Aro would have surely killed him, especially if some of the humans escaped to tell their tale, but Carlisle knew he would have done the right thing. He would have died honorably, and perhaps then have been given a chance at an eternity in heaven.

Now, he felt doomed. He felt doomed more than ever because he failed to save the lives of the innocent for fear of his own life. It was selfish and wrong. Carlisle felt now as if he deserved no remorse from God, as he had earlier in his life.

_"Forgive me for my sins_," he whispered, standing in the wide open doorway of the church, _"Forgive me, Father."_


	11. The New World

**Chapter 10**

Carlisle had spoken with Aro regarding his plans to leave Italy to pursue a career in the New World. He had never been to that part of the world, and hoped he would encounter others of their kind, perhaps with more of a morality based style of life.

The latest feast had taken its toll on him and he decided he had to make a change. For two solid decades he'd lived with The Volturi, and despite their differences, he did take some positive things from his stay.

"You will be missed, Carlisle," Aro said, bidding his friend a farewell, "I'll be sure to drop in for a visit some time when I have the chance, perhaps in the next several hundred years."

Carlisle nodded; still astonished by the number of years the members of the Italian coven had been alive. A part of him hoped to see his friend after the passing of several centuries. The other part of him felt overwhelmed that he could feel so empty for that long.

The possibilities were endless, however. Carlisle knew a lot more about their culture than he had prior to his stay in Volterra. He had a strong base to live by and realized that anything could happen in the future.

Aro handed Carlisle a memento as he departed. The gift was a well-crafted painting of Carlisle and the three brothers, which had been created by Francesco Solimena, a well-known Italian painter.

"Please accept this as a token of appreciation to your loyalty."

Carlisle looked the work of art, one which he'd seen many times. It was quite the masterpiece and he decided it would be a great memory of his time in Italy.

"Thank you for everything," Carlisle said politely, bidding a final adieu to his friend, "I've learned a great deal here and I hope you wouldn't take offense from my leaving."

"Of course not," Aro said, "Do return whenever you please. Our door is always open."

Carlisle nodded and thanked him again as Aro saw him off with a wave and a smile.

Although there was a certain feeling of sadness in leaving the coven he'd first established himself with, Carlisle was eager to experience life in a new country. He hoped, there, he could find the answers he was looking for.

The New World was far different than Carlisle's imagination lead him to believe. He was highly captivated by the new culture that was presented to him and recorded everything his mind could take in about the establishing country.

The nation formed and developed enormously throughout the eighteenth century, and Carlisle was able to experience everything about it. He witnessed the founding fathers as they signed the Declaration of Independence. He made his way onto the battle fields in the heat of the country's revolution, and even met another vampire named Garrett in the midst of the Revolutionary War.

They'd become friendly, though Garrett was much like Alistair in that he preferred to travel around nomadically with no real desire or need for company. His demeanor, on the other hand, was far more outgoing and friendly than Carlisle's first acquaintance.

The two of them became close friends, though failed to stay in constant contact due to Garrett's overly eager desire to fight in every battle he could manage, for the sake of the American dream. It was something Carlisle respected about the young vampires, and made no attempts to hold him back.

Throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Carlisle met his fair share of others of their kind. He continued to travel around the world during, what he referred to as, transitional periods, though maintained permanent residences in America, where he lived out his dream and worked as a doctor. The transitional periods were the time frames when Carlisle was forced to relocate in order to maintain his secrecy. They provided the most ideal times for world travel.

For centuries, he was able to save an extraordinary amount of money, though never knew what to do with it. He'd bought and sold houses as he maintained semi-permanent residences in areas around the United States, but knew it was in his best interest not to stay in a specific area for longer than ten to fifteen years.

As a doctor, Carlisle found a sense of balance in his constantly torn mind. The days in Volterra had haunted him and he often felt sorrow for the lives he couldn't save during those times.

The medical field was a perfect outlet, and was the core to the balance of his life. It was what he needed to go on. Day in and day out for centuries, Carlisle felt accomplished through the lives he saved. There was no better way for him to live.

The job dimmed out the loneliness that had once caused him to feel empty and grief-ridden. Carlisle no longer identified himself as a vampire, but as a doctor, and though still somewhat lonely, Carlisle was content. He had finally come full circle from his early, dark days and assumed it would probably be as good as it would get for him.

The complex part was that he was wrong.

...

_1911_

Carlisle had been living in Columbus, Ohio for nearly six years. He was mildly happy, and his level of gratification with his profession kept him going, as it had for the past century.

He marveled over the developments in the medical sciences and often times found himself going over the comparisons he'd written down from decade to decade, and more impressively, century to century.

No one would ever believe he'd been privileged enough to experience it all. It was something he wished he could discuss with other doctors and medical practitioners; though he knew it was impossible. He would either be looked upon as crazy, quite possibly the male version of a witch. Either way, the consequences weren't overly friendly or appealing. Sadly, he kept the information to himself.

The hospital he worked at had been quiet as he strolled in for his evening shift. Despite his longing for interaction, Carlisle put up a wall between him and his colleagues and maintained only small bouts of conversation with them.

"Dr. Cullen," a man called, as he was just getting situated.

Carlisle raised his eyes to meet the man's.

"You have a patient."

He nodded, "Send them in. I'm about ready."

His co-worker nodded and began speaking with the voices Carlisle recognized to be female.

"Dr. Cullen will take care of you," he said, guiding what ended up being a mother and daughter to where he waited. "It's her leg," the man said as they entered through the doorway.

Carlisle immediately aided in getting the younger of the two women onto the examination table. She winced, though held in the pain quite well.

The man exited and gave each of them a friendly smile before the mother introduced herself, "I'm Mrs. Platt," she said, extending her hand.

"Carlisle Cullen," he said informally with a nod. He shook the woman's hand and flashed a friendly smile.

"This is my daughter, Esme," Mrs. Platt went on, "We've been having some difficulty teaching her to act like a young lady."

Mrs. Platt let her eyes meet her daughter's with a lack of enthusiasm and even less patience.

Carlisle grinned, wondering what the story was behind the injury.

"I'll let _her_ explain," she said, "I'll just be in the waiting room."

The mother and daughter exchanged another look, though clearly did not see eye to eye.

"So, Esme, tell me what happened to your leg." Carlisle said, finding it hard not to grin.

Esme stared at the doctor, taken back by his smile. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like she couldn't speak.

"I'm guessing there was some type of accident," he went on.

"Oh, um, well," Esme said, clearing her throat, "Yes."

Carlisle heard her heartbeat pick up and he tried not to snicker, though another smile spread across his face, adding to the sudden palpitations of his patient. He regained a stern expression so he could get the answers he needed to treat her wounds.

"I fell out of a tree," Esme explained, "I was out playing with some of the local kids. It was nothing really. When I fell I heard a crack and then of course, my mother came running out to save the day, preaching about acting like a lady." She shook her head.

Carlisle grinned again and looked down, "I'll have a look at it."

His icy hands traced over the area of her leg that was swollen and inflamed. She flinched from his initial touch and he removed both of his hands from where they lingered near her calf.

"Did that hurt?" he asked with a voice full of concern.

Esme looked at the honest alarm that clung to his expression. She felt, again, as if she couldn't talk or move; like he had paralyzed her into the state she was currently sitting in.

"Your- your hands, they're cold," she told him.

Carlisle often suspected that his patients recognized this, but none of them had ever said anything about it. He grinned, charmed by her boldness and quickly realized that the young girl before him had more life than he'd seen in anybody in the last three hundred years.

"I was, uh, yes. I know." He nodded, having a lack of words for her comment.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to be rude. That was the reason I flinched. It hurts a little, but not that much," then added a little too eagerly, "You can continue."

Carlisle proceeded to examine the leg, engaging in a conversation with Esme quite easily. He kept her distracted from the painful movements that went along with securing the limb through a series of questions about her life, and what she planned to do in the future.

The answers she gave were quite captivating, and Carlisle knew that Esme would be just fine as she progressed through her life. She used her own mind to think, and from her actions that lead to her broken leg, he sensed that conformity was not a part of her repertoire.

In a world full of greed, it was often difficult to find people who broke through unconventional barriers to better themselves, or to be happy.

If there was any predicting what Esme's life would become, Carlisle was willing to bet she would find her way to a happy journey.

"Well, Ms. Platt," he concluded, "I'd advise you to stay out of trees, but I don't think you'd listen to me if I did."

Esme snickered and looked at her leg that was now patched up. She raised her eyes again to meet his and felt a chilling connection.

Carlisle, at that same moment, kept his eyes locked with Esme's before he distracted himself by looking at the medical chart on his clipboard.

"I'd advise you stay out of trees," he repeated, "But it sounds like you enjoy yourself too much. I know you've got your parents and everyone to lecture you on what's right and wrong, so I'm not going to do that.

"Thank you," Esme said with a smile. "Do you think climbing trees and having fun and swimming and getting dirty is just for boys?"

Carlisle raised his eyes back to meet hers and smiled wide. He looked toward the door, then back to Esme, "No."

She smiled back at him and nodded.

"But that's between us." He placed the chart down and helped Esme off the table, getting her a set of crutches to aid in her walk.

His hand brushed hers, though this time Esme didn't pull back. She tried prolonging their interaction, and felt completely crushed when Carlisle called her mother back into the room.

"The leg's broken," he explained, "Though it's only a hairline fracture, which means she shouldn't need the crutches for more than a few weeks."

Mrs. Platt nodded and looked at Esme, shaking her head as she did, "Thank you Dr. Cullen."

"You're quite welcome."

"Esme," her mother urged, "What do you say?"

"Thank you," Esme said, unable to keep her eyes from staring into the depths of his.

Carlisle nodded with a smile, "You're welcome, Esme."

Mrs. Platt waved goodbye and helped her daughter to the car.

Carlisle headed back into the medical examination room, and glanced out the window. He watched as Esme got into the car, looking over her shoulder the entire time, before Mrs. Platt drove them out of sight.

...

Esme sat in her room upon being scolded again by her mother. Normally, she would have fought back or tried to make excuses and argue, though she simply agreed to her punishment with a series of nods and "Yes Ma'am's".

When her mother shut the door to her bedroom, she finally felt free to explore what she felt when she spoke with Dr. Cullen that day.

A smile lingered on her face as she pictured his smile and the feel of his ice cold hands by her shin bone. He was far more handsome than anyone she had ever seen, and it matched how perfectly polite he had been when speaking to her at the hospital.

Esme laid down flat in the middle of her bed and continued to daydream about the doctor.

A small part of her contemplated hurting herself again, just so she could take another visit down to see him.

_Don't be ridiculous_, she thought to herself, _how sick is that?_

"Love sick," Esme answered her question aloud.

The punishment her mother had given her turned out to be not a punishment at all. In the confines of her room, Esme was free to block out the rest of the world and focus on what her ideal life would be like. Every scenario she came up with consisted of Dr. Cullen.


	12. Spanish Influenza

**Chapter 11**

_1917 Columbus, Ohio_

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Esme Platt transformed into Esme Evenson in the instant her lips pressed against her new husband's.

Charles was his name, and her parents had more than willingly given their daughter away to such a pristine, rich gentleman. He was everything they'd hope for in a husband for Esme and now felt secure that their daughter's dreamer mentality would fade and she would become the typical wife of their time.

Esme agreed to the exchange of vows only to please her parents. Their pressures had gotten the best of her but she felt as if the life she always envisioned had been taken away and buried.

"You'll learn to love him," her mother had said reassuringly, when Esme had questioned her feelings for Charles several nights before the wedding, "It's how love works."

Esme couldn't disagree more. She may not have had the experience at the time to know how loved worked, but she was certain she knew what love felt like. With even greater certainty, she knew she didn't feel it for Charles Evenson. She never would.

And so, the tragic beginning of the end had begun to unfold for the short human life of Esme Platt Evenson.

_1918 Chicago, Illinois_

Carlisle, yet again, relocated and continued to practice medicine in Chicago. The development of new diseases began to plague the town, and people of all ages were dying right in front of him.

The Spanish Influenza had become an epidemic, and Carlisle found it difficult to treat patients with the disease, recognizing that the medical developments, at that time, were not up to speed with the severity of the illness.

His heart broke as he witnessed many lives lost, though the loss of young children particularly broke his heart. He felt as though they were stripped too early of their lives. The worst part was, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

The same guilt kicked the way it had far earlier in his life. If he couldn't save lives, what good was he doing? Though he was highly regarded in the community, Carlisle felt like a failure for being unable to prevent such tragedies. All he could do for these particular patients was to make sure they were comfortable, both mentally and physically.

Carlisle continued to work the night shifts and the empty feeling he once had continued to plague him. He felt inferior in terms of his profession, and as lonely as he'd ever been in regards to his personal life.

The nights seemed to drag, with death looking him in the face where ever he went.

Carlisle let his feet scuff over the floors as he made his rounds late one evening. His solemn shuffle was all he could manage upon losing a patient earlier that day.

"Dr. Cullen," a meek voice called to him, "Dr. Cullen."

He made his way into one of the rooms where a middle aged woman laid sick and in the middle of a coughing fit. She regained her composure and spoke to him with as much strength as she could.

"I need you to fix my son," she begged, "I need you to fix him. He's dying."

Carlisle looked into the woman's eyes. They were pleading and filled with angst and sadness.

"He's suffering," she went on in a voice just above a whisper.

"What does he have?"

"He has the influenza," she informed him, "The Spanish Influenza. His name is Edward Masen. He's a patient here. You _need_ to help him."

Carlisle could see that the woman looked at him as if he she knew something he didn't. Her eyes saw past the human mask he wore on a daily basis. She felt what he knew other people felt if they got close enough to him. To her, it was the unknown, but she knew _something_ was supernatural about him.

"I know you can help. Please."

"What's your name?" he asked her.

"Elizabeth Masen."

Carlisle locked eyes with the dying woman and she continued to plead to him with her desperate stare.

"I know you can save him," she said with a sure ring in her tone. It was as if she stated the plea as a fact.

Coughing filled the air and Carlisle closed his eyes. He decided to go have a look at her son to see what he could possible do.

"I'll try my best to save him Mrs. Masen," Carlisle told her.

He stood up from her bedside and made his way until he found a boy of about eighteen lying in a hospital bed. Beads of sweat decorated his face, and a strained look clung to his jaw, despite the fact it looked like he was attempting to sleep.

_I know you can save him_; the mother's words rang in his ears.

Carlisle looked at the condition of the young man. The influenza had taken its toll on his fragile body and he knew that it was only a matter of days before he, too, would fall victim to the disease.

Thoughts raced through Carlisle's head as he sat at the dying boy's bedside. Conventional methods would not save him. There was no medicine that could bring him back from the state he was currently in. Edward Masen was dying.

_I know you can help him. Please._

Elizabeth Masen's voice began to haunt Carlisle. He knew that she knew something was exceptional or unusual about him. The fact that she was willing to allow him to use any means necessary to bring her poor boy back to health played in his thoughts.

_Eternal damnation_, Carlisle thought. _Soulless monster. Demon. Vampire. Killer._

Carlisle struggled. He didn't know what to do. The thought of biting Edward crossed his mind. If he just bit him the way the sewer-dweller did without continuing the pursuit, Edward, in theory should change into a vampire.

He wouldn't die. He wouldn't be slaughtered or drained of his blood. Aro had described how he'd changed his own sister and wife.

Carlisle was almost certain that a simple bite would do the trick. It would save Edward from falling victim to the plague, but would it truly _save_ him?

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, selfishly thinking that Edward could begin to travel with him. They could become friends. He could teach him the ways of living as a vampire without taking human life. It could be the beginning of some kind of vampire revolution. Maybe it would catch on. Maybe it wouldn't.

Carlisle looked again Edward. Life seemed to be slipping away from him by the minute. His mother's words, again, echoed in his mind and without another moment of thinking, Carlisle whispered into Edward's ear before sinking his teeth into the most pronounced vein in his neck.

The taste of human blood spilled into Carlisle's mouth for the first time in his existence. It was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more. The Volturi were right, as were the rest of the roamers he'd met along the way.

Fresh, warm blood covered his tongue and he drank it with such enthusiasm that he almost forgot the task at hand.

Edward.

Carlisle, with much difficulty, pulled himself back, feeling stronger, yet more vulnerable than ever.

The inside of his mouth was still full of the rich, mouthwatering taste that would forever be engrained in his mind. There was nothing in the world like it, and he contemplated continuing to feed, knowing Edward was scheduled to die from his disease anyway.

_No_, he told himself, _don't do it_.

Carlisle stood up and backed painfully away from Edward, who began to writhe in agony. The moment of his own transformation began to play in his head, and he knew that he had to remove the young man from where they were.

He looked around the vacant hospital and quickly took Edward from hospital bed, carrying him away to his home only a few miles away to undergo the remainder of the transformation.

Edward's eyes flickered open and he recognized Dr. Cullen at the foot of the bed. He sat quietly with his hands folded together and his head facing downward as if he was either waiting quietly for something, or praying.

"Where am I?" Edward asked, catching Carlisle off guard.

He stood up sharply and stared toward the young man. The former pale, clammy complexion had been traded with one that looked as steady as a block of flawless marble. His eyes were red, but he looked healthy and strong.

Carlisle could tell that Edward was getting used to his new body as he moved his arms and fingers in such a way that it looked like he'd never used them before.

"I'm Dr. Cullen," Carlisle started, "Your mother asked me to save you."

Edward looked confused, "Is she…?"

Carlisle looked down, not wanting to answer the question. In Edward's forty-eight hours or so of being dead to the world during the transformation, Elizabeth Masen had passed away.

"She has unfortunately passed on."

Edward stared at the doctor, and then looked around the room. He ran his hands along his jawlines before sitting up. The fact that it caused him no discomfort made his curiosity levels raise.

"What type of medicine did you give me?" he asked.

Carlisle didn't know how Edward would physically react to his new and improved abilities to move. He looked concerned and hesitant.

"What?" Edward asked, "Why are you looking at me like you're scared of me?"

"I'm not scared of you, Edward."

"You know my name?"

"Your mother was my patient. She sent me to you in hopes that I could heal you of the Spanish Influenza."

A silence lingered between the two men before Edward broke it.

"How did you fix me? I mean, I feel stronger than I ever have in my entire life. Did you say Mom's dead?"

Carlisle knew everything was happening fast for Edward. He remained sympathetic but didn't quite know how to tell him the truth.

"Your mother, yes," Carlisle said, knowing he was able to answer that one with certainty.

"Why didn't you give her the meds you gave me?"

"It's not that simple."

Edward looked around the room before catching his reflection in a mirror that hung across the way. His jaw dropped and he made his way across the room rapidly.

The use of his own legs surprised him and Edward looked down to make sure his feet were still on the ground. He turned to face Carlisle with a look of shock and surprise before looking back into the mirror.

"What…" he said, not knowing what to ask. He studied his facial features and right away noticed his eyes. That was the time Edward was most frightened. He was frightened by his own dreadful stare.

"What's wrong with me?" he asked, spinning around to face Carlisle, "What's going on?"

"You'll have to believe me on what I'm going to tell you, Edward."

"Tell me," he pleaded with urgency, "I'm different. I'm not the same as I was. My eyes, they're red. What's happening?" His hand suddenly clung to his throat, "I'm burning."

"It's the thirst, you're not in danger," Carlisle explained.

"Thirst? Thirst for what?"

"Blood," Carlisle said boldly, "What you're craving is blood. I did, too. I still do. It's just easier for me now."

"_What_ are you trying to say?" Edward demanded with a noticeable shake in his voice.

"You're immortal now. It was the only way I could save you. Your mother was on her deathbed and didn't want you to die."

"What do you mean immortal?"

"You're not human anymore."

Edward laughed, but stopped quickly at Carlisle's serious expression. He tried to do as he did before, moving rapidly around the room. The reality of the situation still seemed abstract and impossible to him, though his brain was catching up.

He looked in the mirror again, then back to Carlisle. "Do you… do you kill people?"

"No," Carlisle answered right away, "I've never killed someone in my life. Ever."

Edward looked at him skeptically, though found it quite easy to believe him. He turned around again, unable to help himself from staring at his new reflection. A sigh left his mouth and he seemed to discover at that moment, that he wasn't breathing.

He placed his hands over his ribs and turned to Carlisle, "I'm not breathing. I haven't been this whole time, not really, anyway."

"I know," he said with a nod, "You won't have to do that anymore."

Edward was astonished. He wanted to call the doctor's bluff and accuse him of playing the world's biggest, cruelest joke him, but he knew it wasn't so. He knew he wasn't what he used to be. He considered that maybe he'd gone to Hell, but quickly thought of a different scenario as the word 'blood' lingered in his mind.

"You're a vampire," Edward said without a hint of question in his voice.

Carlisle didn't say anything. He looked away, having dismissed the term as part of his identity.

"You are, aren't you? Blood. You drink blood. How do you drink blood if you don't kill humans?"

"Animals," Carlisle confessed immediately. He decided not to lie, even in the most miniscule of way. "I live off the blood of animals."

"Animals," Edward said to himself.

"I never asked for this life, but I've made the best of it. I hated it at first, I must admit. I thought there was nothing I could become except for a blood-lusting monster."

The term blood-lusting made Edward reactively grab his own throat again.

"I'll take you to the woods to hunt. We aren't far, that's why I live out here by myself."

"Do you still hate it?" he asked, now almost gasping from the mental recognition of the feeling.

"I don't hate it, no," Carlisle said, "I don't really recognize the smell of human blood anymore. When I was changed in 1663, I-"

"1663?" Edward asked, "The year 1663?"

"I've been alive for almost three hundred years, Edward."

His mouth dropped open again and he was at a loss for words. The contemplation that he could be dreaming crossed his mind, though he dismissed the fact and knew that regardless of whether this was some fictional dream or reality, he had to consume blood.

"Take me to where the animals are," Edward said.

Carlisle nodded, "I'll show you how to hunt, but I'm sure it will come naturally for you. That's how it happened for me."

"Once this feeling is gone in my throat," he went on, "I have questions I need to ask you."

Carlisle nodded in agreement, wanting to warn the newborn vampire that the feeling would not soon subside. Instead he kept his mouth shut and took Edward out into the forest to hunt.


	13. Talents

**Chapter 12**

Only a small amount of time went on before Carlisle and Edward began to bond. They found that their conversations flowed easily with one another, and it aided in Edward's transition to the eternal life.

Carlisle told Edward of his travels and the way he'd lived his life prior to his move to Chicago. He detailed his days with the Volturi, spoke briefly of his origins and how he'd pursued the life of a doctor.

He then went on to give Edward all of the information he'd wished he'd been given during his newborn days. Carlisle explained that he would no longer sleep, he would stay forever frozen as he was, that human food was no longer desirable, and that his skin would sparkle when hit by the sunlight.

For a while Edward remained skeptical, though his trust grew rapidly for Carlisle. He began to open up about his human life once he felt less vulnerable. He discussed the bonds he'd had with his mother, and that he had only been three months past seventeen at the time Carlisle had changed him.

The two men shared similar moral values, which strengthened their bonds almost immediately. Edward admired Carlisle's will power, and due to the difficult nature of controlling his own thirst, respected him a great deal for resisting for centuries.

"Who is Esme Platt?" Edward asked.

Carlisle sat across from him, listening to the radio at the kitchen table that stood in the home as a piece of decorative furniture.

"What?" he asked, a little shocked, "Did I mention…" His voice trailed off and his eyes squinted slightly as he thought.

"No, you didn't say anything about her," Edward said.

"Did you know her?" Carlisle asked.

Edward stared at him and said, "Think of a number in your head."

"What?"

"I think I just figured something out, just think of a number but don't say it out loud."

Carlisle was confused but did as he asked.

"Thirty-eight," Edward said.

Carlisle's face twisted in even more confusion. He began to think a series of numbers.

"Twelve, nine-nine, twenty-three, four, two…" Edward said.

"What are you doing?" Carlisle asked him, before a smile formed on his face, "Are you, can you read my mind?"

Edward chuckled, defining the first true smile since his transformation, "I think so."

Carlisle stared at him and continued to grin, glad to see Edward in good spirits. "How are you doing that?"

"I really don't know," Edward admitted, "I just, I thought you said something and then I realized you hadn't. When I brought up that woman's name and you recognized it, I knew I wasn't going crazy."

Carlisle's mind drifted briefly back to Esme before he tried to defer his thoughts in a different direction.

"She was a patient of yours. Esme," Edward said, "When you worked in Ohio. "

"Yeah," he said with a nod.

Edward sat back in his chair and looked around the room.

"The Volturi had members of their coven who were reborn with special gifts," Carlisle explained.

"Yeah, you said their leader could read your thoughts by touching your hand?"

Carlisle nodded, "And Jane could inflict pain on people. Her brother Alec could strip away your senses. Marcus could see the true nature of relationships."

"They sound fascinating," Edward said.

Carlisle nodded but said nothing more of his Italian friends.

"Why'd you leave there?"

"Different views on morality," Carlisle explained, "I couldn't take living their lifestyle anymore. I wasn't killing anyone for food the way they were, but I wasn't stopping it either. I had to get away."

Edward nodded, "Are there others like us?"

Carlisle smiled at the connection he'd used to group them as a pair, "You mean as far as feeding goes?"

"Yes."

"I haven't come across any yet. If I knew of more people with the same plans, I would have surely befriended them. I have made many friends along the way, but it's hard to keep company with those who are constantly questioning your unwillingness to live off of human blood."

"I can imagine," Edward said with a nod, "I'm guessing it's not an easy task."

Carlisle shook his head, "No. It's not. That's why I'd like to keep you away from the public for a while."

Edward eyed the floor, "What if I gave in? What if I accidentally kill somebody? I don't want to, but I can sense how strong the burning is, even though we just ate."

Carlisle knew he was wondering if he would be judgmental, or leave him all together. He shrugged, "Then maybe we would just pack up and go elsewhere to take the attention off of us."

"That's it?"

"What else were you expecting me to say?"

"I don't know. I just feel like you're so righteous and noble. If I slip up," he changed his sentence midway, "If there was a human hiking right out there, I'd rip them to pieces. I know I would. I can feel that I would. It's not because I want to, it's hard to explain."

"I know the feeling," Carlisle explained, "I felt that way when I was newly brought into this life. It was a constant struggle; a battle for morals versus what we were designed to do."

"What are we designed to do?" Edward asked.

He sighed, "Kill."

Edward sucked his teeth and looked down.

"But that doesn't mean we have to kill humans. You'll learn to resist. You'll learn to harness the thirst as I did. If you slip up, we'll handle it. It won't define who you are."

Edward felt a sense of confidence in Carlisle's words. The battle he played in his mind about whether or not he would succeed in this new life began to favor the positive side.

For starters, he trusted Carlisle and he could see in his thoughts that he was a good, true at heart person. His words matched what he was feeling inside and his life's choices had led him to become a true contributor to society.

Edward was confident he could follow in his footsteps. He wanted to carry on the rest of his days in a similar fashion.

Carlisle wanted to dig deeper into Edward's mind reading abilities. He wished there was some way he could test it out on humans without putting their lives in danger, though Carlisle knew this day would come eventually.

"I wonder that too," Edward said with a nod.

"Wonder what?"

"If this gift will work on humans, or other vampires."

Carlisle laughed, "I'm going to have to get used to this mind reading thing."

Edward snickered, "So am I. For the record, I'm not meaning to be rude or intrusive. It's almost like you're saying the words out loud."

"I'm not taking offense to it. I just hope you won't if you ever disagree with something that crosses my mind." They both laughed before a silence fell over them.

Carlisle turned up the radio and he and Edward began to listen to a baseball game that was being played in the city.

The questions that surrounded Edward's initial transformation had long since left Carlisle.

As time went by, he grew to greatly enjoy Edward's company. The two of them had become great friends and the companionship was mutually appreciated.

Edward, while finding lots of difficulty in terms of feeding, became content with the idea that he was a vampire. He looked up to Carlisle and recognized the true warmth that lingered inside of the man.

The more he got to know him, the more he began to view him as a sort of father figure and often turned to him for guidance on their travels. Thanks to Carlisle's enthusiasm, it wasn't long before Edward had gained and maintained a true hold on his thirst and was able to move in and out of the cities with Carlisle.

They each filled a void in each other's lives. Edward finally found the warmth and guidance needed in a father. Carlisle no longer traveled alone, and gained the companionship in Edward.

His willingness to accept the animal-blood diet made Carlisle feel accomplished, as he often did in the work place.

For several more years they resided in Illinois until Carlisle felt as though Edward's restraint was high enough to make a long journey.

He returned home after a shift at the hospital and Edward knew right away what he was planning to say.

"We're moving." He stated.

"I wanted to talk to you about that," Carlisle admitted, "As I've told you, I have to move around a lot in order to keep my identity safe. I don't age, and you won't either. I think you're capable now of traveling across the country. What do you think?"

Edward looked around at the walls of their home, "I'm going to miss this place." It was his version of a confirmation.

Carlisle grinned; glad he wouldn't have to pull teeth to get Edward to leave. The two of them had resided there since Edward's transformation three years earlier. There was a higher source of sentimental value that hung in the atmosphere, though Carlisle knew they had to go.

Edward agreed with no fight. The two of them had a long discussion about where to potentially move to.

Carlisle removed a map of the country from a drawer and showed Edward a series of locations that he'd circled.

"These were some of the areas I've been thinking about," Carlisle told him, "A highly wooded area is desirable. It's hard sometimes for me to maneuver around the big cities."

Edward's eyes scanned the map and he pointed toward the top of the country, "Wisconsin you have circled."

"Yes." Carlisle nodded, "There's a small town there that I crossed through once on my travels. It may be far different from what I remember but it was quiet and quite nice if you ask me."

"What's the name of it?"

"Ashland."

Edward stared at the map and tapped it with his finger. He then gave a nod and shrugged, "Okay."

Carlisle grinned, "We'll need a back story. I was thinking we could say you're my nephew."

"Well, we do have the same color eyes," Edward said with a chuckle.

Carlisle laughed, "I suppose that will work for now, then."

Edward agreed, "How long will it take us to get there, and when are we leaving?"

"I have to let the hospital know I'll be leaving," Carlisle said, "And I like to give them a grace period so they won't struggle. I'd give it two to three weeks."

"Two to three weeks," Edward said with a nod, "Alright. Then we'll be out of her for good." There was a sadness that hung in his voice. "I may take a stroll through my old neighborhood, if that's okay."

Carlisle nodded, "Do whatever you need to do, Edward." He knew that his friend would need the same type of closure he got when leaving his father and the town he grew up in.

"Thank you," Edward said with a nod. He took in a deep breath before thanking him again.


	14. Fate

**Chapter 13**

_1921 Ashland, Wisconsin_

The plan to move had gone as smoothly as expected. Carlisle had finished out three weeks at the hospital in Chicago before he and Edward had made their way to Ashland, Wisconsin.

They easily played off the roles they'd discussed as uncle and nephew, and no one questioned it.

Carlisle almost immediately took a job at the hospital there and was admired through his credentials and experience.

Other members of the hospital there didn't hesitate to ask him questions, and were overly friendly. They made him feel at home, and he appreciated it deeply. He only wished he could be friendlier, though knew it wouldn't be to his advantage if he did.

Life was good for Carlisle and Edward. Carlisle had his work and Edward began his studies, initially posing as a senior in school where he passed his classes with flying colors. It was his intent to go to college once the courses began in the fall.

Edward had his hunting under wraps and was never a danger to the members of their confined society. He charmed the women of all ages and knew it, though no one ever held his interested past a moment or two.

Carlisle warned him about getting too close to people, though let him have the freedom he so rightfully deserved. He knew Edward had a good head on his shoulders and so he didn't worry much.

Night had fallen over Ashland and Edward knew Carlisle was getting ready for his shift at the hospital.

"Be careful," Edward said jokingly as Carlisle fixed the collar on his shirt.

He laughed and gave a halfhearted "Thank you" before heading out the door.

The night had started off like any other. Carlisle made his way to the hospital and had his fair share of patients. None of them, that night, were critically ill or on the brink of death. All he had on his plate were routine injuries and quick fixes, along with a few patients of extended stay that were well on their way to recovery.

Family members of the ill thanked him for his services as he bounced from room to room doing his job. The company that Edward brought him had brightened his spirits all together, and Carlisle's demeanor had changed.

As much as he enjoyed his work, he now didn't mind going home, either, and as his shift was about to end, he had a good feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Carlisle was about to remove his lab coat when a nurse came running up to him, "Come quick! A woman has fallen from a cliff. She's near dead!"

He hurried to where the nurse led him, letting his carefree attitude spill out of his body. Carlisle looked down at the woman in the hospital bed.

"She's not breathing," the nurse said frantically.

Carlisle refocused on the woman before him and he took in a deep breath. Her scent was unforgettable and he knew right away who the battered person before him was. It was the young woman who he was unable to completely forget; the beautiful girl with the vivacious spirit and the broken leg. The patient was Esme Platt.

He stared down at woman's body with a heavy heart. When he'd parted ways with Esme ten years earlier, he thought for sure she would have been her own success story and lived on to have her happy ending.

What Carlisle was witnessing was anything but happy. It was a tragedy.

"Is she dead?" the nurse asked.

"How did this happen?" Carlisle asked.

"She fell off a cliff," the woman repeated, "Well, jumped actually."

He spun around to face her, obviously horrified, "Jumped?"

"It was a suicide attempt, we believe."

Carlisle felt like his world was crashing down on him. For the last ten years, he'd had thoughts of Esme occasionally. He'd pictured her growing up and becoming a teacher, and having children of her own with the man of choosing as her husband. He dreamed of her happiness.

He'd imagined her as always smiling and free as the day he met her. He knew she did not deserve this as the ending to her story. Esme was far too pure and good and wholesome to exit her time in such a tragic fashion.

Carlisle lied to nurse, as he took her vitals, all the while knowing Esme's heart was still beating. It reminded him of how her heart rate picked up the time he smiled at her.

The memory triggered both happiness and sadness at once. This was the first time he'd felt completely overwhelmed by the condition of a patient.

"She's dead," he told the nurse, "Her heart is not beating." He shook his head and found it easy to portray his sadness, though he knew she was not dead; not yet anyway.

"I'll see it that she gets to the morgue," Carlisle said. He shook his head.

"So tragic," the nurse said, recognizing the sorrow in his eyes.

"It is," he said with a nod.

The nurse saw that her presence was beginning to become a burden for him, and so she excused herself from the room with a parting question. "You'll escort the body down?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered.

Without another word, the nurse was gone and Carlisle was left with the body of the only human that had impacted him nearly three hundred years.

If it were possible, he would have wept. Esme was too good for this to happen to. She was a bright, honest, wholesome woman.

Carlisle bowed his head above her, sensing her heart rate was beginning to drop.

_It's now or never_, he thought to himself, continuing to stare mournfully at Esme's injury-ridden body.

He took a look over his shoulder and saw no one nearby. The nurse was gone and he would have known if someone else had come into the area.

Carlisle took another look at Esme thinking despite the bruises and scrapes that decorated her; she looked like nothing shy of an angel. He couldn't let her go this way, and so with a final look over his shoulder, Carlisle pressed his mouth against her neck and bit down.

Again, his will power weakened with the taste of Esme's blood as his poured into his mouth. The stopping power he possessed kicked in a little sooner than it had with Edward, as he repeatedly thought to himself over and over, _don't kill her; don't kill her; don't kill her._

Carlisle spring up from where he'd latched on to her neck and saw the venom begin to play its roll in changing Esme from a fragile human woman to an indestructible immortal.

He picked her up carefully, carrying her out of the hospital so she was cradled to his body. At that moment, he realized he'd never felt so protective over anyone or anything else, Edward included.

Carlisle wanted to bring Esme to where it was safe and comfortable. He knew she was probably in the middle of experience the anguish both and Edward had during their transformations.

_It'll all be over soon_, he thought, whipping away to the outskirts of town to the house he shared with Edward.

When he arrived, Edward opened the door before he could knock.

"What's going on? I've heard your thoughts for miles."

"I have to get her inside," Carlisle said.

Edward looked at the woman in Carlisle's arms and looked up at him, "Is this her?"

He didn't find the time to answer and quickly pushed passed him into the house.

Edward followed, slamming the door behind him. It his short years of knowing Carlisle, Edward had never seen him this frantic. He was always level headed and saw the reason in everything. The image of him, for the first time, losing his composure made Edward extremely uneasy.

Carlisle's thoughts were practically screaming as he prayed that the woman, Esme, would be alright and make it through the transformation.

There was also a part of him that prayed with the same enthusiasm that she wouldn't hate him upon her awakening.

Edward could see that her approval meant the world to him, and he was currently worried that she was experiencing the same level of pain that he had from the spread of the venom.

He could see that, despite the briefness of their encounter in the past, Carlisle felt very deeply for Esme. Every thought that crossed his mind revolved around her well-being.

"She _is_ in pain," Edward told Carlisle, as he tucked her neatly beneath the blankets of one of the beds in the house, "But she's okay. She's handling it quite well."

Carlisle hadn't even thought of using Edward's talent to dig into Esme's mind.

"What is she thinking?" he asked eagerly.

"She's definitely feeling the burning. It hurts, but she's alright. She's wondering about an afterlife and if she's going to Hell."

Carlisle pressed his eyebrows together and shook his head, "That could never be possible." His eyes met Edward's for a moment before they both looked away.

"I remember thinking the same types of things, even though I halfheartedly remembered you biting me."

"She was unconscious," Carlisle said, "Almost at the brink of death. She jumped off a cliff."

"Is this Esme; the woman who passes through your thoughts every now and again?"

He didn't have to answer. Edward already knew it was her. Carlisle didn't even have to use her name in his thoughts for him to know.

"Yes," Carlisle told him, "I found her completely by chance. The nurse called me in at the end of my shift saying a young woman had tried to commit suicide. They wanted me to try to save her. I couldn't. Her heart rate was nearly nonexistent but it was there just enough for me to change her."

"How many people have you changed?" Edward asked for the first time.

"Just the two of you." His eyes drifted back to Esme and he couldn't help but think of how tragic it was to waste such a wonderful life, "And it was only because you were dying. If you weren't, I would never be selfish enough to do something like this."

"Did you ever consider changing Esme the first time you met her?" Edward asked. He looked over at the woman who laid still with her eyes closed.

"No," Carlisle said, shaking his head, "Never." He stared down at Esme, "I would never wish this upon either of you. I just couldn't bear the thought of your mother's pain and the tragic way your life was ending. And Esme…" he shook his head.

"What I knew of her," he went on, "was nothing like the ending that was picked out as her fate. There has to be more for someone like this."

Edward nodded, "From what I can tell, she's going to be alright Carlisle."

"I hope so," he said, "I hope she's like you. You've filled a void in my life. I spent three hundred years traveling alone, aside from the twenty or so I spent with The Volturi. Don't get me wrong, they were remarkable in their own right, but not the best company to keep."

"I'm sure she'll turn out as extraordinary as you remember her."

"I just want her to be healthy and alive," Carlisle said, "If we count as being both of those things."

"Healthy," Edward said, "I'd say so."

Carlisle took his lack of a comment about the 'alive' part of his statement to mean that he wasn't totally sure about that aspect their current status.

"Well, healthy compared to what I was just before the change," Edward added.

_I wonder what made her want to end her life_, Carlisle thought. He stared intently at Esme and knew Edward had read his thoughts from the way he stared in his direction. Carlisle assumed it was the deep nature of his wandering mind that kept Edward from responding.

The two of them sat at Esme's bed side for hours, each of them taking in the dawn of the next day in the quiet room.

Sunrays trickled in through the windows, though the day quickly gave way to an overcast sky and pleather of clouds.

Edward looked at Carlisle and realized he had no intentions of moving until Esme awoke. He sat in a similar position that he remembered seeing him in when he came out of his own venom-induced half slumber.

He felt as though he was more awake than Esme currently was. His weakened state at the time, however, made the experience extremely hazy and confusing. Like Esme, he contemplated the thoughts of a forever damned afterlife from the painful burning that coincided with the change.

The day turned into night and Carlisle hadn't moved from where he sat. Edward knew it was for the fear of Esme waking up alone, to no one, in the same manner he had. He had been scared and alone with a whole new look at the world at his fingertips that was guided by murder and blood.

In Carlisle's own words, it was a nightmare brought to life. He couldn't allow Esme to experience that; not even for a second.

"I think I'd better hunt," Edward said finally. He'd let the burning sensation linger longer than normal in an attempt to stay by his friend.

"Of course," Carlisle said with a nod, "Don't feel obligated to stay here just because I am."

"Will you be alright for an hour?"

"I'll be fine. I just don't want her to wake with no one here."

Edward nodded, "I'll be back."

Carlisle nodded back as Edward left the room. He returned his focus on Esme and continued to wait patiently by her side.

He watched as all of her injuries began to fade from her body. It was more profound in Esme than in Edward. Carlisle leaned forward, taking in everything that was happening and suddenly became more optimistic.

Esme was beginning to look revived and full of life again, minus the human rosy color that had once lingered in her complexion.

Carlisle began to pray. He didn't know if it helped or not, but he figured it couldn't hurt. He prayed for Esme's well-being, and that she would find this second chance at life to be fulfilling.

Above all else, he prayed that she not be punished in the afterlife for his selfish actions of trying to keep her. He repeated over and over again that she was now his responsibility, and should she commit any sins, that he be blamed for them.

He asked for forgiveness on her behalf for the way her human life had ended. Carlisle pleaded for mercy be placed on her soul and truly hoped what he was saying would be heard.

The next day passed by as quickly as the one before it. Night soon fell and Carlisle continued to wait. The anxiety he felt as he waited for Esme to awake was overwhelming.

Carlisle needed to know the answers to his questions. Would she hate him? Would she accept the idea of their animal consuming lifestyle? Would she be able to control her thirst for blood? Would she accept the fact that she was a vampire?

The mystery of it all was plaguing his mind and almost making him feel physically ill. He wanted to badly to know she was alright, and upon her awakening he would do whatever it took to make her face glow in the same way it did when he first met her.

Edward continued to pop in and out of the room, spending hours at a time with Carlisle before wandering around the house to entertain himself with programs on the radio, or reading material.

He couldn't help but focus in on Carlisle's thoughts as the anticipation of it all began to really take its toll on him.

Another couple of hours went by before Edward stormed through the bedroom door and stood next to Carlisle.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked him, strongly sensing he knew something.

"She's about to wake up," Edward said in a whisper, "Or, I think she is."

The two of them sat looking on with wondering eyes at the woman who had yet to move. She laid silently with such grace and innocence that it almost seemed wrong to wake her from such a peaceful looking state.

At her first stir, Edward saw Carlisle's fingers tense up around the wooden bedframe. Edward sensed his own hands were balled up in anticipation and felt compelled to witness Esme's awakening into her new life.

...

The burning had finally passed and Esme feared the worst. She wondered if she'd walked blindly down endless streets of fire to where she would now be faced her eternal sentencing.

There was no mistaking the fire. Esme was all but certain that she would be damned for the course of actions that took place throughout her life, including the final leap of faith off of the cliff.

Her eyes flickered open and she was frightened to the core. She did not want to come face to face with the reality that she might very well be in Hell. She could not take the pain and the burning for all of eternity.

Esme looked up toward what appeared to be a ceiling. Her eyes scanned the tops of the room, which looked far too normal. She then gazed at the walls and realized there was a clean, white bed sheer that was pulled up toward her chin.

Confusion crossed her mind and then she looked toward the end of the bed and saw him.

Everything else in the room disappeared and Esme's eyes fixed on the man she knew as Dr. Cullen. He was exactly as she remembered; handsome, flawless and everything she would have dreamed for in a man. There was one difference, and that was in his facial expression.

He looked worried and anxious. He wasn't smiling like he had been throughout their first meeting at the hospital in Columbus.

_This can't be Hell_, Esme thought. She continued to stare at him in disbelief and then remembered the burning. _Could it? No_, she quickly dismissed the thought,_ well maybe a type of Hell she didn't know existed. He's here but he can't see me, or hear me. I'll be tortured forever by being able to look at him, but I'll never be able speak with him or interact with him in anyway. That has to be it._

Esme had her mind set that she was some type of mental torture chamber. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, still, and hadn't realized there was another man in the room until he chuckled.

He, too, was handsome and had similar features to Dr. Cullen.

_A brother?_ She thought. _Probably; they have the same eyes. I've never seen anyone else with eyes like theirs before._

Her eyes drifted back to the man she had thought and fantasized about, and compared every other man to in her life. Esme couldn't process that he was sitting just a few feet away from her.

"Esme." He finally spoke, and his eyes locked on hers.

She felt a wave of shock hit her like a truck. Like the first time speaking with him, she felt paralyzed and awe struck at the smooth, crisp tone of his voice. Just one word had put her into a type of trance that she couldn't get herself out of.

The other man laughed again and he turned his attention to Dr. Cullen.

"She remembers you," he said with the same type of mesmerizing voice.

Esme finally found it in her to speak, "Dr. Cullen?"


	15. Awakening

_"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." - Semisonic_

**Chapter 14**

Carlisle felt a number of things when she spoke his name. The fact that she remembered him seemed to make every struggle he'd experienced in life to be worth it. He'd thought of her on occasion since meeting her ten years before, though now he looked at her in a way he couldn't describe.

"Am I in Heaven?" Esme asked him. She let her hands drift to her face, seeming to be startled by the foreign feel of her own skin.

Carlisle shook his head, "No; not exactly." A wave of guilt passed over him, knowing he had to tell this beautiful woman what he had turned her into.

He looked at her face as it lit up, leaving confusion behind for a moment to make room for a smile. She studied her arms and hands, as Edward had, then seemed hesitant to make the move to stand up.

"It's okay," he told her, "You can stand up. You just might have to be-"

Esme stood up abruptly and looked amazed at how fast her hand had torn the covers off. She was on her feet before she could process what had happened.

Edward laughed again and Carlisle gave him a soft, disapproving look. "I know," he said apologetically, "I'm sorry. I just remember this moment when I went through it."

"Are you sure this isn't Heaven?" Esme asked them, still smiling, "How did I get here? The last thing I remember…"

She stopped mid-sentence and the happy nature of her appearance drained momentarily.

Carlisle knew she was reliving her last, painful experience as a human and he decided to get into what had happened. "Esme, I was working at the hospital here in Ashland," he explained, "Two nights ago, they called me to your bed side to try to save you. They'd said you had an accident."

Her eyes lifted to meet his, and shame crossed through her. She saw empathy in the other man's eyes as if he could see into her soul.

"You were near death," he explained, "None of the medication at the hospital could have saved you." He shook his head and took a deep breath.

Esme could see he was having a hard time explaining what was going on. It seemed to pain him deeply.

"I felt like I was on fire," she said to him, "Was that just lingering pain from my injuries?"

Carlisle looked at Edward for a moment, then back to Esme, "No," he shook his head.

Fear crossed her face, "Did I cross through one of the layers of Hell?"

"No," he said right away, "No. It's nothing like that. You're still on earth. You're still here."

He could see she was confused and that nothing he said was making much sense. Carlisle wanted desperately to give her all the answers right then and there so she would no longer be faced with a painful alternative hypothesis.

_Not that the truth will be much better_, he thought.

"How can that be?" Esme asked him, "I, I jumped off a cliff. It must have been over a hundred feet high. There's no way I could have lived." She looked down at her perfectly sculpted body.

"There's one way," Edward spoke.

Esme shifted her eyes between the two of them, sensing neither of them wanted to be the one to tell her whatever it was they were about to.

"Do you feel a burning sensation in your throat?" Carlisle asked. He remembered that was how he broke the news to Edward, who happened to come to the conclusion on his own. It kept Carlisle from having to say the word.

Esme thought for a moment and then immediately recognized it. There was a strong, distinct burning that brought back remnants of the fire.

"Yes," she said. Both of her hands moved to cover her throat, "What is it?"

Carlisle looked over at Edward, who he could tell was trying to hide back a smile.

"That's, well," he thought of how to word it, "That's your thirst."

"Thirst?"

Carlisle nodded, "Edward and I, we both experience it too."

"It gets easier to control," Edward said.

Carlisle motioned his hand in his direction, "I apologize; this is Edward. And my first name is-"

"Carlisle," she said before he could.

Edward snickered and smirked, then nodded in an approving type of way.

"Are you brothers?"

"I'm his nephew," Edward said, then realized Carlisle didn't want to play up their lie with Esme, "Well, that's what we tell people here."

"Back to your thirst," Carlisle went on.

Esme was drawn back to the burning in the back of her throat. She nodded, "You feel it to?"

They both nodded back at her.

"Is there a way to get rid of it?"

"Yes," Carlisle explained, "Temporarily, anyway."

"So this is going to be permanent?" she asked.

"It fades over time," Edward explained, "But it's always there. And when you hunt, it goes away instantly for a short while."

Esme laughed at the word, "Hunt? Me, hunt? I wouldn't know the first thing about how to hunt."

Edward laughed as she did, quickly realizing she was thinking of traditional hunting as human men did with guns or bows and arrows.

"I could learn though." Her eyes moved to Carlisle's in search of approval.

He smiled at her and Edward laughed again.

Esme looked to Edward self-consciously, sensing he was laughing at something she did. She began to wonder if she was saying things aloud and didn't even realize it.

When Carlisle's smile faded, she felt a wave of disappointment.

_He has such perfect teeth_, Esme thought to herself.

"Hunting is a little different for us," Carlisle explained, "It's much different."

"How so?" Esme asked, seeming intrigued.

"Well," he hesitated.

Edward decided to take the lead. He figured if Esme thought anyone was crazy, it might as well be him and not Carlisle. "We use our bare hands," he explained, "Oh, and our teeth of course."

Esme laughed again and saw Edward grin, then noticed the serious look on Carlisle's face. The burning rose up in her throat with great force again.

"I don't understand," she said to them.

"What you're feeling is a thirst for blood," Carlisle told her, deciding she needed to know. He hated what he would say next, and hoped that she could forgive him, "Esme, I…" he ran a hand through his hair, "You were so close to death and I knew there was nothing else that could save you."

Esme sensed his struggle and urged him on with a gentle acceptance that rang in her voice, "Tell me."

He took in a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, "I couldn't bear the thought of having you lose your life so I did the only thing that would save you."

"You'll only need to consume blood," Edward told her, "There's nothing else that will satisfy that feeling in the back of your throat. You'll need it to live."

Carlisle knew he was trying to hint to her what was going on so she would come to her own conclusions.

"Blood," she said softly, "I'll live off blood?"

Esme, like thousands of people around the world, had heard stories of witches and vampires and monsters. No one gave the stories a second thought. They were fun to tell late at night or around fires. Esme remembered such stories being told by some of the local kids when she was growing up.

Her eyes fixed again on her strong, perfect body. She noticed her skin was a shade of white that she had never seen before. It was immaculate and pale. If there was one thing she knew for sure, it was that she was not the same as she was before she jumped off that cliff.

"What am I?" she finally asked.

"You've thought it," Edward told her, "The thought has just crossed your mind."

"What?" she asked surprised.

"The word entered your mind just a moment ago."

"Witch?"

He shook his head, "The one right after witch."

Esme had no idea how Edward could tell what word came after witch in her mind. She assumed that her thoughts could only be heading in one direction, and that's how he'd been able to narrow it down.

_Blood_, she thought,_ vampires._

"That's the one," Edward said with a nod, "Just say it out loud."

Esme continued to stare at him in disbelief, now wondering if she was dreaming.

Carlisle's eyes moved from Edward to Esme. He knew from their short exchanges of words that the truth had crossed through Esme's mind.

She hesitated, not wanting to sound foolish. "Vampires? Are you…?"

Edward nodded and Carlisle gave one subtle nod. His eyes met her apologetically.

Esme wanted to laugh and tell both of them that she wasn't so easily fooled, but she couldn't. She knew what they were saying was true. She felt it. Her body was brand new, she had no evidence of ever being in the accident she'd caused and the burning sensation was getting stronger in her throat.

_Do they kill people?_ The question rang through her mind several times, but she didn't feel comfortable asking. She looked at Carlisle and knew that he wasn't capable of hurting anyone. The soft nature of his eyes gave away how _good_ he truly was.

"We hunt animals," Carlisle told her, "We drink the blood of animals to survive. We don't ever take blood from human beings."

Esme knew there had to be an alternative, and she was pleased to hear him speak the words. She silently cursed herself for even wondering if he was capable of murder.

"Esme," Carlisle went on, "I'm very, very sorry for doing this to you. If there was another way, I would have done it. You deserve better than this, and I deeply apologize for not giving you the choice."

Esme studied his genuine somber expression and felt the pain that plagued his voice. Everything she felt for him during their first encounter a decade before washed over her and she felt overly flattered by his interest in her well-being.

"It's okay," she told him softly.

He began to protest, shaking his head before she spoke again.

"Carlisle," she said, taking in a deep breath. It was at that moment that she realized she wasn't breathing. Her face twisted in confusion.

"We don't have to breath," Edward said, answering the question she was repeating in her mind.

"How do you keep doing that?" Esme asked him, finally, "Am I saying things out loud and I don't realize it?"

She knew after being told that she was a vampire that anything was possible.

Edward laughed, "No. I have the ability to read minds." He decided to go with the same idea as when he and Carlisle first discovered the ability, "Think of a random number."

Esme narrowed her eyes at him before complying.

"Seventy-seven," Edward said.

She looked at him in astonishment before thinking of another.

"Three-hundred and twenty-three."

"Wow," she said to him, "You weren't joking."

Edward shook his head, "No. I can see everything that people think."

Esme felt like she had been robbed of the truth as a human. The whole other world existed that she had no idea about. Vampires were real. Edward could read minds. What was next?

Embarrassment suddenly washed over her, as she knew that Edward must have seen her thoughts and deep admirations for Carlisle. She tried to avoid eye contact with him, but saw his mouth form into a half smirk that he tried to suppress.

Carlisle's face still looked concerned. "Do you have any questions for us?"

"Tons," she admitted with a smile, "But I'm not sure where to begin."

Carlisle was glad to see that she didn't appear to be scared or upset. He decided to go along and tell her all of the details of their lifestyle.

Esme soaked up everything Carlisle told her. She was fascinated by the fact that they didn't have to sleep and overly absorbed by what could happen during her first hunt.

She wanted to experience the feel of the sun in her new body, and had her own image of what their skin would look like under the sun's exposure.

The most significant part of Carlisle's story, was that he had been alive for close to three hundred years. It was hard to believe, coming from the sheltered life of a human, but she knew it was true.

Her thoughts drifted back to her visions of romance and wondered if she would truly be blessed to stay with Carlisle forever.

_Would he even want me to stay with them?_ She wondered.

"Yes," Edward said, breaking her thoughts.

Esme looked at him, then couldn't help but smile, realizing he could read Carlisle's thoughts, too.

"Really?" she asked, unable to keep the one word question from pouring out of her mouth.

Edward nodded and Carlisle looked to him for some answers.

"I'll tell you later," Edward told him.

Esme suddenly felt uneasy, not wanting Carlisle to know everything that Edward now did. She didn't want to scare him off, or have him reject her.

The thought of the feeling was crushing, though Edward's happy-go-lucky expression eased her mind a bit.

"We'll live forever?" Esme asked, looking at Carlisle.

He shifted his eyes upward to meet hers and didn't look away, "Yes."

"Can _anything_ kill us?"

He nodded, "Only another one of our kind, or fire."

"Tell her about The Volturi," Edward said.

Carlisle nodded, "In time. I think you should hunt."

Esme nodded back, "Yes. Yes, okay."

The three of them headed out of the house toward a wooded area at the border of the back yard.

Carlisle turned to Esme as they'd crossed through only half of the yard. "Stay right here."

He smiled, and she felt butterflies hit the pit of her stomach. She agreed and watched as he took off toward the woods, stopping just before the thick of the trees began.

Edward stayed next to Esme and laughed for about the hundredth time that night.

"You can move that fast, too, you know."

"Run to me," Carlisle said, waving his arms in her direction.

Esme smiled from ear to ear and knew that there was nothing more in the world that she wanted to do in that moment.

"Go ahead," Edward said, sensing her anxious hesitation.

Without another thought, Esme took off, stopping by Carlisle's side in less than a second.

She looked at him and smiled, then laughed, "This is amazing."

Carlisle smiled; glad to see Esme was in good spirits. He then waved his arms to Edward, who joined them a second later.

"Come on," Carlisle said, "We'll show you how to hunt deer."


	16. A Purpose for Living

_"They'll be no comfort in the shade and the shadows, but I'd be yours if you be mine." - Mumford & Sons_

**Chapter 15**

Weeks had passed, and Esme was finally starting to feel like she was in control of her body. She was still in the process of getting use to how quickly she could move, or how strong she was, but the idea of it all had become all the more real.

Carlisle had showed her fun, entertaining ways to test her strength by having her smash boulders and push down trees. She knew he wanted to leave her without a doubt in her mind about what she was capable of and told her that the best way to understand was by doing.

Edward, too, was overly helpful and filled her in about the difficulty of his own transformation. He constantly let her know of Carlisle's good nature and generosity; often referring to him as someone he looked up to and viewed as a type of father figure.

Esme could see that bond between the two of them. As time passed, the thought of them being brothers more or less drifted from her mind and she could see how Carlisle naturally went into a mentor type of form quite naturally.

Even in their rare one-on-one time, she felt similarly about the way he interacted with her. He was patient and kind, setting examples of how do go about certain things when using her new supernatural skills.

Esme enjoyed any and all opportunities she got to spend time with Carlisle and often felt disappointment when he had to leave for a shift at the hospital.

When Carlisle was at work, Esme and Edward spent a number of hours together and it wasn't long before he began to view her as a maternal figure. It was something that he didn't realize he missed so dearly until Esme had come into their lives.

Her motherly instincts were natural, and she ended up taking similar roles around the house as his biological mother had. She picked up after him, folded his clothes and began to keep tabs on where he was going when he left the house.

Edward welcomed the bond and felt blessed to have her in his life. He also began to sense the growing connection that had been brewing in the minds of both of his family members.

From the moment Esme awoke and saw Carlisle, her thoughts revolved around him; first admirably in the way that a young girl would have her first crush, and then increasingly important and strong in the way she thought of their potential future together.

From what Edward could gather, Esme truly thought of Carlisle as her savior from a short, painful life and had never thought of another man as his equal since the first time they'd met.

Likewise, Carlisle's initial concern for Esme's well-being, as well as her appearances in his thoughts prior to their move to Ashland, were enough to convince Edward that she held a special place in his heart.

In the last month, his feelings began to grow for her, Edward knew Carlisle did not want to pressure Esme into a relationship or make her feel some type of obligation to be with him. He almost held a sense of guilt for the way he felt.

Knowing first hand from Esme's thoughts that this wasn't the case, Edward wished to guide both of them to speak their true feelings regarding one another. He knew, however, that they wouldn't be able to keep their comparable thoughts to themselves for long.

The three of them sat together in the kitchen passing the night away with random bouts of conversation.

Esme stood up, noticing some dirt on the floor from the bottom of someone's shoes and stood up to get a broom. Carlisle watched as he began to sweep the floors and pick up a few odds and ends that were out of place.

"You don't have to do that, you know," he said to her kindly.

"It's my duty," she said with a smile, "I'm the woman. It's my job."

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a look before Carlisle shook his head, "I left the dirt tracks when I walked in. I'll clean up."

"It's fine," Esme told him, shocked that he offered the help, though equally not shocked by his gentleman ways.

Carlisle stood up from where he sat and extended his hand. Esme skeptically allowed him to have the broom and watched, almost awe-struck, as he swept the place up.

When he finished, he set the broom back into a small closet before returning to where they sat.

"Thank you," Esme said to him.

He grinned at her, "I made the mess, Esme. It's not up to you clean up around here."

She smiled shyly and looked down, "I was just used to it from my previous life, I guess."

There was a silence that fell over them before Carlisle suggested that they hunt.

Esme eagerly stood up from where she'd just sat back down, but Edward declined. "I'm alright," he said, pulling a newspaper in front of him, "I'm going to stay and read. There were a few articles that caught my attention before that I never got to follow up on."

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked. Since they'd been traveling together, there were only a handful of times that the two of them hunted alone, and it was usually because Carlisle was working.

"I'm sure," Edward said with a nod. He opened the paper and began to fix his attention on one of the articles.

Carlisle shrugged and looked to Esme, "Shall we?"

She grinned, "Yeah."

The two of them waved to Edward, who gave them a smile as they headed out the front door into the night.

It wasn't long before each of them tracked down a small family of deer that were drinking from a stream not far from the house.

Esme watched Carlisle make the move first before her natural instincts lead her to where a deer crossed just in front of her in an attempt to get away.

She leapt from her crouched position, taking the deer to the ground viciously and immediately sinking her teeth easily into its neck.

Esme felt alive as the blood ran down her throat as the animal stopped moving in the darkness. She drank until she felt completely satisfied; almost forgetting that she was with Carlisle in the moment of quenching her thirst.

Her eyes scanned the darkness before she finally heard his voice and a sense of relief filled her body.

"All set?" he asked with a grin.

Esme smiled, infatuated by his smile each time he sent one her way. She nodded and looked up at him, "Carlisle, thank you."

He looked surprised, "For what?"

"For treating me this way."

Carlisle shrugged humbly, not knowing what to say.

"I know I haven't opened up about my human life," she went on, "But after I met you, and as I got older, things went downhill fast."

He nodded, sensing there was a story behind her tragic ending, and the condition he found her in, in her last human moments.

"I wanted to be a teacher," she told him, "More than anything else; it's what I wanted to be. My father wouldn't allow it. He was very set in his ways and thought all my dreams were silly for a woman to have. It was right around there when I met Charles Evenson."

Carlisle sensed a pain in her voice as she spoke his name, and thought he saw her shudder. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want."

"I have to," she said, "I want you to know everything."

"Okay," Carlisle told her.

"I married Charles to please my mother and father. They adored him and thought he was perfect. He was anything but perfect," she shook her head, "He was a horrible man; very controlling and he liked to drink."

Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment and reopened them, knowing before she spoke what the next part of her story would be.

"When he drank," Esme went on, "he would take all of his anger and frustration out from his day on me. He would strike me; he'd say awful things to me. The best day of my adult life was the day he left for the war. I finally felt free."

Carlisle felt pains shoot through his chest at the thought of someone hurting Esme. He clenched his jaw and in the moment wished he knew where Charles Evenson lived so he could show him what it felt like to be outmatched.

Esme sensed the tension in Carlisle's expression, though she continued, "I was okay for a little while, but then he returned of course and shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want a child of mine to grow up around a monster like Charles, so I ran away."

"Esme," he shook his head, "I'm sorry." There was nothing else he could think to say.

"My baby died," she told Carlisle, "That was the reason why I jumped off that cliff. I felt like there was nothing left to live for at that point. I never wanted to return to Charles. My parents didn't want what was best for me. They cared only about what was best for the family's image." She shook her head again and looked at him, "Things definitely went downhill after you saw me that day in the hospital."

Esme looked at the ground and felt her shoulders slump reactively. She took a deep breath and looked back up at Carlisle, "I never knew someone who ever matched up to you, Carlisle," she admitted, "You're the most genuine person I've ever met." A smile crossed her face, "Edward's a close second."

Carlisle forced a grin despite how upset her story had made him and continued to look her in the eye as she bared her truths to him.

"That's why I say thank you," Esme explained, "You saved me from such a mess; such a nightmare." She shook her head, reliving it all over again, "I'm so thankful for all of your kindness. No one has ever taken care of me so sincerely before. You're a dream come true to me."

Esme took in a deep breath and found it odd that she didn't feel even the least bit vulnerable speaking with him that night. She felt free and relieved to get everything off her chest that had been buried so deep.

Carlisle didn't think. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly, placing his chin on top of her head. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his torso and her hands clung to his back as if she would never let him go.

For a moment he just held her, knowing words couldn't do any justice until he found a way to properly place a sentence together in a way that made sense.

"I've been alive for three hundred years, Esme," he told her, without letting go. He sensed she had no intention of releasing him and felt gratified in the fact. "And I've never met anyone who's affected me the way you have. I feel the need to protect you and guide you. I feel like I owe you more than I could ever give you for making my life so much better than it ever was."

Esme clung to him tighter and took in his scent as her face remained locked against his chest. The words he spoke made her feel like she could fly.

"I've made your life better?" she asked.

"You have no idea," he told her. Emotion rang in his voice and Esme could feel it ripple into her as he spoke.

She sighed, feeling a connection at that moment that she never knew existed. Esme knew what Carlisle was feeling. It would have been a difficult concept to explain, but she actually felt it.

He pulled back to face her, "Thank you for understanding and not judging me for what I am."

Esme looked into his eyes adoringly, "You're beautiful, Carlisle; inside and out."

Carlisle pushed his lips against her forehead and closed his eyes at the same time she did. The feel of her skin against his lips and her acceptance of the sensual gesture made him feel more alive than he ever had been.

At that one moment, he recognized his purpose for living. It was Esme. All of the pain and unanswered questions along the way in his long, lonely life had finally come to light. The entire journey finally had meaning, and it lied in this one moment; the moment he realized what love felt like.

_Love_, Carlisle thought to himself,_ such a strong word yet so easy and natural to put beside her name. I love Esme._

He reluctantly ended the brief contact that left him star struck as his lips left her forehead. Esme's eyes opened and she wore a smile that stood out in the darkness.

For the first time ever, Esme felt a sense of trust that she never knew existed. She felt safe in Carlisle's arms and knew that everything that she felt ten years earlier was real. He was real.

Carlisle wrestled back and forth in his mind with the idea of giving Esme a real kiss, though he didn't want her to confuse his intentions and so he simply held out his hand.

Her eyes sparkled, matching her elated grin and she fervently placed her hand in his. The touch of his palm against hers, and the entwinement of their fingers sent sparks of electricity throughout Esme's body.

The euphoric feeling was so brand new that she couldn't wrap her mind around it. In some ways, she felt as though the evening was a dreamy blur, or that she was watching everything take place from above. The idea that Carlisle Cullen had kissed her forehead and wanted to hold her hand made her feel like she could do anything.

He empowered her to a level that she couldn't comprehend. All she knew was that it was amazing and she never wanted the feeling to subside.

The two of them walked hand in hand back to the house, neither speaking much along the way. Their stroll was slow and prolonged and they enjoyed the silence of each other's company.

Carlisle let his thumb dance in circles over the top of her hand. Esme reacted to the touch with quiet smiles and let her fingers latch on tighter to his.

It wasn't long before the house came into view. Carlisle again began toying with the idea of kissing her. The thoughts he was experiencing began to race and he hoped that Edward's mind reading abilities didn't stretch as far as the yard.

_It's been three hundred years_, he thought,_ I think it's time._ He then argued against himself, _it's too soon, don't rush it, take your time._ The other side of him argued back in debate. _Three hundred years; isn't that long enough?_

Carlisle took a deep breath and hadn't realized how openly uncomfortable he looked.

"Are you alright?" Esme asked him, breaking his thoughts.

He looked over at her, a bit startled, "Yeah," then answered again, "Yes."

Doubt lingered in Esme's mind. She began to wonder if he'd acted impulsively in the moment by kissing her forehead or grabbing her hand. She hoped he didn't regret it, or that he just did it as a sense of comfort as she spilled out all of the unflattering details of her past.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Carlisle nodded, "Yes. I'm fine."

Esme's self-confidence was fading. She knew it was too good to be true; that he was actually interested in her in the way she was with him. She figured he must have regretted getting so close to her and now the feeling was wearing off.

"You know," she told him, "If you don't want to hold my hand, you don't have to."

Carlisle sensed vulnerability in her voice and he realized his own insecurities about kissing her were giving her the wrong impression. "I want to," he said with a smile, "Believe me, I do."

"Alright," she said, looking down without pushing the issue.

He could see in her face that she still had doubt.

"Esme," he said.

She looked up at him, preparing for the worst. She waited, anticipating he would say that he couldn't be with her, or that timing wasn't right, something. Esme braced herself for the rejection that she felt was coming all along.

_I knew it was too good to be true_, she thought.

Carlisle smiled, attempting to bring the life back to Esme's eyes. "Do you honestly think I would, for a second, not want to hold your hand?"

She shrugged humbly, "I don't know. I told you I'm not used to all this. I don't even know what signs to look for, Carlisle. I'm confused."

"Are you confused about your feelings?" he asked.

Esme looked up at him and looked him directly in the eyes, "No. I'm not."

"Tell me what you're feeling."

She felt the butterflies return to her stomach and recognized the intensity of his voice, "I have deep feelings for you. I can't describe them, but they've always been there since the second I laid eyes on you. Every time we're together I feel like everything's perfect, the way I dreamed about when I was young."

Esme felt slightly more vulnerable now, though she wanted him to know everything. Words continued to pour from her mouth and she couldn't control it. "I love you. I really, truly love you Carlisle. You made me trust you and that added to it. I feel safe and complete when I'm with you," she paused and said the words again; "I love you."

He stood facing her in shock. He couldn't hide it. The idea that this woman loved him was almost too much for him to handle. He felt it too; the connection. And she was right, the trust they'd built in each other since her transformation had grown and intensified the feeling. Carlisle wanted to scream it out loud and let the world know what he was feeling, but he kept his composure and let a smile creep across his face.

The look must have eased Esme's worried mind because she mirrored the expression. The happiness on her face in that moment could have brought him to tears, as she waited for what she knew he was about to say back.

"I love you, too Esme. I need you in my life. You don't know how long I've waited for a day like this."

They stared at each other before she wrapped her arms and around him in a fierce hug.

He got the sense, again, that she never wanted to let him go. He could have stayed locked in that position with her for all of eternity and the world would have been good.

_Not good_, he thought,_ great. Perfect._

Carlisle's fingertips dug into her back and he knew that his life would be complete from that day forward.

Esme tilted her head back slightly so the two of their faces stood only inches apart.

He felt himself begin to take in a series of breaths in anticipation before he finally found the courage to kiss her.

Esme's arms tightened around him and Carlisle closed his eyes, feeling the softness of her lips against his. There was nothing, in all of his years that could even slightly compare to what he was experiencing.

Esme hoped the moment would never end as his lips glided smoothly against hers. His failure to part from her made her feel weak in the knees and she quickly accepted his tongue as he gently explored the inside of her mouth.

_This can't be real!_ Esme thought, fearing that if she opened her eyes she would awake from a dream.

Carlisle pulled back and Esme let her eyes drift open slowly.

"I'm sorry," he said, appearing a bit embarrassed by his bold action.

Esme ran her teeth across her bottom lip and laughed. She didn't have the proper words to speak. Everything was too perfect at the moment to ruin it with girlish, babbling words.

"What?" he asked with a grin, now feeling a bit self-conscious, himself.

She sighed and placed a hand on the side of his face, "For the last ten years I wondered what that would be like."

Carlisle grinned and looked down sheepishly before meeting her waiting eyes again.

"And I must say you have not left me disappointed Dr. Cullen."


	17. Overcoming Obstacles

**I know I've been using a lot of Mumford & Songs quotes but there are so many of their songs that I feel like could be part of a soundtrack for my stories lol. How corny am I that that's what I think of when I'm driving to work in the morning? haha Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. This story has been awesome to write so far but I do get nervous because I know everyone has their own visions of Carlisle's upbringing as well as Esme & Carlisle's relationship so, thanks for taking it as it is :)**

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_"So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light, 'cause of that gave me such a fright. But I will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright." - Mumford & Sons_

**Chapter 16**

Carlisle and Esme had begun spending more and more time together, though both of them made it a point not to leave out Edward. The three of them had truly developed into a family and everyone appeared to be content with their life in Ashland. They went about their normal routines for several months before the fall season hit and Edward decided he would like to enroll in classes at a university.

There was a part of Carlisle, however, that knew they would be forced to move once he felt Esme was comfortable being around humans, and so Edward postponed his studies.

The risk of anyone recognizing Esme, or even seeing the two of them together, was one they couldn't take. There would be no room for explanation if a woman who had supposedly died months ago was alive and well, walking the streets of Wisconsin with a man who wasn't her husband.

The three of them had, had serious talks though Carlisle sensed that Esme didn't feel completely comfortable in the human world. He'd managed to shelter her for their time so far, though during their tests when he'd guide her close to human territory, the thirst became too much for Esme to bear and she would just shake her head and run back to their home.

He knew the lack of restraint frustrated Esme, and so he continued to encourage her throughout the toughest part of a vampire's journey.

Carlisle was constantly reminding her that the fact that she could walk away was an accomplishment in itself and that most newborns didn't even have the ability to do that.

While his words always made her feel better, Esme knew that she had a long road ahead of her, in regards to her lust for blood. It was far greater than she ever anticipated and the first scent of human blood nearly tipped her over the edge.

It was Carlisle's calming antics and angelic voice that drew her out of the blood-thirsty trance; eventually saving whoever's life it was that was at stake.

"I don't know how you do it," Esme told him, shaking her head shamefully. She sat on a little stone wall not far from their house. "I can't control it."

Carlisle put his hand on the side of her face, "You will," he promised, "It took me and Edward months. I promise. It doesn't seem normal, but it is. You'll be able to do it."

"What if it takes ten years?" she asked. Her eyes stung with defeat as she looked into his.

He shrugged, "Then it takes ten years."

Esme shook her head as he continued to try cheering her up.

"I guess then I'd have to keep you up here all to myself for all that time," he shook his head with a smile, "How terrible that would be."

Esme met his eyes and knew he was teasing her, "It would be quite terrible," she said with a laugh.

"To think you'd be stuck here for a decade with a monster like me," he went on, bringing his lips to hers.

Esme began to contemplate the thought and suddenly didn't care if she ever learned to control her thirst if it meant spending forever with Carlisle at their secret home in the Ashland woods.

He parted his lips from hers, though she brought him back to her with a smile.

Carlisle could never resist when Esme prolonged their physical encounters. Coming home to kiss Esme after hours of not seeing her was the best part of his day.

"I love you," she reminded him, brushing his hair back away from his eyes, "Thank you for being patient with me with my blood craving problems."

"They're hardly problems," he told her, speaking dangerously close to her lips.

Esme closed her eyes and pressed her lips back against his, thinking to herself that she could do this all day and not get tired of it.

Carlisle could sense Edward was returning from town and quickly parted from with Esme.

She, too, was beginning to recognize his scent from far away and always felt a little awkward about being by him when her thoughts were so highly concentrated on Carlisle.

Even though they rarely displayed their affection for one another in front him, Esme knew that her thoughts provided more than enough detail than Edward cared to know, and probably more than had actually happened.

She hoped that he didn't think less of her for the desires she kept hidden in her mind for the man that she loved.

Edward quickly rounded a bend that lead to their house and smirked as he passed by.

"You're fine, Esme," he assured her with a grin, "I would never think that."

Esme laughed and swatted him on the arm as she stood up from the stone wall.

Carlisle snickered and was always happy to see the closeness that existed between the two of them. Edward had admitted on more than one occasion that he saw Esme as a warm, motherly figure and likewise with Carlisle as a father.

Although unconventional, the group they had worked and everyone had contributed to making each of their lives better in a number of ways.

"Do either of you need to hunt?" Esme asked, "I think I probably should."

Carlisle and Edward both nodded.

"Sometimes when I'm in town for a while, I need to hunt right away when I get back," Edward admitted, "It gets tempting." He looked at Esme, who appeared to be comforted by the statement.

Carlisle, on the other hand, looked concerned.

"Let's go," Edward urged before he could say anything in return.

Esme followed Edward's lead and Carlisle followed just behind. His senses led him to where he knew a family of deer was gathered and began to head in that direction.

It was at the same moment when another scent began to burn in his nostrils and he felt venom build up in his mouth.

"Carlisle!" Edward called out. The tone of his voice was urgent and panicked.

A wave of terror washed through Carlisle's body. Somewhere close by, a human wandered on the paths in the woods.

"Esme!" Carlisle called out frantically.

He could see her outline in the darkness, but she was quickly gone from the path that they had all been on. Edward, too, was close behind and at her heels.

Carlisle had no idea if he, too, was on the hunt for human blood or if he was attempting to stop her.

Either way, he began sprinting in their direction, praying he could make it in time.

Morning light had just begun to shine through the trees. The sound of a human whistling would have typically been a calm, gentle sound, though that morning the sound rang through the trees like a dinner bell.

"Esme!" Carlisle called out following close behind but not close enough to try to get in her way.

He knew she was in mid-hunt and tried desperately to stop her from what he gradually realized was going to be inevitable.

The whistling grew closer, and the smell of the blood in the human's veins became increasingly distinct. And then the young man came into Carlisle's view.

He was about twenty and strolling by himself through the woods without a care in the world.

It was then that Carlisle knew his chances at distracting Esme were over. Only another couple of seconds passed by before the man was on his back with Esme on top of him.

She sunk her teeth deep into the man's neck, sending the scent of blood into the night. The walker had no chance to scream or react.

Esme's attack was so agile and quick that one minute he was whistling and the next he was lifeless.

Carlisle heard Edward's snarling growl next and hurried to the scene where the two of them crouched above the man, draining whatever blood was left in his body.

He felt responsible for what had happened. Carlisle had made it a habit upon Esme's first month to make sure the woods were clear of hikers or people passing through. In their more recent days he'd stopped doing that and suddenly regretted it dearly.

It was negligence on his part that led to the man's death in the forest that day.

Esme and Edward both sat solemnly in separate chairs in the living room. Carlisle had originally attempted to raise their spirits by taking the blame, but he knew only time would heal their pain.

He sat on the floor with his back against the wall and stared out the window at the continual flow of daybreak.

Edward could see the accountability that Carlisle placed on himself from what had happened. He repeated over and over like a chorus of guilt and remorse. He silently prayed that the two of them would be forgiven, fully taking blame for the act. Carlisle repeatedly beat himself for not checking the area, referring to himself as _stupid_, _selfish_, and _irresponsible._

Esme's feelings matched Edward's in many ways. She felt like she could die, and for the first time since she'd been changed, she felt monstrous and unworthy of life. She hated herself at that moment and thought constantly of the man's family and what they would do when they learned of his death.

_I'm a murderer_, she thought. The word burned in her brain, _murderer._

Edward felt guilt's wrath, and now felt he could not even come close to comparing himself to Carlisle. He'd managed three centuries without hunting humans, and had even had the power to stop after tasting it when changing both he and Esme.

The thought suddenly felt impossible and new found respect for his father figured had formed.

"How did you stop?" Edward asked, breaking the endless silence that tortured all of their minds.

Carlisle looked over at him, not knowing who he was speaking to.

"How did you restrain yourself from killing us when you changed us?" Edward asked, repeating the question more fully.

Carlisle sighed, "It wasn't without difficulty."

"But you still did it. You stopped. I couldn't control myself," Edward said, "Not after the taste hit my mouth. Nothing could have stopped me."

"This life we live," Carlisle explained, looking at both of them, "It's not easy. It's never been easy."

His eyes met Esme's for the first time in a while. She'd been avoiding his stare and looked as though she could cry at any minute.

Carlisle knew he heart was heavy and that she was having an even harder time coping even Edward was.

"It's not your fault," he told both of them. "I should have looked around the area."

"It's my fault," Esme said.

"No," Carlisle and Edward said at the same time.

She suspected they were both being polite, "I committed the act. It was me," she looked at Edward, "I am so sorry to drag you into this Edward. I'm so, so sorry."

He shook his head, "Esme, the timing was just horrible. That person, if they weren't there at that exact moment, this wouldn't have happened."

"But it did," she said with a nod, "I killed someone." The thought horrified her and it shined through in her expression. "I can't believe I did that."

"It's okay," Carlisle said to her.

"No it's not," she said, shaking her head. She glanced at Edward again, "I'm sorry Edward."

Esme got up and left the room before either of them had a chance to say anything.

She wandered up the stairs and sat by herself in the corner of one of the rooms by the window. Her heart stung with repentance and she prayed that the man's family would be looked after in the wake of losing him.

"Please look after his mother the most," Esme whispered, "Please let her know that everything will be okay and that her son is in heaven. If he has a wife, please allow her to remember all of the good times she had with her husband."

Her hands were folded and sat pressed together on the window sill. She stared up through the overhanging trees toward the blue sky that hid behind it.

All of the goodness and warmth that she'd felt had transformed to sadness and guilt.

_How will I ever get over this?_ She asked herself.

"Esme," Carlisle's soft, forgiving voice echoed through the room.

The shame she felt prevented her from turning to face him. She knew that her actions must have let him down and that this perfect vision they'd shared about spending their lives together had been ruined.

"I can't Carlisle," she said, shaking her head.

"You can't what?" he asked.

She didn't respond and wanted to cry but knew it was impossible.

"I killed a man," she whimpered, "I actually killed a person."

She felt his hands lay gently on her shoulders. The touch made her feel better, though she even felt selfish that something so simple could help her even remotely stray from her guilt over a crime so heinous.

"Esme, we're going to get through this together," he assured her.

_Together?_ She wondered. _Does he still want to be with me?_

Carlisle wrapped his arms completely around her from behind and closed his eyes as he kissed her temple before burying his face by her neck.

Esme let out a pleasurable shudder and the intimacy of his actions. "You still want me?" she asked.

Carlisle didn't move, "I'll want you forever, Esme; no matter what."

His spoken breaths trickled down her neck and she clutched onto his arms with her hands as they stayed securely around her waist.

"I'm a horrible person, Carlisle," she whispered.

"No you're not," he said immediately.

"Yes I am. Look what I did to that poor man," she told him, "And his family…"

"You're a good person, Esme," Carlisle said, "That's why you feel this way. You feel the guilt because you're a good person. Every immortal that I met along the way killed humans without thinking twice about it. They didn't even try."

She sighed and shook her head.

"Esme," he spun her around to face him and placed a hand gently on her cheek, "_I_ should have checked the area before we went out. _I_ am the one who changed you. It's _my_ fault that you want the taste of blood so badly."

Esme looked deep into his pain-filled eyes, "Do you regret changing me?"

"No," he shook his head, "I could never regret changing you."

"Even if it meant saving that man's life?"

Carlisle didn't hesitate in his response, "Yes, even at the expense of his life."

Esme saw the truth in his eyes and the lack of hesitation he had when answering her question so enthusiastically made her feel a number of emotions at once. She wasn't sure which one to go with; _Happiness, guilt, remorse, anxiety, over the top joy that this man would do anything to keep her._

Carlisle knew it too. He felt selfish and wrong for it, but he knew that he would give up a thousand human lives to spend an eternity with Esme. He would kill for her. He would die for her.

If it meant it was what she truly wanted in her heart, he would give up his righteous animal-thirsting ways for her. He would slaughter the town for her if it made her happy.

Carlisle felt the complexity of his feelings for her being brought to the surface. He would do anything if two things were certain. One, and the most important, was that Esme was happy. Two, was that they would be together for the rest of their days.

"I'm sorry Carlisle," Esme said. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and buried her face his chest.

Her pain made him feel weak in the same way her happiness made him feel strong.

"It's okay," he assured her quietly, rubbing her back with his hands. "We're going to figure this out together. You'll never have to go through anything like this alone."

The two of them stood together in front of the upstairs window linked together for a while. The thought of Edward passed through his mind, though it was Edward's suggestion that he go upstairs to comfort Esme. He knew Edward had been upset with himself, though also knew he was far less in need of consoling that Esme was.

Edward suddenly glided out the front door and into the yard. He stared up to where Carlisle was in the window and gave him a wave to let him know his thoughts were on point.

Carlisle nodded back and intended to have a long talk with the young man he considered to be like a son. Right now, however, he knew his duty lied in making sure Esme was alright.


	18. Completion In Each Other

**Chapter 17**

Edward was a big contributor in pulling Esme out of the guilt-ridden coma she had put herself into. Months went by, guiding them toward the end of October and she was yet to let go of the slip-up she'd had in the forest during the summer.

His initial comfort, in time, turned into lighthearted teasing, which eventually lead to Esme being able to come to terms with her mistake. Edward constantly included himself in the equation, which made it easier for Esme to move on.

She still felt unworthy of Carlisle since the incident, despite his claims that he viewed her no differently. She recognized that he hovered around her more and never let a day go by when he didn't check before they went hunting.

Esme appreciated it dearly, though regretted knowing that she'd put him on edge in such a way. Still, he insisted it was what he should have been doing all along and thought nothing of it.

Carlisle's confidence in her, however, kept her mind strong. He continued to bring her within reach of humans under his supervision.

If there was anything good that came from Esme's lapse of control, it was the fact that she was even more determined to get past her demons. She wanted to prove to herself that she could do as Carlisle and Edward did, and live amongst humans.

Each day since the ordeal, she felt her level of restraint grow stronger. The boundary lines Carlisle had set for her had been broken time and time again.

With his constant guidance and strong willed enthusiasm, Esme was able to build up the tolerance she needed to take each next step as it came.

By the middle of November, she felt in control and content. Esme did not yet trust herself to be alone in the vicinity of society, but with Carlisle's company, she felt secure.

The nights he had off from the hospital, he spent walking the town with her. There weren't many humans who stayed out much longer than dusk, especially as the nights grew colder.

Carlisle and Esme had the streets to themselves and felt as if the world belonged to them in the midnight hours.

Their nightly strolls contributed greatly to Esme's ability to resist human blood, but took the pressure off speaking directly with humans at first.

Carlisle continued to give her pointers about how to control the thirst even deeper. He suggested holding her breath whenever possible and never taking in deep sighs or inhales.

She took in every word he had to say and followed his every lead.

The two of them strolled hand in hand in the early winter evening, both dressed up as if they, like their human counterparts, were affected by the whipping winds and light snow dusting that covered the town.

"It's so beautiful," Esme said, taking in the wonderland of snow that seemed to appear out of nowhere."

Carlisle glanced around the town, grinning. They passed by a few shops, one of which was still being shut down by its owner.

He looked over at Esme who peeked in through the window at the elderly man behind the counter.

She smiled at Carlisle and shrugged, "You were right, it has gotten easier."

He snickered and felt compelled to give her a kiss, "I knew you could do it," he told her.

Esme stopped him in their tracks and prolonged the kiss he'd given her, feeling equally as excited as she had been during their first kiss. "You're such an amazing man, Carlisle. Thank you for doing this with me. I know there are a thousand things you could be doing besides helping me maintain the control of my thirst." She let out a brief laugh.

He pulled her a few inches closer to his body and shook his head, "There's nothing in the world I'd rather be doing," he told her, "I'd choose to be with you doing anything, anywhere than to be somewhere you're not."

Esme smiled shyly and accepted another kiss he gave her. He then took her by the hand to continue their walk about town.

"Hey, Dr. Cullen!" a voice called, catching the two of them off guard.

Carlisle's eyes widened as he saw one of the new nurses from the hospital approach him. She gave a friendly wave as she and the man she was with got closer.

"Mary, how are you?" he said with a friendly smile. He felt some relief in knowing that the nurse he was speaking with was hired after Esme had been a patient there.

Mary's eyes drifted to where his hand was locked with Esme's, "I assume this is your wife?" She flashed Esme a friendly smile.

Carlisle hesitated before answer, "Yes, this is-"

"My name's Mary, also," Esme lied, knowing she was probably the only patient to go through the hospital with her own unique name.

The woman let out a laugh, "Well, isn't that funny. This is my husband Jack."

"Hello," the man said in a deep voice, extending his hand to meet Carlisle's then Esme's.

"Well," the woman said, "We're trying to make it back home before this storm really kicks in. I'll see you at work?"

Carlisle nodded, "See you at work," he looked toward Jack, "It was nice to meet you."

"Nice meeting you too."

Esme and Mary exchanged another  
handshake and a quick wave before the couple made their way down the sidewalk.

Carlisle looked at Esme, at first with a little worry in his face, and then with a look of accomplishment, "Wow," he said with a grin, "That was impressive."

"What?" she asked, smiling back.

"You didn't have any trouble speaking with them?"

"No," she said, stilling smiling, "I got this great advice from someone to hold my breath and not to inhale too deeply. I suppose it worked."

Carlisle let out a laugh and kissed her enthusiastically, "You're amazing… Mary."

Esme let out a loud laugh, "I know. I lied. I'm sorry."

"It's a good thing you did," he said, "Because I couldn't think of a different name on the fly."

"I know you've said that I can't be seen around town," Esme told him, "And I knew we weren't going to get out of being a couple because we were holding hands, so I used her name. Mary is a common name, right?"

Carlisle laughed at her wit, "I suppose so, yes. I'll just have to remember that when the nosy co-workers begin to ask about my gorgeous wife named Mary."

Esme laughed, "I hope it won't get you into trouble."

He smiled and brushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes.

"What?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

Carlisle took her by the hand again, "Come on."

The two of them walked for hours, neither tiring of the other's company. Their conversations were endless and Carlisle continued to praise Esme for her self-control.

"You continue to amaze me," he told her before wandering away from the city and into an open field not far from their home.

The snow fell in beautiful patterns and it could be seen for acres across the spacious meadow.

"This is the first time I've seen snow with my new eyesight," Esme said with a laugh, "It's so amazing." She looked up toward the sky that was blanketed by clouds, though they only partially covered up the moon.

"I can see every detail in the snowflakes," she added, completely floored by the idea that that was possible.

Carlisle grinned and stopped them, putting his arms around her. "I love you," he told her.

Esme felt like the scenery contributed to her suspicions that she could still possibly be in Heaven. "I love you more."

He laughed and tucked his thumb beneath her chin, "That's impossible, my dear."

"Oh is it?" she shook her head in disagreement, "This is the one thing I'd have to say you're wrong about Dr. Cullen."

"Hmm.." he snickered and felt Esme take his lips with her own again, this time more passionately.

He reciprocated the motion and let the moment quickly get the best of him.

Esme gripped hard onto the collar of shirt as she pulled him toward her. Before Carlisle even knew what he was doing, he had her pinned beneath him on the snowy ground, actively pursuing her tongue with his own.

Esme kissed him back without thinking about anything else. For the first time, she felt what it was like to truly want someone in this way. The only experience she'd had was with her previous husband Charles, and that was anything but desirable. Feeling Carlisle up against her, however, was something she knew she couldn't get enough of.

Carlisle let his instincts drive him in the heat of the moment. He'd never experienced the need that currently burned through his core for Esme. The hardest part was that she continued to kiss him in way that she hadn't prior to that night. It was almost impossible not to carry on.

Something inside of him told him to stop, and though it took his brain a little convincing, Carlisle pulled back with much difficulty.

He pushed himself up from the ground, helping Esme to her feet so quickly that she didn't have the time to ask why he had stopped.

"I'm so sorry, Esme," he said, shaking his head, "I…" he scratched his head looking for words.

Esme looked down, "It's alright, Carlisle." There wasn't even the slightest part of her that wanted him to stop. She'd daydreamed about progressing their relationship to that level, and while she felt highly intimidated by how perfect he was, she very much wanted to be intimate with him.

A chuckle left Esme's mouth, breaking their awkward silence. Carlisle felt somewhat at ease by her reaction and let a smile spread across his face before he looked down at the ground.

"I am your wife, Mary, don't forget," Esme said with a laugh, trying to completely break the tension, "I mean, if that's all you were hesitant about."

Carlisle raised his eyes to meet hers. He gave a nod, "I never intended to do that, or rush into anything."

"I don't feel that way at all," Esme said, "I wish you hadn't stopped." She laughed, "Is that wrong?"

Carlisle grinned, "I wish I hadn't either, but I would like to make you my wife before we went down that road."

Esme felt on top of the world at the thought he had contemplated marrying her. "I agree," she said courtly.

"Very well," Carlisle said. He continued to smile. "It was actually the reason why I brought you here, Esme."

She gave him a confused look and grinned.

He laughed, suddenly realizing she thought he meant something else, "No, no. Not for the reason you're thinking."

Esme giggled at his clumsy words.

"We've been walking these streets every night. You've grown as a person; we've grown together."

She nodded and smiled.

"And all that talking with Mary and Jack on the street, it was like an omen; a good omen. It was as if what I had planned was meant to be."

"What do you have planned?" Esme asked.

Carlisle took a deep breath and he reached his pocket. He bent down on one knee in the snow and took Esme's hand in his own.

Her mouth opened in shock when she put the pieces of the puzzle together. Had she been human, her face would have turned deep crimson red and her heart would have been beating out of her chest.

"Esme Anne Platt," Carlisle said, leaving out Charles' last name, "I wish to spend all of eternity with you." He pulled an elegant ring from his pocket, "Will you marry me?"

Esme knew her mouth had hung open and inside she was screaming the word _yes, yes yes_, over and over again. In order to make it real, however, it registered after a few seconds that she had to actually say the word.

"Yes," she said with an emotional sob of a laugh, "Yes. Really?"

Carlisle laughed and nodded, "Really."

She put her hand over her mouth before pulling him to her in a long hug, one which he returned, picking her up slightly off the ground as he did.

Esme looked around the winter wonderland that was brewing around them and looked back at Carlisle with smile as he carefully placed the ring on her finger. She looked into his eyes once more and shared a single kiss. The ring on her finger seemed to symbolize that after all the suffering the two of them had been through individually, they could find completion in each other.


	19. Vows and a Witness

**Chapter 18**

Carlisle had been absent for many hours of the day over the course of the next week. Edward knew of his plans, though Esme was convinced that two of them were not being completely honest in terms of his whereabouts.

Edward's silly facial expressions that he tried to hide provided Esme with the most suspicion.

"He's working," Edward said to Esme with a smile, "I really don't know what else to tell you."

Esme stood in front of Edward with her hands on her hips, "So, if I went down to the hospital right now I'd find him there?"

"Yes," Edward lied. He continued to smile, knowing Esme wouldn't actually go down there from her thoughts.

She sighed and sat down in the chair, continued to eye Edward as he flipped through a book. He felt her eyes on him and knew that Esme could be persistent.

"Did I say congratulations yet?" Edward asked to throw her off the topic.

Esme shook her head, "Edward…"

He sighed and shut the book.

"Is Carlisle really at the hospital, Edward?"

Edward crinkled his nose and shook his head, "You're putting me in a very difficult situation here. You do realize that, don't you?"

He threw back his head in laughter as thoughts of a last minute bachelor ordeal crossed her mind.

"What's so funny?" she asked him.

"You're way, way off," Edward told her with a laugh.

_Thank God_, Esme thought to herself.

"Have more faith in him, Esme," he said with a playful accusation.

Esme took his words to heart and scolded herself for the thought. Carlisle would never do anything to hurt her or to put their relationship in jeopardy. She felt low for even slightly considering it as a possibility.

"Don't beat yourself up, Mom," Edward joked, "Dad will be home soon."

She shook her head at his taunting at tossed and old newspaper at him lightly.

"It's a good thing, so, if that eases your mind a bit…" Edward went on, though didn't elaborate on his extremely vague thought.

"What's a good thing?" she asked with a smile. _What could possibly be better than being this close to marrying Carlisle?_ Esme answered her own question in her mind. _Marrying Carlisle._

"You'll find out," Edward told her.

"That's awfully mean of you to lead me to this point without telling me the truth."

He laughed again, "_I_ led you?"

Esme laughed, "Yes."

"Is that right?" Edward went on.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

"So, your prying into whatever Carlisle has planned is equivalent to _me_ leading _you_ to where we are now?"

"Correct," Esme said with a light chuckle.

Edward shook his head, "You women are impossible."

She laughed again, "Us women?"

"Yes," he confirmed with a laugh of his own, "You women."

Before either of them could progress their playful fight any further, Carlisle entered through the front door.

Edward exchanged a look with Esme as if to tell her not to saying anything regarding the broad clues he'd given her to where Carlisle had actually been.

"Hello," he greeted them both with a smile and gave Esme a quick kiss.

She leaned in and gave him a hug, looking over his shoulder at Edward as she spoke, "How was work?"

He gave her a closed mouth grin and flipped the book back open, refocusing on that.

"It was fine," he said, sensing some suspicion in her voice. He glanced at Edward subtly but didn't say anything. "How was your night?"

"A little dull," she admitted, "We went for a hunt and I read a little."

Carlisle read that her face didn't quite match with the word 'dull'. He looked at Edward again; who failed to look up from the book despite the fact that he knew Carlisle was staring in his direction.

At that moment, Carlisle wished that he was the one who could read minds to see what Edward had told Esme.

"I'm going to be honest," he told her, "I spent some time talking to people just outside of town."

Esme waited eagerly.

"We can be married two Saturdays from now."

Edward's eyes rose from the book and he smiled as he made eye contact with Carlisle.

Esme seemed to bounce where she stood, "Really?"

He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm, "Really. Is that what you would want? It'll only be me, you and Edward."

"I'm not going," he said dryly, though both of them knew he was kidding.

"Well, then it'll just be you and I," Carlisle said, purposely ignoring Edward's comment.

He looked over at him and they both let out a simultaneous snicker.

"It sounds perfect," Esme said to him, "But only if Edward's there."

He huffed and sighed and closed the book, before standing up and walking over to where they stood. "I do have a very important business meeting two Saturdays from now," he told them, jokingly "But I suppose I can cancel it."

Carlisle shook his head and Edward leaned over and gave him a hug, then did the same with Esme. "I'm extremely happy for you," he told them, "I'm glad you found each other."

Carlisle nodded, "Thank you."

Esme hugged Edward again, squeezing him hard, "Thank you, Edward."

He winced from her hold on him, "You're welcome."

Esme let him go and gave Carlisle a long, closed mouth kiss and couldn't help but stay in her over joyous mood.

"Esme," Edward said, "I've known Carlisle for several years now, and I honestly can say that you've had such an impact on him. In the way that he goes about his routines, and his demeanor in general; it's all different and it's because of you."

Carlisle looked over at Edward, then to Esme.

"He's been a happy man since you've come into our lives. And he did used to think of you from time to time before he found you again in the hospital."

Esme smiled at looked at Carlisle, who appeared a little extra bashful from the comments.

Edward patted his back once, "I'm very happy for you both."

Two Saturdays later, Carlisle and Esme stood facing each other on a small altar. The priest sounded out the rehearsal of words he'd probably said a thousand times.

Edward sat back and admired their exchange of vows, feeling good inside about being the witness in such an intimate ceremony. From his short years of living with and traveling with Carlisle, he realized that he felt there was no one out there who deserved to be happy more than he did.

The struggles that he had to endure, and the fact alone that he had, had no one for so long, far longer than anyone should ever have to, were the only indicators Edward needed to feel such a way. On top of it all, he knew Carlisle was more pure at heart than anyone he'd ever met.

Through his thoughts, Edward could see that the man he now considered his father had never had a malicious thought about anyone; at least in the last three years of knowing him. His views would sometimes respectfully differ from others, though the key word in a justified expression of Carlisle was exactly that: respectful.

From where Edward sat, he could see the glow on Esme's face. She, too, was equally as pure at heart as Carlisle. He constantly felt guilty for invading their private thoughts, but in Esme's he saw a type of love that came so naturally for both he and Carlisle that it was almost incomparable.

In the same ways Edward viewed her like a mother, Esme loved him like a son. He'd even seen the thought pass through her mind that she would die for him if it came down to it. At the time, it was an emotional realization for Edward. Knowing that Esme thought of him so dearly was comforting and gave him a greater sense of self-worth.

When it came to Carlisle, he knew that no other woman could ever love a man more. In his human years, Edward had seen his parents interact, as he had other couples. They played the parts quite well, though none of them had the looks in their eyes for one another the way Esme had for Carlisle.

The same case was true in the opposite form. Carlisle adored Esme like no other. The fact that it took him nearly three hundred years to find her was quite amazing to Edward. He watched their love develop, and from their thoughts knew it was just a matter of time before they would be standing as they were now.

The priest was nearly finished reading as Carlisle and Esme repeated his words aloud, each of them equally nervous and happy. As he finally smiled and allowed their marriage to be consummated by a single kiss, Edward stood up and clapped his hands, then hugged the two of them.

Esme couldn't keep a smile from her face. If it were possible, she knew she would have been crying, but for her sake she was glad she wasn't able to.

Carlisle likewise continued to smile and thanked the man who performed the ceremony several times before the three of them left the quaint church together

Edward found their moods to be contagious. He smiled as they made their way back toward home, reading each of their correspondingly blissful thoughts. It was hard not to want to engage in celebration over the event.

Esme looked toward him as they neared the house, sensing Edward was keeping something from her by his facial expressions and lack of eye contact.

"What?" she asked with a girlish giggle.

"Well, I took it upon myself to pack your bags for you," he said, "Carlisle has a wedding gift to give you."

Esme looked at Carlisle who smiled and shrugged. "What is it?" she asked excitedly.

"It's a surprise," he told her, revealing his perfect smile that she found impossible to resist."

"Remember when you suspected he wasn't at the hospital?" Edward asked.

Esme looked at him, "Yes. I thought that was about him planning today; the wedding."

"That was only a small part of it." He wandered inside and grabbed their bags that were packed with clothes.

"Are we going somewhere?" she asked with another laugh as if she couldn't believe it.

"Of course," Carlisle said with a smile.

A smile illuminated Esme's face and she couldn't help but kiss him over and over again until he began to laugh.

"Save it for when you're away," Edward joked, returning outside.

"Is that the gift?" Esme asked.

"That's part of it," Carlisle told her with a smile, feeling slightly amused at his ability to keep her on edge. He looked at Edward, "You'll be okay without us for a little while?"

"When the cat's away, the mice will play," he said with a grin, and then added, "I'll be just fine. Have a great time."


	20. Isle Esme

**Chapter 19**

"Are you sure he'll be okay?" Esme asked, staring around her at the ever-growing city of Brazil.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked, grabbing her hand to lead her toward the water.

She nodded, "Yes."

"He'll be fine," he told her with a smile, "We won't be gone long."

Esme smiled and looked around the night sky, "Isn't it supposedly sunny here a lot? How are we going to stay hidden?"

He grinned, "You won't have to worry about that. We're about to leave."

"Leave?" she asked, taking in her new surroundings. The area was far different than anything she'd ever experienced.

Carlisle smiled, "I promise you won't be disappointed."

The tone of his voice made her shudder and smile. The mystery he continued to lead on was more than thrilling and she couldn't wait to see what he had in store for her. "Okay," she responded back in a perky nature.

Carlisle pulled her to him to share a kiss in the nearly empty streets before towing her along by the hand toward a small dock at the water's edge.

Esme's eyes glanced around before he motioned for her to step into a small boat.

Her mouth dropped, "A boat? Is it yours?"

Carlisle laughed, "It's_ ours_, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme loved the way her new name rolled off his tongue so gracefully. "You're the first person to say it out loud."

He brought her to him again and shared another long kiss before she reluctantly pulled back, "We may never get to we're going if you keep doing that."

Carlisle smiled and helped her aboard before beginning the long, peaceful journey through the ocean.

Along the way, he pointed to a small school of dolphins as they frolicked and played in the waves the evening brought them.

Esme looked amazed at all of the brand new things she'd experienced in such a short trip, thus far. The beauty of the world she would have never otherwise known was too much for her to process. It was amazing.

She wrapped her arms around Carlisle from behind as he continued to drive the boat. "Where on earth are you taking me?"

He smiled and continued to look out onto the water, "We're almost there."

"You sure know how to keep a secret," she told him, kissing his cheek.

"Can you hold out another ten minutes?"

"Sure," she told him, letting go of his waist.

He turned his head, "You can stay right where you were if you want."

Esme always felt a little extra enthusiastic when Carlisle initiated things like that. She eagerly re-attached herself to him and rested her chin on his shoulder as they neared their destination.

As the island came into view, Esme took it all in as if it wasn't real. From the water, she could see the outline  
of a large house and some rock cliffs off to the left.

Palm trees were everywhere, and she suddenly felt like she was in a fairytale. The land was far more beautiful than anywhere she'd ever been. Even in her wildest imagination, Esme could not have envisioned something so enchanting.

Carlisle locked the boat to the side of another waiting dock before leaping up onto the wooden boards. He reached for Esme's hands, though he knew she needed no help making the short leap.

"Where are we?" she asked. Her eyes were wide as she took in the stunning scenery around her.

Carlisle smiled, "This is yours," he said humbly.

Esme was confused. She looked to where he waved his hand, though never broke eye contact with her.

"What's mine?" she asked him with a smile.

"This," he said, "All of it; it's yours."

She still had trouble comprehending and took his hand as he reached his out for hers. They began to walk along a short path overlooked by palm trees.

"This is all pretty new to me," he said, looking around, "But they gave me the gist of what would be on the island."

"Who's they?" Esme asked him.

"The people I talked to when I bought it."

"Bought what?" her eyes focused on the house that were closing in on, "The house?"

"The island," he told her with a quick, almost nervous, laugh.

Esme laughed, thinking he was kidding, and then saw the serious shyness in his eyes. "Are you… are you serious?"

He nodded, "It's your wedding gift."

"How?" she shook her head, "What?"

Esme had a hard time coming to terms with what he had just said. She knew he wasn't lying, but thought at the same time that he couldn't possibly be serious.

"I got this island for you, Esme," he said, "I guess you can afford it when you save your money for two-hundred and fifty years."

"Really?" she asked him again, feeling unworthy, "There's no way..." her thoughts began to drift, "I don't deserve this, Carlisle."

His face twisted into an expression as if to say "are you crazy". He looked more confused than she had at his statement about the island being hers, "You deserve far more than this. I just couldn't think of something better at the time."

Esme couldn't believe what he was saying. It all seemed too good to be true.

"Is it possible for vampires to pass out?" she asked him, taking in everything again. "You're serious?"

"I'm serious," he told her again.

It was another one of those moments where Esme knew she would cry if she was still human. The complete turn-around in her life was completely overwhelming. Here she had been, a normal human woman with an abusive husband, a lack of self-confidence and no reason to live. Her family had betrayed her, there was no one who she felt truly cared and she was scared and alone.

Now, there was the man of her dreams standing in front of her telling her she was worthy of the world. Charles would have pushed her in the dirt and degraded her. Carlisle wanted nothing more than to lift her up to the highest point she could possibly go and praise her forever.

Esme had no idea what she had done to possibly deserve a day like the one she was currently experiencing, and all that went with it, but she was utterly grateful that she was living in the moment she was clinging to now.

Without thinking, she grabbed Carlisle forcefully by the shirt and pulled him to her, locking her lips with his.

He initially was surprised by her aggressive reaction, though quickly reciprocated the act.

"I can't believe you did this for me," she said, pulling back for a second only to be smothered by his own assertive kissing style.

Esme closed her eyes and heard a loud ripping sound, then quickly took her hands away from him.

Carlisle looked down at the front of his shirt before letting out a laugh. It was ripped almost directly down the middle, revealing some of chest and abdomen.

Esme looked shocked by the force of her own actions, "I'm sorry," she told him, then asked, "Did I just do that?"

Carlisle laughed again and shrugged, "It's just a shirt."

Esme put a hand over her mouth and kept just her eyes revealed to him. Carlisle couldn't keep a smile from his face and could tell by her eyes, alone, that she was grinning.

"So I buy you an island, and you tear my shirt," he teased, looking back down at his tattered clothing.

"I'm sorry," Esme said again with a laugh, "I didn't know I could do that."

"You're capable of breaking rocks and knocking down trees, don't forget." He smiled at her again before leading her toward the house.

Esme felt herself sigh as they entered, taking in the elegant, beachy nature of the home. Right away she guessed that only a handful of people on the planet could afford to rent such a house, never mind buy it.

It was timeless and beautiful with large open windows and glass doors that gave a faultless view of the ocean and was merely a step or two to the beach.

"This is unreal," Esme said, taking it all in at once, "This is the most beautiful place I've ever seen."

Carlisle grinned and looked around, "I suppose we'll be able to see a little better tomorrow when the sun's out."

_The sun_, Esme thought. _How would they be able to stay out in the sun?_

"Will we be able to go out in the day?" she asked him.

Carlisle laughed, "I guess I forgot one other detail. It's just the two of us here."

Esme was overly pleased at the thought, though somewhere inside of her she was equally as nervous, but in the best of ways. She was alone on an island with Carlisle Cullen; her husband, the man she would be spending the rest of her life with.

"It is _yours_, don't forget," he added, still smiling.

"And I'm yours," Esme said back, laughing at her comment.

"How did I get so lucky?" Carlisle asked her, feeling her melt into his arms.

She shrugged and closed her eyes, feeling his lips press against hers as his hands settled on either of her hips.

He stopped and swallowed hard, feeling her hands against the bare skin of the part of his chest that had been exposed when she ripped his shirt.

Esme looked up at him, and then glanced over at the massive bed that stood as the focal point of the room they were standing in.

_The headboard is gorgeous_, she thought, before letting the reality of their situation overtake her purposely distracting thoughts. She inhaled a deep breath of the ocean air and suddenly felt anxiousness take over her body.

Carlisle could see it in the sudden tenseness of her body against his and decided to make light of the situation. "Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked, though every part of him had no desire to leave the room.

Esme sighed and tried smile confidently, "It's dark out. Won't we get a better view of the island if we walked around tomorrow?"

He nodded once and looked down, "Makes sense."

Esme had a number of thoughts pulling her in different directions. She wanted Carlisle more than anything in the world. For years she had dreamed about the position she was in now. She loved him, he loved her. A major part of her wanted to do what she had fantasized about in her mind too many times to count, probably tormenting poor Edward in the process.

The smaller part of her was self-conscious and afraid. Charles had scarred her memory of what the act of love should be like, or feel like. She only had the experience with him to compare too and felt guilty for even remotely comparing him to what it would be like to be physically intimate with Carlisle.

He was nothing like Charles. He was a gentleman and genuine. He cared about her more than anyone else ever had. He'd bought her an island and told her she was worthy of far more than that. She knew he truly believed that.

"Are you sure you don't want to go for a walk?" Carlisle asked her, sensing the apprehension in her face and body language.

Esme wanted to be fair to herself. She knew if she deserved anything, it was this. She knew what it felt like to be loved. Carlisle loved her deeply. She wanted to finally erase the horrible memories of Charles with something so perfect that the image of his face would never enter her mind again.

Instead of answering Carlisle's question, she kissed him.

A loud sigh filtered out of his nose and onto hers as he prolonged her kiss by opening his mouth up partway. In just a few seconds, Carlisle felt Esme's formerly tense body loosen up in his hands, which allowed him to do the same.

The feel of his tongue against hers as his hands looked for a way to get rid of her clothing made her moan into his mouth. The lapses of his mouth were gentle and erotic, doing as she hoped and erasing the memories of what she had experienced with Charles.

Carlisle finally was able to maneuver the tie that laced up the back of Esme's dress. He felt his hand shake nervously as he loosened the band just enough that it allowed the dress to slide just an inch or two down her shoulders.

Esme took in a deep sigh at the break in their kiss and Carlisle brought his eyes back to meet hers, both increasingly swelled with a deep black color that covered the normal ambers of their eye color.

"I must admit I'm a little self-conscious," she told him quietly with a nervous laugh.

"We don't have to do this," he told her, "Just because we're married now-"

"I want to," she told him with a closed mouth smile, "I just have never been fond of the way I… look."

Carlisle put a hand on the side of her face, "You're beautiful, Esme."

She shook her head in protest, but placed her hand over his.

"If anything, I should be self-conscious," he told her, "I've never been in this position before. You're stunning. I'm... just me."

"Just you? Any woman would want you."

He shook his head and smiled.

"I want you," she told him, taking her arms out of the short sleeves slowly.

Carlisle thought to himself about how many things he'd experienced in his lifetime, though nothing could have prepared him for the moment he was experiencing now. He decided to let his instincts lead him from that moment on.

Esme pulled his hand toward her mouth and left a single, sensual kiss on his thumb.

Carlisle closed his eyes from the sensation of such an innocent action before bringing his lips back to hers.

The trust Esme had for him in all aspects of her life finally aided her through the initial process of their intimacy. She never felt comfortable in her own skin and Carlisle's model-esque appearance was completely intimidating.

_He's too good for me_, she thought, scolding herself almost immediately for ruining the moment. _Let yourself enjoy him. Stop being so negative._

Carlisle's sensual maneuvers were easy for Esme to indulge herself in. He trailed kissed down her neck and traced her body with his hands as if he'd been doing it for years. Throughout the next several minutes she lost herself in nothing but his touches.

He'd been so graceful that she hadn't recognized he'd relocated the two of them to the bed until she opened her eyes and noticed the shift in the scenery. Her focus had been solely on the sensation of his lips and fingertips against her bare skin that she'd completely forgotten to use the rest of her senses.

Carlisle, too, found himself hesitant when it came to disposing of his clothing. His shirt had been off partway before, and so ridding of it wasn't completely overwhelming. It was rare that he went without a shirt, and up until that moment, he had never even bared his chest to Esme.

He swallowed hard and looked down before making the next move. He knew she had taken the bigger risk in allowing him to remove her clothes first and thought it was only fair if he took the same risk.

Carlisle looked in her eyes for a moment, blocking out whatever fears he had, before taking Esme's lips again with his own. He hoped it would be enough of a distraction so he could slide them both under the covers.

She was completely magnificent to him in every single way. Her body in its most natural form was flawless and he wondered how she could envision it in any other way.

Carlisle felt Esme's hands gripping tightly to his back. Her touch was the only urge he needed to proceed and bare himself to her in the same way she had to him. He knew it was what she was waiting for and he sensed she relaxed a little once he, too, surpassed his comfort zone.

Esme continued to explore the muscular lines in his upper body before she brought a hand back up to his face as she sensed he was hesitant to continue. The nervousness in the pit of her stomach continued to build up at the anticipation of their actions to follow.

The edginess his Carlisle's own expression gave her a sense of comfort, in that she wasn't alone in how she felt. His swelled pupils that gazed upon her gave her a slight reassurance that she was physically appealing to him. Despite how many times he said it, she still didn't see the beauty in herself that he so frequently described.

Unpretentiously, he wrapped the two of them in the comfort of the untouched sheets. The feel of her skin against his sent stimulating chills down his back; though he waited for her let him know he could continue.

Esme took in a deep inhale through her nose and took in his breathtaking scent. She glided her hand toward the back of his neck and guided his mouth back to hers.

The urgency of his tongue sent waves of anxious lust through her body and she quickly adjusted them both so he could proceed.

Carlisle stopped himself from kissing her for a moment. "I love you," he told her, keeping his forehead against hers with his eyes closed.

"I love you, too," she said back, studying his expression. She then added, "I trust you Carlisle."

He opened his eyes for a moment to make sure her expression matched the sincerity of her voice. Her eyes let him know that she was okay and so he brought his mouth back to hers progressing their intimacy to a level he'd never experienced before.

Esme closed her eyes and relished every inch of contact Carlisle initiated, reprogramming in her mind what the act of love should truly feel like, emotionally and physically. The touch of his hands felt gentle and arousing, handling her fragile physique with all the love and care that he reminded her of through his daily pledges of love to her; with the same love and care that sang in his voice as he said his vows to her at their wedding ceremony.

Esme suddenly realized how deprived she was of the pleasure that could come from making love to her husband. Carlisle was nothing like Charles. He might as well have turned their act into an art form from the careful measures he took to make sure she felt perfect and comfortable and appreciated all at once.

She suspected their supernatural abilities may have contributed the mind-blowing nature of the experience. She never once had the urge to stop, and only realized how much time had passed because the sun began to rise at the base of the horizon that hung like a picture framed in the distance.

Not even for a second did she feel like she had, had enough, and from Carlisle's extensive stamina, she knew it had to be the same for him. She suddenly wondered if there was something out there, a comparable force of nature, which would be strong enough to convince either of them to tell the other that enough was enough.

_I'm not capable_, Esme thought to herself. She held onto him as if she would be clung to him forever. If by some chance that happened and they never separated, she wouldn't at all mind.

Carlisle recognized the dawn of the next day from the streaks of sunlight that filtered into the room. He took his eyes off of Esme for the first time since entering the room the night before, recognizing his hand was engulfed in the tattered sheets at the head of the bed. He unclenched his fist and felt Esme sigh as their actions had finally come to a halt.

The side of his face was pressed against hers and he desperately wished to see her expression. Her hand gently rubbed over his back before he pulled himself back a few inches to read her eyes again. He had no idea what she was thinking, or if he measured up to what she had expected of him. There was never a time where he'd felt more insecure. On the same note, in all of his years, he easily recognized that he had never felt so euphoric and complete. Carlisle knew that if he died that day he could truly die happy.

The sun sent a glittering sensation across his back and illuminated everything around the immediate area.

Esme smiled, thinking of the glow to be almost symbolic of how angelic Carlisle was. She suddenly didn't mind all the suffering she had to endure to experience such a perfect moment. She ran her free hand through his hair and kissed him once before hoping to engage in their first conversation since the night before.

"How was that possible?" she asked him.

Carlisle felt relieved from the glowing expression on her face and her smile made him feel completely at ease.

"What do you mean?" he asked removing his hand from where it was still entwined in the sheet to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I didn't know how to get myself to stop," she admitted, unable to break eye contact with him.

Carlisle let out a short, appreciative laugh, "I'm not quite sure how I'll be able to get back to my normal routines when we get back home."

"Seriously," she went on, "There's no physical need to stop. I didn't feel tired or worn out," she looked at him and gave a laugh, herself, "I still don't. I mean, what are the consequences of doing that all day, every day?"

Carlisle shook his head, "I don't think there are any consequences."

"So, how do we answer the question?"

He sighed, "I don't think we need to search for an answer right now."

Esme knew he was right. They had more than a week left of their honeymoon. There were no responsibilities. No distractions. No work. And best of all, there were no other people around for miles and miles. Her only responsibility, for the time, was being with Carlisle.

Neither of them had moved from the way they laid together. Carlisle knew he didn't have to ask about what Esme thought of him because she made it clear that she wasn't ready to let him go.

She initiated another kiss before giving him a loving smile. Carlisle decided to put his brain on hold, knowing he'd given it plenty of use over the last two and a half centuries. He felt himself relax and decided to continue to enjoy the time he had alone with his breathtakingly beautiful wife.


	21. Trust

**Chapter 20**

Carlisle laid behind Esme beneath the sheets with his arm draped over her and felt a sense of comfort when she interlocked her fingers with his. Over the course of the day and a half that they'd spent unable to separate from each other's arms, he'd probably asked about a thousand times if she was alright. There was no indication that Esme was at all annoyed from his constant checking-up, though he knew he must have sounded ridiculous for repeatedly asking.

Still, after some time of not speaking, Carlisle couldn't help himself, "Are you alright?"

Esme turned to face him; "Alright?" she shook her head, "No." She quickly confirmed what she meant with a smile after reading his immediately concerned expression, "Alright isn't the word I was thinking of. I think amazing might be a better adjective."

He let out a chuckle.

"That was one of the best nights of my life," she told him, "And I only say _one_ of the best because I can't decide if the best night was all of last night, or the first time you told me you loved me."

"Well, I suppose that's fair," he told her, "I'm having the same conflict."

Esme smiled and gave him a long, closed mouth kiss and let her lips linger next to his, "I've never felt like this Carlisle. I've never laid together with someone like we are right now."

"Neither have I," he admitted.

A part of Esme wanted to explore the island he'd gotten for her, and the other didn't want to move from where they were. She placed her head against his chest, and Carlisle laid flat on his back with his arms around her.

"Can we just lie like this all day?" she asked with a quick laugh.

He gave a closed mouth smile and kissed the top of her head, "We can do anything you want, Esme."

She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, tracing her fingers over the lines of his chest and abdomen. Her past seemed like nothing but a distant memory and Esme knew everything she'd gone through was worth it. She felt safe and complete in Carlisle's arms, and knew deep down he felt exactly the same.

Her thoughts went back to the actuality that he'd actually purchased such a wonderful, romantic place. It was completely surreal and she knew she couldn't make the call of staying confined to one room for the entire week. She owed it to Carlisle to go out and enjoy everything about their own private getaway, and though her first choice was to lay in bed with him for the next seven days, roaming the island with him was a very close second.

Esme turned to face him and leaned herself up onto her elbow with an ear to ear grin. "Let's go," she said, "Let's go roam around and see the island."

Carlisle snickered at her enthusiasm and outlined her shoulder blade with his fingertips, "Alright. Let's go."

…

The two of them spent the day wandering around the empty beaches of what Carlisle decided to call Isle Esme.

He tried to be somewhat of a guide, though he didn't know any better than Esme did. They discovered tall cliffs, private waterfalls and a number of animals inhabiting the island that they both fed off of for the first time.

For hours they swam in the clear, clean waters that complimented the feel of paradise. Esme found it particularly entertaining that she could stay under the water forever if she wanted to. It truly was a fantasy brought to life by some miracle, or magic.

The best part of it all was that there was no one around to judge them. The last hour before the sun set, Carlisle and Esme sat on top of the highest cliff they could find and let the sunrays decorate their skin. It was a rare opportunity to soak in everything around them without the fear of being exposed for being something other than human. The experience was equally liberating for each of them.

Carlisle laid flat on his back and looked over at Esme, "You know if someone told me a hundred years ago that this is where I'd be, I would have thought they were crazy."

She smiled and placed her hand over his, "I didn't think anything like this even existed. I don't even have words to describe this place."

"Well, it's yours," he said with a grin.

"It's _ours_," she corrected him.

Carlisle loved when she grouped the two of them together. It was just another welcomed reminder that she was his to have forever, and likewise the other way around.

A sigh of contentment left his mouth and he closed his eyes, trying to take full advantage of the sun before it went back behind the horizon.

Over the next twenty minutes or so, Esme didn't say much, though Carlisle could see she stirred uneasily a few times. Throughout the day, he sensed she wanted to tell him something, or ask him something but he hadn't pried.

Now, his curiosity began to get the better of him and he thought maybe a little push would help Esme get off her chest whatever she needed to.

Carlisle sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. He turned his head to face where Esme had now readjusted her position to match his.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked.

She flashed him a closed mouth smile and looked down with a nod. "Am I that transparent?"

He grinned, "I just kind of got the feeling that you wanted to say something."

"It's not a big deal, and I think I may already know the answer to my question, just on an instinct."

Carlisle waited, letting a few ideas roll in and out of his mind. He wasn't quite sure what Esme was wondering and her hesitation was making him a little anxious.

"We kind of came to the conclusion before that there are no consequences to, well, you know…" Her voice trailed off with a chuckle.

Carlisle smiled and gave her a nod, "Yeah."

"Does that mean, and I suppose this should have been a question of mine long before now, but does that mean we can never," Esme sighed, not wishing to bring anything heavy into their carefree world, "have children?"

Carlisle felt like her words passed through his chest like a knife. He knew he'd taken a lot from Esme by changing her into what he was. What he had failed to realize up until that moment was that he stripped her much more than he originally thought. He'd taken from her the ability to become a mother. From their constant conversations, Esme had mentioned more than once that she'd lost her only child as a human. It was a main contributor to her decision to give up her life.

Her genuine smile eased his mind for a moment, but the overwhelming guilt that stung every part of his body still began to win him over.

"Carlisle, it's okay," she said with a nod. She placed her hand on his knee, "I came to that conclusion on my own a long time ago. I just didn't know how to bring it up to you for confirmation. I almost asked Edward one day, but I just decided I'd wait for an appropriate time to ask you instead."

Carlisle couldn't bring himself back to the happy man he was just moments before. He pushed himself up to his feet and put his hands on his hips, staring out into the open ocean as the light was rapidly draining from the day.

"I didn't even have the thought of that in mind," he told her, "I'm sorry. I took everything from you."

"No," she said, shaking her head and standing up, "You didn't take anything from me Carlisle. I'm fine with it."

"It's not fair. I can't believe I didn't even… " He felt disgusted with himself for being so negligent.

Esme put her hand on his forearm, "I've always trusted you, Carlisle. Now I need you to trust me."

His eyes refocused on hers, "I do trust you."

"Good." A smile crept over her face and she looked him in the eyes, "I'm _fine_. Please don't let this effect your time with me here. I just wanted to know for sure, that's all."

"It's not fair to you."

Esme decreased the distance between them and stood up on her toes so her lips were close to his, "I'm happy," she whispered with an accompanied smile. She linked her arms around the back of his neck and planted a kiss on his lips. "So stop being unhappy right now."

Her order made him crack a smile and he agreed with a little more pushing on her behalf.

"Besides," she went on just as cheery, "Edward already told me he looks at me like a mother. He's all I need in a son. If I get to advise him and care for him and _scold_ him like a mother would…"

Carlisle laughed at the last part of the phrase.

"Then that will greatly fill that void. The two of you are all I need, Carlisle."

He sighed and eyed the dark blue sky that was streaked with random rays of pink and orange from the sun that was barely visible now.

"Carlisle…" Esme said again, unable to keep herself from smiling.

He realigned his eyes to meet hers, "Esme…"

She realized immediately that she had brought him back to the place he was in before their conversation had started. "How about if we go back to the house and not worry about the consequences of our actions?"

Carlisle let out a quick laugh as she pressed her lips against his again. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, "Alright."

Esme quickly parted from him and dragged him by the hand toward the edge of the high rock face they still stood on. She looked down over the edge. There was one final memory she had to erase from her mind and replace it with one that she knew she would enjoy.

Carlisle seemed to read her mind as she stood hesitantly by the edge of the cliff. He looked at her and before he could even say a word, she grabbed his hand and the two of them jumped.

Esme closed her eyes for a moment before taking in the scenery around them as if it was all moving in slow motion. Birds flew across the sky in front of them and the open ocean looked like a frozen piece of artwork. It was the perfect scene.

Carlisle's hand entwined with her own was the best part of the therapeutic jump. Like always, she felt safe and knew that when her feet hit the water and sent her body sprawling beneath the surface, that she would be alright.

The crash into the ocean almost made Esme lose grip on his hand, though she felt him give a gentle tug and never let her go, fighting off the uproar of the water that was created by the velocity of their bodies.

When both of them resurfaced, Esme pushed her hair out of her eyes and laughed, feeling exhilarated and free. Carlisle pulled her to him and stopped to admire her radiant smile.

"I love you," she said to him, after letting in a deep breath through her nose.

"I love you more," he told her, knowing he would get a reaction.

Esme shook her head, "I think we could have this argument all night if I said it back again. Who would win that battle?"

Carlisle moved his lips back to hers, "I'd let you win eventually."

"Eventually…" Her hand drifted to the back of his neck, then slicked his hair back away from his forehead.

"Eventually," he challenged with a half grin.

"Hmm…" she responded.

The two of them lingered in the water for a few seconds without saying anything. Esme looked over his shoulder toward the beach.

"I'll race you back," she told him playfully.

Carlisle snickered, "What happens if I win?"

"Anything you want."

He smiled, "Anything, huh?"

Esme couldn't keep her hands off of him and felt her level of passion rise at the tone of his voice and the halfhearted suggestive ring to his words.

Carlisle leaned in to kiss her again, but Esme grinned and bolted for the land that sat a few hundred yards away.

He spun around, smirking as she giggled while making her way through the water. He followed close behind, though never made a true attempt to win their playful competition and stumbled up onto the sand where she joking gloated over being faster than him.

He sighed and gave her a defeated grin, "I suppose you win, even though I think you may have cheated."

Esme pretended to be hurt, "Me? Cheat?"

Carlisle looked down and laughed, "So, what is it that you want?"

She grinned back and let out a snicker of her own, "You."

He smiled and didn't protest, meeting her halfway between where the two of them stood.

"You know," he told her, "I've never been able to let my guard down before. I guess it's because I've never really trusted anyone enough. I always felt like I had to be on edge, or on my toes at all times."

"How do you feel right now?" she asked him.

Carlisle sighed, "Like I don't have a care in the world. Like I could let you guide me blindly through life and not be worried." He gave another smile but Esme could see the seriousness in his eyes as he looked down for a moment before raising his head again to meet stare.

In that single moment, she felt like she could see everything he'd ever been through; all the pain he'd experienced from losing his loved ones, the difficult decisions, the fear of all the unknowns he'd had to overcome on his own; the guilt he carried for his choices to change her and Edward into the immortal beings they'd both become.

Esme put a hand on his face and brought him close to her in the same type of comforting hug he'd given to her when she discussed some of the more sensitive topics of her previous life. As he often stated to her, she also felt protective of him and cradled him gently against her.

"I don't think I could've ever dreamed up someone as perfect as you, Esme," he told her in a voice above a whisper, letting his short breaths decorate her neck as he spoke. "I love you."

She sighed and continued to hold him, running a hand slowly up and down his back. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "I love you, too."

Carlisle pulled back and gave her a short series of kisses. He smiled when she pushed his hair back again and let out a sigh of his own.

"So, do I still get my prize for winning?" she asked.

He kissed her again and nodded before scooping her off the ground and carrying her inside.


	22. Home

**Chapter 21**

Esme sat with her back against Carlisle's chest on top of the cliff they'd made their nightly spot to watch the sun set. His legs sat protectively on the outsides of hers and he never took his hands off of her.

His fingers grazed her arms, linked with her hands and he let his arms drape around her as the time passed far too quickly.

"I can't believe it's our last night here," she told him, sinking her body even closer into his. Her eyes closed pleasurably as the sigh he let out danced across her neck.

"Time flies," he said, rubbing her calf with his foot.

"It certainly does." Esme turned her head slightly and asked for a kiss without saying the words.

Carlisle planted one sensual kiss on her lips before they both returned their attention to the final rays of sun they would experience during their time on Isle Esme.

"You know," he said, "We could always just stay here."

She knew he was kidding and smiled without looking back at him, "Don't you have patients to tend to doctor?"

"They'll be just fine without me," he told her, kissing her neck and letting his teeth graze her skin, "I don't think I'll be able to concentrate much on my work anyway."

Esme closed her eyes again and hoped he would continue what he was doing. Her fingers squeezed his a little tighter. "Okay, let's stay."

Carlisle chuckled and Esme smiled.

"No, no," she changed her mind with a grin, "I need my Edward, too."

"_Your_ Edward?"

Esme turned to him and laughed, "You're not _jealous_ are you?"

"Hmm.." He looked elsewhere when she tried to make eye contact, pretending to be mad. It only took a few seconds for him to crack a smile.

Esme flipped around and pinned him on his back. She brought her lips to ear, "I love you. Have I told you that?"

Carlisle's hands ran across her back and he guided her mouth back to his. "Tell me again," he said.

"I love you," she whispered.

He looked up and brushed the strands of hair away from her eyes that hung down toward his face. "I love you, too."

"I wish we could stay here forever," she told him, "But I do miss Edward."

Carlisle grinned, "So do I. We'll be back there soon."

Esme glanced over her shoulder at the ocean, "We still have tonight."

He sighed and continued to smile, "We're going to have a lot of adjusting to do back home."

…

There were an endless number of trails where footprints were left in the snow all around the house from where Edward had gone hunting. While Carlisle and Esme were away, a huge snowstorm had hit, leaving just under a foot of snow on the Wisconsin landscape.

"What a change in scenery," Esme said, looking around. The sky was overcast and none of the trees had leaves. "I love it here, though."

Carlisle smiled and the two of them left their own sets of footprints as they made their way toward the house. Before either of them could even reach for the door handle, Edward swung it open and smiled.

Esme was the first to hug him. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and gushed over how much she missed him.

Carlisle gave Edward a handshake before immediately pulling him in for a hug. Both he and Esme were truly happy to be home and back in his company. They suspected he felt the same.

"So, how was it on the island?" he asked them, then turned to Esme, "Were you surprised?"

"I think I'm still in shock over that," she admitted, glancing at Carlisle for a moment before returning her attention back to Edward, "I can't even describe how beautiful it was there, Edward. You have to come with us next time. We were out in the sunlight without having to worry. It was so great."

Edward couldn't help but smile at Esme's happiness, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Lots of snow here, huh?" Carlisle asked, looking around the yard before he and Esme completely entered the house and closed the door behind them.

"Yeah," Edward told them, "Two days after you left there was a pretty big storm. There was even more snow than there is now out there. This is nothing."

"This may be our last winter here," he said aloud, to neither Edward nor Esme in particular. He hadn't discussed moving too in depth with Esme, and had wanted to wait until they were back at home to bring it up seriously.

Esme glanced up and made eye contact with him and gave a slight nod. She wasn't in the dark about their plans to move, though had no idea how soon it would actually be. She knew she would be happy regardless of their location, though there were so many fond memories of the house they'd all established as a home together in Ashland.

The three of them stood by the doorway for a moment before Edward intervened. "Go unpack. We can talk about this later."

Esme looked around the kitchen and the living room, both of which were in her immediate sight. Everything looked perfectly kept and in place.

Edward smiled and raised his eyebrows, "Yes, I've kept the place clean. I'm hurt that you're so surprised about that."

She laughed, "I'm not surprised."

"You can't lie to me, Esme," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Carlisle grinned and decided to take the heat off of her, "_I'm_ surprised."

Edward waved his hands, "No faith."

The two of them crossed through the living room and went down the short hallway to unpack everything from their week away. When they returned to where Edward lounged in the corner of the living room, Esme was determined to discuss where they would be relocating.

"Hey, that isn't a bad idea," Edward said, looking at her.

She looked surprised, as she still was at times from him being able to read her thoughts so clearly. Carlisle looked at her, then to Edward, hoping to be filled in on what he was talking about.

"Maine," he said, "Lots of snow, long winters and probably a fair share of overcast days. Maybe it would help with our cause of not only specializing in afterhours jobs. People may not be so guarded around us if we start to make appearances during the day more."

Carlisle looked at Esme and she gave him a smile, "It was the first state that popped into my mind."

He grinned back and gave her a nod, then looked back to Edward for his further opinion on the location.

"It's up to you," he said, "I don't know much personally about the area. Maybe the three of us can just head out there and if it doesn't work out then we'll relocate somewhere else. We have time on our side."

"That's true," Esme said. She looked at Carlisle again.

"Okay. I suppose we can start making our way east in a couple of weeks. I always like to give notice to the hospitals I work at out of courtesy."

She looked back over at him and grinned to herself, then changed her expression when Edward sat shaking his head with a smile.

"I know, he's such a gentleman and handsome, too," Edward said, teasing Esme as she looked at Carlisle with love-struck eyes.

Esme gave him a shocked expression at his playful banter, then quickly smiled and shook her head.

"You know, it's fun that I can tease you both now," he said with a laugh, "For a while your thoughts were so private and anxiety-ridden about each other. It was overwhelming even for me. Now, I can openly share my pain of having to hear everything that's going on in your minds."

Carlisle shook his head and looked at Edward.

"What?" he asked, still grinning, "Do you think I _like_ having to know everything that's going on? I'm just saying that now that it's no big secret, I can use joking about it as an outlet to all the unwanted information I get."

Carlisle put his hands behind his head and outstretched his legs, "It's good to be home."

"Why do I sense some sarcasm in your voice?" Edward asked him.

"There's no sarcasm," he said, smiling as he did.

"You may be smarter than me," Edward said, "And only by a small margin at that, but I have a sixth sense that you don't. I know when you're lying."

Carlisle snickered, causing Esme to do the same. Edward, too, couldn't hold back a closed mouth grin that eventually broke way to a full smile.

"Are you two hungry?" he asked, "It's been kind of boring hunting alone all week."

Carlisle turned to Esme, who smiled and nodded.

"Oh, yeah," Edward asked, "How were the animals out on the island?"

"Different," Carlisle and Esme said at the same time. "But they were good," she added, "I think I still prefer the deer out here, though." He nodded in agreement.

"Alright, I'm starving," Edward said. He looked out the window as night began to settle in.

"Let's go," Carlisle said, grabbing Esme by the hand.

She smiled and the two of them followed Edward out the door, taking off once their feet hit the freshly packed snow.

Esme took in the smell of the winter air, combined with the scent left behind by the fireplace from their home. It was almost a magical aroma that went hand in hand with the feel of the holidays.

She remembered the way the twenty degree weather used to sting the sides of her face as a human and vaguely retraced a memory of going down a large hill on an old wooden sled when she was only of about eight or nine years old.

While Esme knew she could have spent the rest of her days on the tropical island, there was something special about the winter and the snow that left her with a warm feeling. For whatever reason, she complimented her surroundings with the feelings of family. She knew she had that in Carlisle and Edward.

"I'm going this way," Carlisle told her, releasing her hand only to go stalk a nearby animal.

"Alright," she told him, still smiling from her visions.

He smiled back and took her face between his hands, leaving her with a kiss. "I love you," he said.

"I love you more."

Carlisle gave her a wink before taking off a little to the right.

Esme could hear that Edward had already tracked down his prey and decided to get back to the hunt. She easily came across a deer with large, profound antlers. It stood alone, eating off a small shrub carelessly, before straitening up at the sense of a predator close by. Less than five seconds later, Esme had made it her meal, not wasting a drop of the deer's blood, before sighing in contentment.

She looked at the blood that covered the white snow and tried her best to clean up before meeting back with Carlisle. A smile formed on her face automatically from seeing his and she made her way through the trees to be next to him.

Carlisle leaned in to give her a kiss, but Esme pointed in alarm, "Look out!"

A snowball came flying, crashing against the side of his head. Edward's laughter could be heard in the distance before he, too, appeared right next to them.

Esme began to laugh out loud and Edward put a hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely with a guilty smile, "I'm just in a teasing type of mood. It was lonely here without you for a week. I guess I'm just happy you're back."

Esme seemed to instantly melt at his comments, though Carlisle gave him a playful shove.

"You have a funny way of showing it," he said with a quick laugh.

"I'll stop," Edward told him, holding out his hand, "Truce?"

"Sure." Carlisle shook his head, though Esme continued to giggle.

Edward walked a few feet in front of them, allowing Carlisle to go back on his word and return the favor with a snowball to the back of his head.

He flipped around with a smile.

"Now we're even," Carlisle told him with a laugh.

"And here I thought you were a man who kept your word," Edward joked.

He continued to walk ahead of them, though looked back on occasion to make sure he wasn't going to be hit with any more snowballs, sensing it crossed Esme's mind a few times throughout their stroll.

"I won't do it," she told him, realizing what he was doing.

Edward snickered and led the way home, kicking snow off his shoes as he entered. He looked around the place and turned as Carlisle and Esme walked in.

"I'm going to miss it here," he told them.

"Me too," Esme agreed.

Carlisle nodded, "So will I," then added, "But it's time to move on."


	23. To Family and New Beginnings

**Chapter 22**

The northeast part of the country easily became home for Carlisle, Esme and Edward. In the middle of the winter, the overcast days outnumbered the sunny ones and there was just as much snow on the ground in Maine as there had been in Wisconsin. Like their home in Ashland, Carlisle found an oversized home with a private driveway that went for more than a quarter of a mile off the main roads. It was even more private and tucked away than their former house and was surrounded by nothing by an endless forest of trees.

Esme had fallen in love with the place when she first saw it. While everything about the house was perfect for them, she saw lots of potential in regards to how she could update and decorate the place to spruce it up a little.

Carlisle began working at hospital not long after they arrived. He quickly established a routine, working mostly nights, though when he was forced to work during the day, he would simply leave before the sun fully came up.

Edward was able to begin his studies again, posing as a junior in high school to buy their family some extra time in the area. As much as he wanted to go on to pursue his studies further at a college or university, he understood the importance of Carlisle's suggestions. Though he still left it up to Edward in regards to what he wanted to do, Edward agreed to spend the remaining part of his "junior year" at the local high school, as well as the following senior year before attending college.

"I wish I could cook for you," Esme said, making her way around the kitchen she'd spend hours decorating.

Carlisle and Edward both sat reading in the living room and looked up in her direction.

Esme rounded her way into where they sat, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a cup of tea with some warm cinnamon bread and butter?" Her eyes drifted out the window where the snow fell outside.

Carlisle smiled, "It would be nice. It's been a lot longer for me, but I do missing sitting down for dinners." He stood up and crossed the room to be next to her.

Edward nodded in agreement, "I miss that kind of stuff, too."

"How do you both like it here?" Carlisle asked them, "We've all been so busy getting established, I haven't really taken the time to ask."

"The first few weeks of school have been okay," Edward said. He turned to Esme, "I've been doing all my homework." He grinned.

Esme snickered and leaned into Carlisle, who draped an arm around her shoulders. "Any… temptations?" he asked him.

Edward shook his head, "No," then added to see if Carlisle would reaction, "Not really."

Carlisle's smile faded slightly, "Not really?"

He laughed, "No. There's nothing. It's been fine. A group of girls in class have been egging one of them on to ask me out on a date. How interesting that would be." He raised his eyebrows.

"I like a bold woman," Esme said with a smile.

"What if I brought a human girl home?" he asked with a laugh.

Carlisle smiled and raised his eyebrows then looked at Esme, who was also grinning.

"I don't even want to think about the complications that could raise," Carlisle said.

Edward smiled, "Don't worry. There's no one particularly appealing to me so far. I'm not all that concerned about my love life, anyway."

Esme began to wonder if Carlisle had met any female vampires along the way that would be a good match for Edward. She looked at him, quickly realizing that Edward could see everything she was thinking.

"I'm fine," he said again with a chuckle, "You don't have to try setting me up with anyone. I'm perfectly content. I get enough of the backlash from the two of you. It's all the lovey dovey business I need right now."

"You wouldn't want to consider it?" Esme asked.

He shook his head, "I'll let you know when I get lonely. Then maybe we can talk about it."

Carlisle looked a little confused, but seemed to get the gist of the conversation.

"I was just wondering if you had any female friends that might be a good match for Edward," Esme asked, "Maybe someone you met along the way."

"I wish I did," he said, looking over at him, "But the only ones I've known were married, or part of The Volturi."

"Yeah, I don't feel like being executed for courting Aro's wife," Edward said with a laugh, "Like I said, I'm fine."

Carlisle laughed at his comment and Esme shook her head.

"I'm just thinking of you, that's all," she told him, "But I'll leave it alone."

Edward nodded with a grin, "Thank you."

"Any homework from today?" she asked him, changing the subject with a smile.

He walked slowly across the room and held up a paper of math problems, "Done."

"Wow," she said, "I'm impressed."

Edward shook his head with a light laugh, "Can I go out and play now, or do you want to check it?"

"I trust you," she said to him.

"Well, I'm going to hunt because the girl sitting next to me in class I nearly attacked at the end of the day." He made his way toward the door and looked of his shoulder at Carlisle.

"If you keep making those comments-" Carlisle started.

"I know, I'll be pulled out of school," he said, "I'm just joking."

"He knows," Esme said, returning her attention to Carlisle.

Edward slinked out the backdoor, pulling it tightly as he left before he whisked away into the woods.

"Are you happy?" Carlisle asked Esme.

She nodded and looked up at him with a smile, "I'm very happy."

"You don't mind that we moved out here?"

"Not at all," she told him, "As long as I'm with you, we could go anywhere."

Carlisle brought his lips to hers and gave her kiss, once which Esme prolonged.

"I hope we're not driving him crazy," she said.

He shook his head, "I try not to do this kind of stuff when he's around. We've been alright. I don't think he's uncomfortable or anything."

"No, I don't either," she said, "I just want to make sure I'm not stepping on his toes. I mean, it was just the two of you for a while and now it's the three of us and-"

Carlisle put his hand on the side of her face, then beneath her chin, "Everything's fine. Edward loves you."

Esme sighed, "I just want to make sure he's alright."

He kissed her again, "He's fine, Esme. I'll talk to him if you want, but I don't think there's anything to worry about."

She nodded, "Okay."

"I'll talk to him," Carlisle repeated.

Esme sighed and smiled, "Alright."

"I have to admit, though," he went on, "It is much harder to control myself around you than it was my thirst."

Esme laughed and continued to prolong their physical encounter, "I know the feeling."

Carlisle picked her up and carried her down the hall, keeping Esme smiling.

"When do you think Edward will be back?" she asked.

"He's not in the area," Carlisle said, "His scent is long gone." He brought his mouth to hers and Esme kissed him with an intense enthusiasm.

"We might as well take advantage of the empty house," she said.

Carlisle snickered and kicked the door closed to their bedroom.

…

Edward and Esme sat chatting about his week at school on a cloudy Friday afternoon. Carlisle was on a shift at the hospital and was expected to be home around midnight.

"These classes are so repetitive," Edward told her, shaking his head, "I could get A's without even attending."

Esme smiled, "It must be tough being the most handsome and the smartest in the class."

He smiled, "I'd rather be the dumbest in higher education."

"You will soon," she told him.

"Gee, thanks."

Esme laughed, "I didn't mean about the dumb part."

The two of them shared a quick laugh before there was a knock at the door. At the same time, Edward and Esme both recognized the human scent. Neither of them had been paying attention and so whoever had stumbled upon their hidden residence arrived with surprise.

"Who could that be?" Esme asked with a curious, somewhat uneasy expression.

"I don't know," Edward told her in a whispery voice.

"Someone from school?"

He shook his head and took in a deep breath, "I don't recognize the scent."

Esme held up a finger and headed for the door. She attempted to peek out the window though wasn't able to on her stride across the room.

There was another knock before Esme turned the knob and flung open the front door. An older, robust woman stood on the steps with a basket filled with assorted fruits and a bottle of wine. Her breaths filled the air from the chill in the weather.

"Hello," Esme greeted with a smile, thankful for the combination of clouds and trees that blocked out the sunlight.

"Hello," the woman said back with a drawl Esme recognized to be from the south, "My name is Dorothy O'Keefe. My husband Jim and I are the only ones who live nearby. We were just informed that we actually have some "neighbors"." Her voice trailed off with a laugh at the word, considering their house was still a good distance away.

Esme gave the woman a friendly smile, "I'm Esme Cullen. Please come in."

"Thank you," she said with a nod. Esme held the door as the woman stepped in. She immediately noticed Edward and gave him a friendly nod, "Hello, young man."

"This is my brother Edward."

Edward reached his hand out, "Nice to meet you. Dorothy is it?"

The woman smiled, "Yes. It's nice to meet you, as well."

"My husband is at work," Esme went on.

"He's the doctor, right?"

Edward snickered and Esme continued to smile, "Yes. I guess that's part of living in a small town, huh?"

"I don't mean to be nosy," Dorothy told her sincerely, "But when someone knew comes to town, everyone tends to know about it. It was that way when Jim and I moved here from Virginia years and years ago." She looked down at the basket in her hand, "I don't mean to be a bother. We just wanted to welcome you to town. I'm sorry we didn't get out here sooner, and Jim's working but he supplied the wine."

"Thank you," Esme said with a nod, "This is very kind of you and your husband."

"Oh, it's nothing," she assured her, "It's how we all used to do it in the south. These northern folk don't know their manners at times." She laughed.

Edward smiled, finding the old woman to be warm and good at heart from her thoughts.

"Where did you move from?" Dorothy asked.

"Ashland," Esme told her, "Wisconsin."

"Oh, so you're used to all this snow, I suppose."

"Yes. We had a big blizzard just before we made our way here."

"It was a change for us when we first moved, but I just love it."

"A light snowfall can be really nice," Esme agreed. She handed the basket to Edward who made his way into the kitchen to place it on the table.

"Well, it was very nice to meet you, Esme," her eyes moved into the kitchen, "And you Edward."

"Nice to meet you," Edward told her, "And thank you again for the gift."

"Thank you so much," Esme told the woman.

"You're very welcome," Dorothy said with a nod, "I'll probably see you in passing."

"Of course," she said back.

"Take care," she said, heading back toward the door, "Have a good evening."

"You too," they both said.

"Be careful with the ice," Edward said back, "I know there were a few patches on the sidewalk."

Dorothy looked over her shoulder and smiled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Esme made sure the woman safely made her way back to her vehicle before closing the door. She looked at Edward who had a closed mouth smile on his face.

"It's a good thing we've harnessed our thirst," he said with a laugh. He removed an apple from the basket and tossed it in the air a few times, then looked at Esme. "What would happen if we drink the wine?"

She laughed, "I don't know if we should test that. Carlisle will come home and find us drunk."

Edward laughed, "That would be quite funny if you ask me."

"I don't think it would taste good," she told him, "Nothing does. That fruit isn't even slightly appealing to me. Neither is the wine."

"What if we mixed it with blood?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Esme thought about it for a moment then shook her head with a smile.

"We have to test out our theories," he said, removing the bottle to read the label.

"No," she told him with a laugh.

"Well, I'm going to try it."

Edward opened up a cabinet and removed a drinking glass. He managed to get the bottle open and poured himself a half of a glass.

Esme watched curiously to see what his reaction would be.

He put his nose up to the glass and didn't seem appealed by the scent, though took a sip, making a disapproving face as he did.

"Ehh…" he said, crinkling his nose, "It's no good."

"Told you," Esme said.

"But what about the mixing it part?" Edward asked.

Esme laughed as the true teenager in him was being brought to the surface. She thought he was no different than a human boy of his age and cracked a smile.

"I'm going to hunt something down and try not to drink it all at once. I think we should wait for Carlisle and have a toast."

She shrugged and Edward sensed he was winning her over. "I suppose just a toast wouldn't be a bad thing. We have taken a big step in all our lives together."

He grinned, "I'll be back."

Esme agreed to Edward's plan and kept herself busy by cleaning and reading when he was gone. She read through the card that was given to her by Dorothy that was signed by her and Jim.

Again, she thought to herself how kind the woman was for the gesture. She kept the basket on the table for decoration as she thought it was a cute accent on the neatly decorated kitchen.

It wasn't long before Edward returned, darting inside, grabbing the wine as he did so, before returning to the yard to combine the two elements.

Esme waited for him to return, feeling her thirst get the best of her from the closeness of Edward's meal. The fresh blood was too much for her to bear and she took it upon herself to hunt while he was mixing his concoction.

When she returned, he had the new beverage on the table next to the fruit basket and had three glasses filled.

"Now we just have to wait for Carlisle," Edward said as Esme returned.

She grinned, "I don't know if he'll even want to drink it."

"If I tell him it's for scientific purposes he won't be able to resist."

She laughed, thinking this was probably true and decided not to fight it. When he finally returned, Esme knew he recognized the scent of blood in the house almost immediately.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking at Esme.

"The smell?" she asked him.

He nodded.

"One of our "neighbors"," Edward started, "Came to bring us a little welcoming gift. It was filled with fruits and wine. The basket is on the table."

Carlisle backpedaled and glanced into the kitchen, eyeing the three glasses on the table at the same time as the basket.

"I decided to combine the wine with deer's blood," Edward told him, "And don't worry, the woman is okay."

Carlisle rolled his eyes and looked at Esme.

"She was a lovely, nice woman," she told him.

"Have you ever had wine?" Edward asked Carlisle.

"The Volturi used to drink something while I was there. I must admit it was slightly tempting from the scent of it, but I don't know what was blended in it. They called it wine, but no I've never had it, myself."

"Would you care to toast?" Edward asked, "We've been through so much together and this is a new beginning. I know we all lived together in Ashland, but this is the first home we all moved into together at one time."

Carlisle could sense the genuineness in his voice, "You're right." His eyes drifted to Esme with a smile.

She smiled back and immediately took his hand in hers.

Edward called them to the kitchen, "What do you think?"

Carlisle looked back at Esme. She shrugged and smiled and squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"I suppose we do have a reason to toast," he said.

Edward handed each of them a glass before he raised his. "To family and new beginnings."

Carlisle looked over at him and smiled, and Esme did the same. They each raised his to match.

"To family and new beginnings," Esme agreed with a nod.


	24. Dark Angel

**Chapter 23**

Carlisle and Esme had become quite comfortable at their home in Maine. Several years had passed and they managed to keep a secretive, yet slightly social profile in town without looking conspicuous. Esme enjoyed her brief encounters with some of the other human women she came across, and continued to have a friendly relationship with Dorothy.

There was one thing that began to worry Carlisle after Edward had moved on from high school to higher education. He'd begun to suspect that his views on life had been altered, and recognized that he was becoming more easily frustrated, which was completely out of character for Edward.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Carlisle asked, finally feeling comfortable enough, and concerned enough, to ask. It was his intention to wait for his son to open up, but enough time had passed where he knew something was completely off about his demeanor.

Edward was edgy, and he was having trouble hiding it. "People," he said shaking his head, "I just can't stand some of the people I read about in the papers, and that we've even talked about in my classes."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head again, "They're just awful. Killers, worse... It makes me want to do the same to them; rip their heads off, let them feel helpless."

Carlisle's mind drifted back to his thoughts about Esme's former husband Charles for a moment. He had the same feelings when she had first told him about what he put her through in her human life. His fists clenched and he shook off the thought before returning his attention to Edward.

"So, you understand how I feel," he said with a hint of determination in his voice.

"I do," Carlisle told him. He looked over at Esme who was trying not to be nosy by reading a book. "But that doesn't mean you should act on it."

"Why not? They don't deserve to live, Carlisle. I mean, this _is_ what we're _supposed_ to do."

"No," he shook his head, "We don't have to do anything."

"What if they deserve it?" Edward asked, gritting his teeth. "I listened to a girl in class talk about how she was stabbed and almost died. Why does the man that did that to her deserve to live?"

Carlisle sighed, "I understand how you feel. It doesn't make sense, but they, too, will meet their maker one day."

"Maybe not," Edward said, shaking his head. He looked out the window, "Maybe _we_ could be the worst thing they'd ever face. Who knows what happens when we die? If there's nothing, why should they live a normal life while these poor people suffer, or worse?"

"It's not up to us to play God."

"I'm not trying to play God," he told him, "I just want to give people what they truly deserve. I've passed by people with evil thoughts. I've seen them plan and fantasize about horrible things. You can't possible understand what that's like."

Carlisle nodded, "I don't know what that's like, and it must be extremely painful."

"I want to set things right," Edward said, "I want to be the one to do justice to these unworthy _monsters_."

Esme's attention was now fully focused on the two of them. She wanted to put in her part, but continued to allow Edward to vent what he was feeling. It was the first time she had seen him so adamant and upset. She felt for him and wanted to give him a hug, though sensed it wasn't something he wanted at that moment.

"Try not to let it consume you," Carlisle told him, "I tend to think that things fall into place as they should, even if it's not right away." He looked over at Esme as he spoke, thinking of how perfectly his world had turned out.

"Well, everything doesn't always end up to be perfect," Edward said, reading his mind.

"Things come full circle," Carlisle said, "I believe that."

"I don't know if I do," Edward said, openly disagreeing with him for the first time, "I mean, we learned that a man got away with everything and confessed on his death bed. He lived his entire life after committing such horrible, horrible crimes."

"If you believe as I do, he'll get what's coming to him in the next life."

Edward scowled and looked around, "I don't know what I believe." His eyes scanned the room and he tried not to make eye contact with Esme out some sense of guilt for his outburst, "What if I was put here to do that justice?"

Carlisle looked at him and tried to think of something to say. He knew that Edward was going through something deeper than he could personally relate to.

"Carlisle," he went on, "I think it's an amazing thing what you've been able to do with your life, and all of the guidance you and Esme have given me."

The tone of his voice made Esme nervous and she stood up to join them, crossing the room. She stood with one shoulder next to Carlisle and the other nearly bumping against Edward.

"I truly believe you've come all this way to do good on this planet," Edward continued, "The two of you are the greatest two people I've ever known. Your hearts are always in the right place and you've steered me in the right direction. Esme, you're like a mother to me and you've been a huge contributor to my positive outtake on life. Carlisle, I respect everything you do for people down at the hospital and the guidance you've given me through this life is not comparable to anything I can think of."

Carlisle wanted to jump in but let him continue.

"Your purpose here has more than been served. You changed the meaning of what a "vampire" is. You really _are_ the good guy. What if that's not my purpose. What if my purpose isn't to be pure and good; not bad, but not good. Maybe I'm kind of a dark angel, in a sense. Maybe I was brought into _this_ life to get rid of all the bad… souls out there."

Carlisle began to shake his head, "You're good, Edward."

"I don't feel good," he said, "I feel angry… and thirsty."

Esme made eye contact with him for the first time since he'd started talking, "Edward, you are good. You're truly good."

"How good am I?" he asked, "You and Carlisle don't want to do what I've been fantasizing about for weeks now." He looked at Esme and pictured her ex-husband's face, "Esme, I would kill someone if they hurt you, or even tried to."

Her face softened and she felt her chest tighten, "I know, Edward, but no one is going to hurt me."

"Anymore," he said, regretfully triggering memories of her former life. Edward shook his head, "I'm sorry. I don't want you to have to think of painful memories."

"It's okay," she assured him with a nod, "I was angry too for a while, and scared before that, but I don't feel that way anymore. I'm happy now. I have you and Carlisle. You're my family."

Edward sighed, "That's what is going to make this so hard."

"What?" she asked.

Carlisle looked at him, "Edward-"

"I'm leaving," he told them before Carlisle could finish.

"Leaving?" Esme shouted.

"I have to," he told her, "I'm sorry. I need to get away. I have to do what I feel is right."

Esme looked over at Carlisle, who continued to try searching Edward's expression for a more in depth reason.

"I won't try to force you to stay," Carlisle told him, "But I'm going to be honest, I don't want you to go."

"I don't want you to go, either," Esme said.

He looked down, "I have to. I have to see what's out there and if how I'm feeling is right. I can live off human blood justifiably. I'd be killing these men who kill off innocent people day in, and day out. I'd be saving lives in my own way."

Carlisle wanted to protest and tell him his thinking was wrong, and he knew Edward could see that in his thoughts, but he respectively remained silent regarding his opinion.

"Thank you," Edward told him genuinely, reading his intentions.

"We don't want you to go, Edward," Esme repeated, "Please stay."

He sighed and shook his head, "I have to do this. I have to know if it feels as right as I think it will. Like I said, I could save lives in my own way and rid the earth of these monsters. Do you know how many innocent woman and children out there are probably being attacked as we speak? I can find these guys, read their minds and get rid of them before they have a chance to carry out their plans."

Carlisle looked at him, knowing his heart was in the right place, though equally knew the damage anger could place on someone's soul, and livelihood. He had seen anger's effects and how easily it could pull a person out of character.

No one said anything as the three of them stood together by the front steps of their home. The beautiful autumn atmosphere filled will leaves and the crisp scent of burning firewood was overcome by a darkness from Edward's absence-to-be.

"I'm sorry if this hurts you, but I have to go," Edward said, concluding the discussion.

Carlisle knew nothing he could say or do would convince him to stay, "I hate to see you go, but do as you feel is right. This door is always open. We'll be here for a few more years to come. After that, if you remember a discussion the three of us had, I'll make an executive decision right now to move to Rochester, New York." His eyes drifted to Esme's and she gave him a nod of approval.

Edward didn't know where his choices would lead him, but he welcomed the information, knowing he would eventually want to visit Carlisle and Esme in time.

"Okay," he said.

Esme grabbed him and pulled him tightly to her, "Please stay." She whispered her final plea into his ear and backed away, hoping it made a difference.

"I'll be in touch in time," he told them, "But I have to go. I'm sorry." He looked at Carlisle, "Thank you for everything. There are no words that can measure up to what you've helped me through, and what you've taught me. I hope you understand."

Carlisle hugged him with a nod, "Good luck Edward. Please be safe."

"You, too."

"Stay true to who you are."

Edward nodded though didn't respond. He shifted his eyes between the two of them for a few seconds before he disappeared from sight.

…

Carlisle and Esme sat on the step by the doorway for hours. Afternoon soon turned to evening, and evening to night. They talked for a long time about the boy they looked at like a son, hoping he would return after blowing off some steam.

When the morning rays began to trickle through the trees, Esme felt her hope slowly slipping away. She felt it in her heart that Edward would not be back and there was a deep pain that lingered in her core.

She was thankful Carlisle was off from work that day and looked to him for comfort and understanding. She knew the two of them were close, and for her sake, he hadn't gone into deep venting sessions in regards to his own emotions.

"I can't believe he's gone," Esme said, shaking her head, not wanting to move from the steps where they last spoke to Edward.

Carlisle shook his head, "If it's something he needs to do, it's for the best. He needs to decide what he wants and needs from this life on his own terms."

She sighed, "I hope nothing happens to him."

"He's smart, and he has a good heart."

Carlisle found his mind drift to some of the drifters he'd met along the way, and the nightmarish image of the sewer dwellers who had turned him. A vision of Edward, red-eyed and drooling at the mouth with venom almost made him cringe. He prayed that his son would not turn out to be like them, and that his pure intentions would guide him down a more positive road.

"You'll never leave me, will you?" Carlisle asked, looking over at Esme. He suddenly felt the realization that things could change so abruptly. He could easily be left with the same nothing, the same emptiness he'd experienced for so long. Things had gone so well in the recent years that the thought didn't cross his mind much.

Esme's eyes widened and she linked her arm through his, "Never, Carlisle." She shook her head, "I could never leave you. My biggest fear is not having you. My second biggest was not having Edward."

She continued to look as he stared into the open space around them. Leaves fell from the trees and seemingly fittingly, clouds overtook the sun, giving the early October sky a darker feel.

"Carlisle," she said again.

He turned his head to face her. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt defeated and slightly fearful that his old life could take over his future.

"I love you," she told him, "I promise you I will never leave."

He grinned, though Esme knew it was a forced half smile. His eyes still told her that his thoughts were far away and concerned.

"So, I won't come home from work one night to an empty house?" he asked her with a joking laugh, though there were obvious serious undertones to his voice.

"No," she told him, shaking her head, "Unless I'm out hunting." A smile crossed her face.

Carlisle tried to keep his features light, but his eyes easily gave away what was going on in his mind.

"You're the love of my life," Esme went on, "If anything, _I_ should be scared about losing _you_."

He shook his head, "That'll never happen."

"Please trust me when I tell you the same thing," she told him, "If I didn't have you…" her thoughts drifted before she was able to come up with a scenario, "then I might as well just go to that Volturi family and have them get rid of me."

Carlisle's eyes met hers and she knew her words hurt him from his expression, "Never, Esme. I can't even think of something like that happening to you."

"Will you ever leave me?" she asked, turning the tables on him.

"No," he shook his head, "I wouldn't make it one day without you."

"There are a lot of things to fear out there," she said, "But just know that you'll never have to fear living even one day without me. I'm yours forever as long as you'll have me, Carlisle. I hope you know that by now."

He pulled her to his body and she engulfed herself in him. "I do," he said, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I can't imagine everything you've had to go through. But you'll never have to go through any of it alone again."

Carlisle studied her expression and couldn't bring himself to smile, despite the sure ring to her words. She brought her mouth to his and he closed his eyes, feeling some of the weight on his shoulders subside from her touch.

"I'm sorry," he said again quietly, "I don't doubt you. I just know I wouldn't be able to go on if I lost you."

"Neither would I," she told him gently.

He sighed and pulled her tightly against him again, feeling her hands decorate his back soothingly.

"I hope Edward will be okay," he said, glancing around the trees that surrounded them and the house.

Esme sighed, "He will." She said it in a way to try to convince herself, "It's not going to be the same without him here."

"I know," Carlisle agreed. He broke apart from Esme and took her by the hand. They headed back inside, both looking over their shoulders with hope that Edward would break through the trees, or be walking up the driveway.

When there was nothing but leaves that continued to fall, Carlisle allowed Esme inside first before closing the door behind them.


	25. Moving Forward

**Chapter 24**

Esme printed neatly onto a piece of paper, carefully writing each individual letter of the note she was writing to Edward. In the past two weeks since he had been gone, Esme had never left the house without pinning notes on each of the doors that lead into their home.

She replaced them only if they were ripped or, on one occasion, where she'd suspected that the wind had played its part in tearing the thing sheet of paper from where it lied beneath a tack.

Since then, Esme had begun to use two tacks per door to assure her messages would not come free.

Her eyes glanced over what she had written to make sure it was neat enough to read and strait to the point.

_Edward,_

_ We just left the house to hunt. Please, as you should know, come inside and make yourself comfortable. We won't be gone long. Please stay at least until we return. We love you._

_ Carlisle & Esme_

There was a lingering hope that Edward's prolonged absence would be short lived and that he would return home once he realized what he wanted. Esme didn't know as much as Carlisle about what was out there, or what risks Edward was potentially taking by wandering alone. She just hoped he made smart decisions that would keep him safe in his travels.

Esme took the note and pinned it on the front door of the house as she exited to hunt. The one on the back door remained intact and so she was able to leave the house with a sense of contentment, knowing that if Edward did return, he would at least feel welcome.

Her eyes scanned the trees of the late Saturday morning. She knew Carlisle would be arriving home from work soon, and wanted to be back at the house to greet him. The question he asked about him returning to an empty house still haunted her, and she wanted to leave him without even a second's worth of doubt that she would be waiting for him, as she intended to do for the rest of her days.

The hunt, however, couldn't wait and she scampered into the nearby forest to track down something to drink. Her senses never steered her in the wrong direction and she followed them to a small clearing where she had more than her fair share of choices for a meal.

In her prolonged stays at the house for fear that Edward would return and change his mind upon not finding either of them there, Esme had neglected to give in her thirst until the last possible moments. She knew Carlisle would advise against it, and so she kept the minor detail to herself.

The rush of the deer's blood, each time, was overwhelming and rich. It occasionally made her mind drift to the effects the sensation of human blood had, had on her that one time. Because of this, she knew it wasn't smart to go so long without hunting and decided that she would change her mind set on the days to come.

In the far distance, several of the deer that had been feeding in the field had stopped to drift, looking back at where Esme now rose from the position she had been in while feeding.

For a moment, she felt a strong sense of guilt for taking their family member from them. Although it was a matter of survival, Esme still had genuine remorse for taking its life. It was something she'd become accustomed to and thoroughly enjoyed, though the personal nature of killing the animal still bothered her, at times.

She let the thoughts roll of her back, knowing it was most likely Edward's recent departure that was tugging on her heart strings. She hadn't been able to fully pull herself out of the funk she was in, and neither had Carlisle. Between the two of them, their two weeks of moping was enough to last someone a year. She knew they had to start adjusting to their new circumstances.

Esme made her way back home, realizing Carlisle was yet to arrive from work. She entered through the back, realizing the note was still in its place and that the house was empty.

Her eyes drifted around the living room, and then she decided to wander down to glance into the room that was set up for Edward. Everything was as he had left it. A single shirt was neatly placed on the end of his bed that was simply there for decoration.

Reading material was scattered on top of a small desk, though Esme suspected it was in an order he preferred. The books he had been using for his classes were stacked neatly by the chair that accompanied the desk and writing utensils were propped in several different places on top.

Despite how long he'd been gone, his scent feebly lingered inside the room and it made Esme miss him more. She decided not to let it get the best of her and quickly made her way out of the room and down to her favorite room in the house besides her own; the kitchen.

Decorative fruit she had picked sat as the centerpiece to the table, as she'd always liked the way it looked since Dorothy had given them the basket years before.

Her mind began to drift to more pleasant things, and she remembered her neighbor speaking of how her and her husband liked to take walks and pick apples in the local orchards. She also remembered people talking of traditions where pumpkins were carved in the spirit of Halloween.

_We need to get out and do something fun,_ she thought,_ and positive._

Carlisle returned home soon after and Esme greeted him at the door. His sulky posture was immediately uplifted by her lively welcoming as she leaned against the door frame and smiled.

"Hey," he said, giving her the first true smile since Edward had gone.

"Hey," she said back, "How was work?"

"It was alright," he told her, still smiling.

"I thought we could turn the mood around in here," she told him, stepping back inside so he could get settled from his shift.

Carlisle kissed her several times in a row, already feeling better from her contagious demeanor, "Okay." He grinned and tucked her hair back, not separating himself from her.

Esme took in his happy, handsome expression and smiled. She always felt far more content when he was happy and felt a sense of joy that she was able to get him there, "Dorothy said that she and Jim like to go down apple picking at the orchards. I thought maybe we could go down and take a walk, maybe bake a pie and bring it over to them later tonight or tomorrow."

Carlisle smiled; glad to see that Esme was so upbeat. "We could do that."

"And have you ever carved a pumpkin?" she asked, "You know, made a face on the front; two eyes, a nose, and a mouth?"

He snickered and couldn't help but kiss her again. "You can walk me through it. It sounds like fun."

"Really?" she asked, "It's not too…"

"It sounds like a perfect rest of the day to me," he told her before she could finish.

Esme grinned and kissed him again. She let her arms linger around him as she continued with her reasoning. "I've just been so down about Edward, and I know you have too. I was in his room earlier, and you know about my obsessive notes on the doors."

Carlisle listened, never breaking eye contact and keeping his smile for her to see.

"I think we need to get out of the house for a bit and do something out of the ordinary. Dorothy said she really enjoyed wandering around and made it sound like she didn't have to pull too many teeth to get Jim to go."

Carlisle chuckled, "Well, let's go then. It's cloudy and supposed to only get worse as the night goes on. I don't believe the sun will be making any appearances any time soon."

"How are you doing with everything?" she asked him.

He shrugged, "It's unfortunate and as hard as it is to not know where he is, or if he's safe or making the right decisions, I think you're right. We can't stay down the way we have been. We have to move forward."

"I'm still going to leave my notes for him," she said, "Just in case."

"Of course," Carlisle told her with a grin, "And by the way, they aren't obsessive like you said. It's important. He may return one day and it might be the one thing that convinces him to stay."

Esme nodded and Carlisle turned her face up to give her another kiss. "I love you," he told her.

"I'll always love you."

He grinned, "Let me changed and we can go."

…

The afternoon went as pleasantly as Esme had imagined. She and Carlisle wandered through the trees, gathering different types of apples for Esme to bake with, and some just to keep as a type of decoration.

To keep a human-like profile, they wandered hand in hand a slow pace as they went. While both of them knew they could easily whip into the highest part of the trees, they reached up only to where they could reach from the ground, aside from a few times Carlisle decided to climb up just a foot or so.

"Don't climb too high," she told him, "You wouldn't want to fall and break your leg. Believe me, I know from experience."

Carlisle hopped down from where he'd been just a few feet in the air. His smile made Esme giggle as she was obviously referring to the first time they met.

"The day you broke your leg was one the best memories of my life," he told her with a light laugh.

"Me too," she told him, "Probably for different reasons." She wrapped her arms around him and looked around the empty orchard. "I think I fantasized about you a lot over the course of that next week." She began to laugh.

Carlisle snickered and captured her mouth with his own, feeling her pin him up against the tree. He couldn't help but release a soft moan into her mouth as he intensified their embrace. His hand grabbed the lowest branch, pulling it down immediately with a loud cracking sound that rang through the apple orchard.

Esme quickly parted her lips from his and began to laugh but Carlisle pulled her back to him, unable to break the feeling she'd left him with. She chuckled again at first, then began to kiss him with the same wholehearted passion as was showing her.

Carlisle tried convincing himself to stop. There wasn't a part of him that wanted to and knew he was the one who had upped the intensity of the situation. Before his hands began to wander, he pulled himself back, though found little room between Esme and the tree.

He let out a light laugh and sighed loudly, "I have to stop now or I won't be able to."

Esme grinned and looked at the large tree branch on the ground that he'd accidentally cracked in half. "I don't think we'd be asked back if we started knocking down trees all over the place."

Carlisle shook his head, "No, I don't think we would." He let out a snicker and looked back at Esme again, "So you know, it is much more difficult to resist you than human blood." He brought his lips back to hers, softly at first and then felt his will power slipping away.

Esme pulled herself back from him with an ear to ear grin and held his face in her hands, "I guess I'll have to be the virtuous, self-controlled one this time."

"You're going to have to be," he said, he told her.

"Your eyes are black," she told him.

"That's funny, I just hunted." Carlisle let out a light snicker again and she brushed her hand through his hair.

Esme backed away and took him by the hand, "Let's get some apples so I can get to baking. Oh and there's that little pumpkin patch right down the road, too, don't forget."

Carlisle let her lead him throughout the rest of their afternoon stroll, helping Esme get what she needed from the trees before heading down the road to pick out a pumpkin they could carve that night at the house.

Right away, Esme narrowed it down to two that she liked and pointed to both, "Which one do you like more?"

Carlisle looked at them both, "You pick."

She shook her head, "I narrowed it down. You pick," then added, "For me."

He grinned, "Alright." His eyes moved back and forth before he picked one up from the ground.

"That's the one I was going to pick," Esme told him. She smiled as Carlisle paid the man sitting in a small shack a few feet away. He then took Esme by the hand again and guided her back down the road.

When they arrived home, Esme put their bags of apples onto the countertops and almost immediately got all the spices and other things needed to make an apple pie. Carlisle set the pumpkin on the table and removed a large knife from one of the drawers.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked her.

"I'll get the pie started and then we'll work on the pumpkin."

Carlisle grinned, knowing she was more than happy to do a little cooking.

"We can bring it down to Jim and Dorothy in the morning," Esme added.

"Okay," Carlisle told her, "They might get startled if we come barging in at this time of the night."

She laughed and continued to throw things together for the apple pie before finally making her way to the pumpkin.

"Okay, I've never carved pumpkins before, but I love the ones people have done in the past that I saw."

Esme walked over to where Carlisle stood with the knife. He lifted it above his head, making her giggle before jamming it into the top of the pumpkin. The knife stuck out of the top as he only let the blade go in about an inch.

Esme looked up at him, "I don't know if that's the right technique."

"Show me," he told her, decreasing the minimal distance that sat in between them.

She grinned, sensing the double meaning of his words. Their closeness quickly brought her thoughts back to their moment of passion they had to put on hold earlier in the day.

Esme perched herself onto her toes and kissed him once. She then took his hand and led him down the hallway to their bedroom.

…

Carlisle laid on his back with Esme laying partially on top of him beneath the sheets. Her bare legs were entwined with his and her head rested on his chest. The only light in their room came from a few sparing candles that flickered on a small table by the bed. Outside they could both hear the rain that had been threatening to hit all day.

"I hope he's not outside right now," Esme said, referring to Edward, "I wouldn't want him to be forced to stay out in the rain."

"He might be under a starry sky," Carlisle told her, "He could be in Texas, or Mississippi or Canada right now."

She sighed, "Were the notes still on the door when we came in?"

Carlisle nodded, and Esme heard his hair brush against the pillow. "They were still there."

They laid together in silence and Carlisle traced random patterns across Esme's hip with his fingers. When she didn't continue their short discussion about Edward, he kissed her forehead.

"Everything will be alright," he whispered to her.

"I know," she said back with assurance in her voice. She lifted her head to look at him.

Carlisle made eye contact with her and continued to run his hand across her body.

Esme readjusted so she could kiss him gently. "We never carved that pumpkin."

He grinned, eager to get the subject back to something less heavy. "You want to?"

She nodded.

"Okay," he told her.

Esme got up and began to get dressed. Carlisle reached down to stop her from picking up her clothes, "Don't," he said.

She shook her head, "I don't mind being under the covers with you, but I don't like the way I look."

Carlisle pulled her back to him, "You're beautiful. I want you to start to see that about yourself."

"I don't know what you see," she told him.

"You," he told her, "You're what I see. I love the way you look, and I love you."

Esme could see the honesty in his eyes and dropped her clothing back onto the floor. "Well, at least hand me the little blanket from the edge of the bed, or no deal."

Carlisle sensed the lightheartedness in her voice and did as she asked. He handed her the blanket and moved his mouth back against hers.

"Mind if we share?" he asked her.

"Not at all," she told him.

The two of them made their way into the kitchen and Esme picked up the pumpkin where the knife still protruded from the top where Carlisle had left it.

He left her momentarily to throw down some papers onto the countertop, lighting a few candles along the way. He turned off the remaining lights in the house then called her over to where he stood.

Esme grinned at him and he quickly slide back in the blanket with her, allowing her to stand in front of him to have access to carving the pumpkin.

"I think you just cut off the top, then pull out the seeds and everything inside, and then you make the face," she told him.

Carlisle smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears, placing all of hair to one side so he could kiss her neck.

Esme sighed and began to do as she'd just explained. Carlisle stopped what he was doing so she could concentrate, knowing she really wanted to make the jack-o-lantern. He rested his chin on her shoulder and placed his hands on the counter so she was in between him and where the pumpkin sat.

"Are you going to help me get the middle out?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Of course," he said, making her smile.

Esme cut the top off the pumpkin before she guided his hands to help her with her project.

Within a few minutes, all of the pumpkin's guts were on the newspaper and Esme created a traditional face for it.

Carlisle loved how happy Esme looked, almost like a child would be from something so simple. He never knew a happiness quite like the kind he felt when Esme was happy. If she was okay, it meant he was okay.

"We need a candle right?" he asked when she finished the design.

Esme nodded, "Yeah." Her eyes drifted back to meet his and Carlisle reached as far as he could, barely able to grab one that he'd lit before they started.

She took it from him and placed it inside the jack-o-lantern they'd created.

Carlisle placed his lips against the side of her face then guided them back across the room. "What do you think?" He wrapped his arms around her and pulled the blanket completely closed to keep Esme in her comfort zone.

"I love it," she told him with a laugh.

"You did a good job."

"_We_ did." Esme turned to completely face him and wrapped her arms around him. "Sorry," she laughed, realizing she'd gotten some pumpkin residue on the back of his neck.

Carlisle laughed and shrugged, then kissed her again. "Can I keep you forever?"

Esme grinned, finding their moment to be completely romantic. "Yes," she told him, "You can keep me forever."


	26. New Year's Eve

**Chapter 25**

_December 31, 1930_

Three years had passed since Edward had gone. Carlisle and Esme were in the beginning stages of serious talks about relocating. In total, they had been in Maine for just under a decade and had plans to go to New York in the early months of 1931.

Carlisle had already made the hospital aware that he would be leaving within the matter of a few months, though they gracefully offered to allow him to work until he was completely ready to go.

Since he had started his employment, the members of the hospital put on an extravagant New Year's Eve party, though Carlisle and Esme had never attended. They kept their interaction with his co-workers as short and sweet as possible, but made it a point to be kind and generous when the occasions arose.

Considering the two of them would soon be leaving, they decided to go to the party for a few hours simply to make an appearance. Esme felt bad that the people her husband worked with were always asking him to join them in such occasions and he was obligated to decline. She knew he wished to have friends outside of their kind and so she was the one who offered to go.

The attire was semi-formal and well before midnight there were bottles of champagne being passed around. Tables against one wall were filled with appetizer type foods, while another wall had a large variety of main courses. It was rare that the two of them had to force down human food, though both of them knew they would have to that night in order to play the part.

"Try not to breath in when you take a bite," Carlisle whispered to Esme as she threw the mixings of a salad and some breaded chicken on her plate. He gave her a wink and she couldn't help but smile.

_He looks so handsome_, she thought, watching Carlisle go through the line just ahead of her. He took as little as possible, though filled a good portion of his plate, and then escorted her in front of him so they could get back to their table.

"Dr. Cullen," an old man with white hair and a moustache called, making himself comfortable in one of the many seats next to them.

"Dr. Mitchell, how are you?" he asked, shaking the man's hand with a smile.

"I'm glad you've finally made it to one of our New Year's Eve parties." He gave a jolly laugh and Esme could see the redness in his cheeks that accompanied a full glass of champagne.

"This is my wife, Esme," Carlisle said, "Esme, this is Michael Mitchell. He's the best doctor at the hospital."

The man smiled, taking Esme's hand, "It's nice to meet you, my dear."

She grinned, "Nice to meet you, too."

"My wife's around here somewhere," he told them, looking around, "It's hard to keep track of her at these things. We never get out."

Carlisle laughed, "Yeah. We, uh," he looked at Esme, "We stay home quite a bit ourselves."

"Well, I'm glad you can make it," he said again, just as friendly, "But don't get the wrong impression. This is the only night of the year when I have a few extra, if you know what I mean." He put his hand up in a drinking motion, making Carlisle and Esme laugh.

"Have a good time," Carlisle told him with a grin.

"It was nice meeting you Mrs. Cullen," Dr. Mitchell said. He excused himself from the table and made his way back up toward the food.

Esme looked at Carlisle and smiled, "He seemed… friendly."

He snickered, "He's a good guy. He takes the job very seriously."

She nodded and smiled as Carlisle leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, "You look beautiful," he whispered, "I may have to fight off all the men in the room."

Esme tried not to giggle at his comment, but couldn't help it, "Please. I've seen some of these women staring for far too long in your direction." Her eyes drifted toward where two women in their twenties sat talking with martinis. "Over there, for instance." She pointed when they looked away.

Carlisle laughed and pulled her chair toward him a few inches so her leg was against the side of his, "My eyes are only for you."

"It's not _your_ eyes I'm concerned about." Esme smiled, not jealous, but completely aware of the women who had lent their eyes to her husband.

"You have nothing to be jealous of," he whispered, catching part of her ear with his lips purposely.

"I'm not jealous," she said with a grin, "I'm just simply pointing out what I've noticed."

"Well, how about him," Carlisle said, he openly pointed to a man who was staring at Esme.

She laughed as he quickly moved his eyes elsewhere and took a sip of his drink. "Carlisle, don't point at him."

He chuckled, "I'm just making it clear who you belong to."

Esme grinned again and looked at him in the eyes, "I love you."

"I love you, too." He reached over to the table and held up a small glass of champagne, making Esme do the same.

"Are we going to toast?" she asked.

Carlisle nodded, "To… us."

She smiled again, "To us." She tapped her glass against his and took a small sip.

A slower song began to play and Carlisle held out his hand, "Care to dance?"

Esme took his hand and stood up, letting him lead her out onto the dance floor. He carefully and slowly swayed them back and forth to the music, pressing the side of his face against Esme's for the first half of the song.

Dr. Mitchell and his wife were close by. Carlisle shifted his eyes up to meet his co-worker's, who gave him a thumbs up, appearing to have only put down the alcoholic beverages for the sake of the dance.

Carlisle laughed and took his hand away from Esme's to wave and return the gesture. Her eyes followed to where he was looking and she laughed as the man stumbled to complete the dance with his wife.

"He's something else, huh?" she asked with a wide smile.

Carlisle snickered, "He really is very professional around the building."

Esme continued to glow, happy to be in Carlisle's arms for the remainder of the song. She suddenly wished there were more opportunities for them to dance and hoped that maybe in the future they could attend similar events together.

The intimate nature of their surroundings made Esme want to kiss him, though she knew he wasn't one for public displays of affection. It was to her surprise that he leaned in and gave her a single kiss on the lips before returning to his original position with his face against hers.

Carlisle felt her smiling and whispered into her ear, "Yeah…"

"Yeah, what?" she asked him.

"Yeah… it is far more difficult to control my thirst for you, Esme."

She giggled and pulled him a little tighter against her for the last thirty seconds, or so, of the song.

"Why don't we finish our… dinner," he suggested, "And go home."

Esme smiled, "Alright. I feel like this crowd will get a little rowdy by midnight, anyway."

He grinned and led her back to their table once more to attempt to finish the human food provided for them. When they had gotten down as much as they possibly could, Carlisle began making his rounds to say goodbye to his co-workers.

Esme politely said her greetings and farewells by his side before they made their way back home.

Carlisle pulled the car into their driveway after making it up the steep quarter mile drive to their home. He opened Esme's door and helped her out of the car.

"You're so beautiful, Esme," he told her again, letting his thumb drift beneath her chin for a moment.

She couldn't help but feel elated by his words and the gentle, subtle touch of his hand. Esme returned the gesture and guided his face to hers; giving him a few closed-mouth kisses.

They wandered up to the doorway and Carlisle was about to unlock it when Esme looked up to where her note to Edward was formerly pinned.

"My note's gone," she said in shock.

Carlisle looked confused, "The pin's been removed."

"The wind wouldn't have done that… right?"

He continued to stare at the place where the note had been placed for every day in the last three years. Esme had not once left the house without leaving a note for the young man they still looked at like a son.

"Maybe the spot got warn out from the amount of times you've put the note up," he suggested with a shrug. His eyes scanned the ground directly beneath where they stood.

Esme followed his gaze and neither of them saw any evidence of the tack. "Where is it?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said, squatting down, "I don't see it anywhere over here."

The two of them continued to look around before Carlisle finally guided Esme inside, "It may have been a big gust of wind."

She nodded, seeming to be slightly disappointed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Carlisle hugged her and rubbed her back, then kissed her on the cheek. He knew what she was thinking.

"Why don't we each have a glass of that special wine?" he suggested, "It _is_ New Year's Eve."

Esme nodded and allowed him to pour them a few glasses. They hadn't had the beverage much, if at all, since the day Edward concocted it on a whim. It was very rare that either of them indulged in such things, though they each knew a glass wouldn't be of much harm.

Carlisle handed Esme her glass, then pulled her forehead to meet his lips, "I don't think we should change the toast," he told her.

She raised hers in the air just slightly, "Here's to you and me."

"Forever," he finished.

"Forever," Esme said.

Carlisle brought his lips back to hers before taking a sip of their home-made wine.

"The combination is quite breathtaking," Esme said with a laugh.

"What combination?" he asked her.

"Of you, the blood and the wine," she answered.

Carlisle kissed her again, and then pulled back, "I know what you mean."

Esme snickered and pulled him toward her again. Carlisle let his hands begin searching the back of her dress before he froze and looked around.

Esme felt a few quick breaths land on her face and his eyes made it seem like he was questioning something.

"What?" she asked him.

Carlisle remained in his statue-like position until Esme jolted upward, causing him to almost jump back.

"Edward," she said, smiling, "Edward. Right?" Her eyes frantically scanned Carlisle's face as his mouth hung partway open.

He hesitantly nodded before stepping back and the two of them ran outside.

"Edward!" Carlisle screamed, "Edward!?"

"Edward, are you here?" Esme called out at the same time.

The two of them waited in the darkness, scanning their surroundings before they both made out a figure at the far edge of the yard by the woods.

He walked slowly in their direction, almost methodically with his head bowed halfway. His posture was slumped, but he straightened up as he approached them in the darkness.

Esme took off running his direction. She threw her arms around him and pressed her hands against his back to make sure he wasn't in her imagination.

"How did you know I was coming?" he asked her.

"I didn't," she told her, smiling in shock.

"Your note…" he said, reaching in his pocket and lifting it so she could see, "I got your note."

"I've left you a note every day since you've left," she told him.

Edward gave her a half smile and his eyes stung with guilt. He looked over her shoulder at Carlisle, who approached them slowly.

"I'm sorry, Esme," Edward whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, honey," she said, stilling hugging him.

"Carlisle…" Edward said, shaking his head.

Esme stepped out of the way so he could get in a hug of his own.

"We've missed you, son," Carlisle told him.

Edward sighed, "I don't deserve it, but-"

"You can come home!" Esme said, before he could even ask, "This is your home."

He grinned and looked down, "I've been selfish, and stupid and immature."

Carlisle shook his head at the same time as Esme, "We're going to Rochester in late January or February. Would you mind relocating?"

"Would I mind?" Edward asked.

"Yes, we want to make sure you're comfortable with that," Carlisle told him.

"We can talk about it inside," Esme added.

"It's not my decision," Edward shook his head, "I left. I acted selfishly. I don't deserve a part in the decision."

"You're a part of this family," Carlisle told him, "That never changed. You can decide with us."

"Rochester is fine," Edward told them, shaking his head in disbelief.

He looked at the two people who cared about him more than anyone in the world. They didn't care about where he had just come from. They didn't care if he made bad decisions, or if he disrupted their lives. All they cared about was his feelings and well-being. It was as if he had never left to begin with.

"You left a note for me every day?" Edward asked Esme.

She nodded with a smile, "I thought you'd never return."

Edward smiled and continued to feel the guilt plaguing him.

"Come inside," Carlisle told him with a smile, "We hadn't had so much as a glass of that wine you created since you left, but we just poured a few glasses. Come have a glass and the three of us can talk."

Edward stared at his father and nodded, "Are you sure?"

He grinned, "I'm positive."

The three of them walked inside and Esme eagerly poured Edward another glass.

"Our family is back together," she said excitedly, "This is the best New Year's we've ever had." She put her hand on Carlisle's arm and flicked on the kitchen light.

He looked at her and smiled, then to Edward, "To all of us," he said, raising his glass.

"To family," Edward said. He looked into the glass before accepting the glass tapping gesture from each of them. Edward knew he was where he was meant to be. He knew he was home.


	27. Monsters

**Chapter 26**

_1931 Rochester, New York_

Carlisle and Esme felt equally blessed to have Edward back in their lives. He had slipped back into his role as part of their family, and often expressed his gratitude to each of them. Prior to returning to Maine on the previous New Year's Eve, Edward had reprogramed his diet to assure that animals would be his only target. Upon living off of human blood for so long, the beginning stages the change proved to be challenging, but he was able to adjust back rather quickly.

As in their previous places of residence, Edward agreed to pose as a high school student again, this time for only a year. He was overly eager to get back to studying in college, and talked a lot about pursuing a medical degree.

Carlisle, of course, thought it was a great idea and encouraged him to do so because of the true nature of his interest. He also took time to study with him at home so he had a greater base for some of the terms and knowledge before diving into his own classes.

Esme was glad to see Edward adjusting so easily, though sensed there was a part of him that was still not fully content, or complete. There was something weighing at his soul that came out every so often, and Esme was always able to pick up on it, whether it be his expression, his word choice or a certain slump of his shoulders.

"I'm going to school," Edward said to Carlisle and Esme, exiting through the front door as the words left his mouth.

"Be safe," Esme shouted.

He leaned his head back in and nodded with a smile before shutting the door gently behind him.

Carlisle entered the room in more comfortable clothes after showering upon his return home from a night shift at the local hospital.

"Do you think it's possible that we could try to find someone for Edward?" Esme asked him.

Carlisle could tell from the look on her face that she was genuinely concerned. "I suppose we could look for others of our kind. In my travels, I kind of just came across them randomly."

"Well, what about if you were able to change someone?" Esme asked, "And I don't mean a woman who's alive and well; maybe someone who was close to death like Edward and me."

Carlisle smiled and sighed, "You're really worried about him still?"

She nodded, "I can tell there's something missing. I can't explain it, but it's just a look he has about him sometimes."

He nodded back in agreement, thinking of the loneliness he had known all too well for so long. At times he had contemplated changing a random woman in hopes that she could become his mate, though felt that the act was far too selfish. On the same note, he hadn't had even the slightest of true feelings for someone until he met Esme.

"I don't want to force it," Carlisle said, "But I do know the pain that goes along without having someone you love. Before you, I was very discontent. I wasn't always miserable but I wasn't exactly happy either. I just kind of existed and I felt like it was for no reason."

Esme nodded and saw a similar look in his eyes upon reflecting on his past that recently hung in Edward's. "I didn't want to bring up anything that would make you upset," she told him.

Carlisle smiled, "I'm not upset."

"I just want Edward to be able to feel what I feel for you."

"I know," he gave her a hug and kissed her forehead, "It's definitely something to think about." He sighed, "I just know that of everyone I met in my two hundred and fifty years, no one made me feel the way you do."

Esme couldn't help but smile at his comment.

"People tried to set me up along the way; Aro, a few of the people I worked with…" Carlisle shook his head, "It's not that I didn't want it, I just never felt that real feeling for anyone else. With you, it just happened," he smiled, "And quite easily, I might add."

She looked up and gave him a kiss, "I understand completely."

He kissed her again, "But maybe we can try talking to him about it."

Esme nodded, "Alright. Edward is just so sweet. He's a good person and I want him to be happy."

"I know," he agreed, "Me too."

…

Carlisle left for work the following afternoon, beginning and ending his shift in a fashion no different than normal. He wrapped up his evening around ten o'clock that night and headed toward home, taking his usual route.

The scent of human blood was something that was not foreign to his senses. Carlisle was amongst humans all day during his typical routines, and it wasn't unusual to smell fresh blood in the air at the hospital when people were wounded or undergoing surgical procedures. The scent, however, never failed to trigger his senses with a little extra hint of enthusiasm. It called to him greater than any other type of blood, especially when out of the human body.

Carlisle tightened his fingers just slightly around the steering wheel of his car and held his breath as the scent of blood filled the air around him, breaking through the boundaries of the car with a purpose.

He parked the car and listened intently. The sound of feet thudding rapidly against the ground could be heard from somewhere in the distance, accompanied by quiet whispers filled with appalling messages. The laughter that went along with the conversations made Carlisle cringe and he began to drive toward where the scent was leading him, only to find what he figured to be another tragic ending to a beautiful, young life.

A woman of about twenty lay motionless in the road. Her blond curls were matted and disguised as red by the blood that soaked them. The scene was gut-wrenching and heartbreaking to be of witness to. Under the anonymity from the shadows of the city, this woman's death would surely remain a mystery. There wasn't a soul in site and the buildings that surrounded the area only had a few sparing windows from commercial buildings that all stood black and lifeless.

Carlisle felt a pain in his chest develop from the young woman's condition. He couldn't fathom how one human being could do this to another. It was just as heinous, if not worse, than the acts of some of the actual monsters he'd met in his lifetime.

The thought crossed his mind that if he had been in the area fifteen minutes sooner, he may have been able to save her from such a terrible fate.

Carlisle sighed, letting his regretful thoughts take over the smell of the blood for a moment. He knelt down above the woman and quickly realized that her heart was still beating, though a blow to the head was surely what left her unconscious.

His eyes scanned the deserted roads and he fixed his gaze back upon the young woman. He knew she deserved better than to become a monster, though Carlisle knew that those who did this to her were considered to be human from their genetic make-up, though were monsters all of their own. His thoughts drifted to Esme and Edward. They weren't human, but the word _monster_ could never, ever be used to describe either of them.

Carlisle thought of his conversation with Esme from the day before, and the way she described Edward's frequent melancholy demeanor. The young woman that was slowly dying in his arms was about Edward's age, he would guess.

_Maybe she was meant for Edward_, he thought. It was then when he made the snap decision and sunk his teeth into the woman's neck.


	28. Rosalie

**Chapter 27**

"I'm a what!?" The woman's voice bellowed loudly and it seemed quite possible that her voice could have shattered the glass on the windows of the room she stood in with Carlisle, Esme and Edward.

"What's your name?" Carlisle asked politely, "I just want to help you."

"Help me?" she asked, looking down at her arms with the same foreign look that Esme and Edward had had, "Help me?"

"Please," he went on, "I found you on the street in the city last night. You had lost a lot of blood and the medical procedures I'm familiar with wouldn't have been able to save your life."

"So what happened then?" she asked, almost cackling from her lack of belief in the explanation Carlisle had attempted to give her, "You just turned into Nosferatu and sunk your teeth into me?" Another laugh escaped her throat, "You don't even have fangs. Please. I'm not a moron."

Edward jumped in, "Run your tongue along your teeth."

The woman looked at him with an expression that indicated she was both annoyed and intrigued. Her curiosity got the best of her and she did as he suggested, then slowly raised her hand so it rested by cheek, covering half of her mouth.

"Punch the wall," he went on.

"Edward…" Esme said, looking at him.

He snickered, "Okay, maybe we should go outside then and try some things out."

"Try some things out?" The woman was visibly angry, "I need to get back to my family." She began to march toward the door but Carlisle stepped in her way.

"Wait," he said, "Just wait for a minute. Don't you feel different?"

She sighed heavily and folded her arms across her chest.

"Look in the mirror," Edward told her, "It's how I kind of realized what I was at first."

Esme looked at Carlisle, thinking it was a good idea, though she was not sure how the young woman would react. Her eyes drifted to a mirror that hung on the wall across the room.

Edward held his arm out toward the mirror, "Look."

The woman sighed again and decided to do as he asked. As much as she wanted to continue protesting, she knew that something was different about her; something hauntingly different. She didn't feel like she had the same control of her body as she had prior to that day. She also knew the damage that had been done to her body, and now there was no indication of any of it. On top of it all, she felt the fangs in her mouth that certainly hadn't been there before.

She inched her way toward the mirror now fearing that she wore the face of some demon or devil. She had no idea what to expect and beneath the hard surface she portrayed, she was absolutely terrified.

Each step seemed to take forever. She felt light as a feather on her feet, but her steps felt heavy with dread.

_What am I?_ she wondered.

She closed her eyes for a moment just before she reached the mirror, and then opened them again, meeting her own cold stare.

_My eyes are red. Why are they red? How long was I out for?_ Thoughts wandered through her mind in rapid fashion.

"Your eyes are red because it's the blood left over from when you were still human, and the transformation took just about two days," Edward said, "That's how long you were out for."

The girl's head whipped in his direction, "What are you talking about?"

He read her thoughts again, "All that burning you're thinking about, it was the transformation; the venom spreading to make you into what you are now."

Confusion spread across her face, "How are you doing that?"

"I can read your mind," Edward explained.

"Can you fly too?" she made a face.

"No, not exactly." A smile spread across his face and it seemed to infuriate her.

"Honey, I'm very sorry," Esme intervened, "I know this must all be overwhelming and confusing for you. It was for me, too. My name is Esme Cullen. This is my husband Carlisle and this is Edward."

The gentle tone of her voice calmed her down a little. "I'm…" she hesitated, "I'm Rosalie Hale."

"Rosalie," Esme smiled, "Carlisle told me what happened. He felt he was saving you by changing you into a…"

"Don't tell me you believe I'm a vampire too," Rosalie said, shaking her head, "What is wrong with everyone?"

Carlisle stepped forward and put an arm around Esme's shoulders. Edward continued to grin.

"_Why_ are you smirking?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"Your thoughts are quite humorous," Edward told her with a snicker.

"Why can't I read your thoughts? Are you just special?"

"I am special," he said back, unable to keep a smile from his face.

Esme gave him a look and he straightened up a bit.

"Rosalie, I'm sorry," Esme said, "We've all been through what you're experiencing. I need you to take into consideration what I'm about to say."

Rosalie folded her arms over her chest again and allowed her to continue.

"Please keep an open mind. You can't go back to your family because they'll be in grave danger. Carlisle, Edward and myself, we all live off the blood of animals. We never feed on human blood."

Rosalie began to roll her eyes.

"You saw your reflection. Your eyes are red. Your skin is like a combination of ice and marble and perfectly sculpted without the slightest of flaws," Esme went on, "If you'll allow us to take you outside, you'll see the strength and the speed you possess."

Rosalie's face held a solid frown and her eyebrows narrowed toward her nose. She knew Esme was right. She knew things weren't as they used to be.

"Why aren't your eyes red?" she asked, looking at all three of them.

"It's because we live off of animal blood," Carlisle told her, "As Esme said. Once you begin a diet like the rest of us, yours will change color too. You'll be able to blend in with humans again."

"So then why is it that I can't see my family?" she asked, "You've lost me… Carlisle."

"When you're first changed into one of us, you're at your most uncontrollable. It's very hard to resist human blood, especially when it's close by. Over time, you'll build a tolerance like the rest of us have. It becomes a lot easier with some practice and a few techniques."

She looked at his attire, "Are you some kind of doctor?"

He nodded, "I work down at the local hospital. I was on my way home when I found you."

"And that was how long ago?" she asked, again looking at her flawless body.

"Two nights ago."

"Impossible," she shook her head, "I was beaten nearly to death by…" Anger crossed her face and she shook her head, clenching her fists.

"Vampire venom can overcome most illnesses if you get to the person in time," Carlisle told her, "It heals you, in a sense. I'm not sure that _heal_ is the correct word, but it does reconstruct your body into a state that is perfect and nearly impossible to destroy."

"So no one could kill me if they tried?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head, "Not humans anyway. Another one of our kind, or fire, are the only two ways to destroy someone like us."

"Can we destroy humans as easily as you claim?"

Carlisle looked at Esme, then back to Rosalie, "Yes."

Edward glanced at the two of them, and Carlisle knew right away that he read her thoughts. There was something he wanted to tell him, but he didn't say it out loud. Rosalie, too, picked up on Edward's no dialogue communication.

"What?" she asked.

"I know what you're thinking. Royce. Royce is the man that nearly killed you."

Her mouth dropped, "Who are you?" she asked accusingly. She marched up to Edward and shoved him hard in the chest, sending him flying through the open doorway and into the wall out in the hallway. It cracked by the force of his body and he collapsed to the floor, though stood up quickly with a smile.

Carlisle and Esme's initial alarm drained when they saw that Edward was perfectly alright. He staggered to get up, but dusted off his clothes and returned to the same position he had been prior to being knocked into the wall.

Rosalie stood in awe by the force of her action and looked down at her palms as they stared up at her face. She glanced toward the wall that was more or less ruined, and then returned her focus to Edward.

"I told you we should have gone outside," he said, still brushing off his pants.

"This can't be happening," Rosalie said, shaking her head, "I must be in Hell, or worse. This, this can't be real. I must be in a coma. It's a dream." She nodded at her own conclusions.

Esme wanted to comfort her, but was hesitant to approach, sensing Rosalie was still very visibly uncomfortable. She didn't want to make her feel threatened in any way.

"Let us help you," Esme told her, "I know it's very hard to believe, but you'll continue to see that it's true."

"How did I just do that?" she asked, referring to pushing Edward so forcefully, "And how the _hell_ did you know about Royce?" Her eyes drifted to Edward again.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, getting completely serious for the first time, "I didn't mean to upset you." He looked her directly in the eye, "I really can read your thoughts. Think of a number. I did this with Carlisle and Esme too."

Rosalie still looked angry, but looked up in surprise when Edward began rattling off a series of numbers that were in her mind.

_How about this one, smart ass_, she thought,_ you are a complete idiot._

Edward began to laugh out loud, "An idiot am I?"

Carlisle and Esme both looked at him, then to Rosalie. They knew she had purposely thought the word, geared in his direction and each of them simultaneously thought that maybe the love connection they'd both envisioned wouldn't be happening any time soon.

"Can I push you again?" she asked, "For scientific purposes?"

"Mind if I fight back?" Edward asked.

"No!" Esme intervened, stepping in between them, despite the fact that they were somewhat far apart from each other, "Let's go outside and I'll show you that you can push down a tree."

"Or smash a rock," Carlisle added.

_Or smash Edward's face_, she thought.

"That's not nice Rosalie," Edward laughed.

"Stop talking to me like you know me," she said coldly, "I don't know you. I don't know any of you."

She bolted for the door, flipping Edward over her shoulder as he tried to block her.

Carlisle and Esme both sprinted after her, not knowing what to do if they were to catch her. They knew she was stronger and faster than them in her newborn age, though Carlisle wasn't far from catching up.

The scent of an animal caught his attention and he immediately saw Rosalie change her course in front of him. She staggered and used her new found agility to switch directions, letting her senses lead her toward whatever lurks in the trees.

Thankfully, it was just an animal, and Carlisle was able to relax when he saw Rosalie attack a mountain lion with a ferocity that was much more vicious than the rest of them.

Esme was quickly at Carlisle's side and Edward, too, had caught up after getting up from the ground. He smiled and watched Rosalie devour the animal, seeing in her thoughts that she now whole-heartedly believed what they had told her. She felt a combination of satisfied and overwhelmed, often wondering if she had gone crazy.

The three of them made their way toward her, each equally feeling the thirst begin to build up in their throats. Rosalie spun around, hissing and snarling with blood dripping down her face and hands.

The sound that came out of her throat seemed to surprise her, though she continued to feed before eventually standing upright.

She eyed her hands and looked at the dead animal's carcass on the ground. "I just killed that thing," she said, "That thing should have killed me."

"You're more or less indestructible," Carlisle told her again, "This is how we survive. We do exactly as you just did. We feed on the blood of animals. Your hunting instincts lead you to the mountain lion. You tracked it and killed it."

"That was… good," Rosalie said, breathing in the scent of the blood that still lingered. Her eyes closed and she inhaled deeply, "That's so good."

Edward and Esme both snickered, knowing the sensation that blood could bring a vampire. There was nothing like it in the world.

"I want more," she told them, "I want something richer and better. I need to get it." Her hands gripped her throat.

Edward stepped forward, "I'm sorry if we got off the on the wrong foot, and I can see what you're thinking. What happened to you was horrible, but… don't do it."

"What would you know?" she asked.

"I left Carlisle and Esme for a while to hunt humans. I thought I was doing something good by devouring killers and rapists; the worst kinds of criminals," he shook his head, "But it's not worth it. Taking a human life is a horrible thing to live with."

"I don't want to take the lives of humans," Rosalie told him, looking him in the eye, "Just a pack of filthy ogres."

Carlisle remembered the footsteps scampering away from the crime scene, "You know who did that to you?"

"Royce King II," she told him with an ice cold ring to her voice, "I was about to be married to him."

Esme's jaw dropped, as she knew all too well what it felt like to be abused and misused by a man who was supposed to love you. Charles Evenson's name rang in her mind, and she quickly shook it off, leaning into Carlisle to remind herself of how good things were for her now. He placed a comforting arm around her and brought her close to his body.

"Him and his friends," Rosalie shook her head, "Oh, how foolish I was."

"No," Esme told her, "You're not foolish."

"I thought I was on top of the world on Royce's arm," she sneered, "The most eligible bachelor was all mine, and here I thought I was his elegant beauty queen."

"You _are_ beautiful," Esme told her, "Stunningly beautiful." Her eyes shifted to Edward for a moment and he shook his head.

Rosalie looked at them all, "I do believe that you're good people. And for the record, I have no desire to kill people."

"You will when you're closer," Edward said, "I'm just telling you from experience."

"I know where Royce will be tonight." She looked at Carlisle, "You say I've been going through the transformation for two days?"

He nodded hesitantly, tightening his fingers around Esme's shoulder, "Yes."

"It's Friday night," she said with a vengeful smile, "His friends will all be downtown at their usual place."

Esme sighed and tried not to show her displeasure, knowing Rosalie was fully justified in the way she felt.

"Was anyone on the street when you found me?" Rosalie asked, looking at Carlisle again.

"No." He shook his head.

"Well," she went on, "I don't want to put anyone else in danger. The streets in Rochester are practically deserted in the midnight hour. I'll be in and out before any of them know what hit them."

"I completely understand how you're feeling," Esme said, "We just don't want an innocent bystander to come in between you and… and Royce."

"I have one vision in mind," Rosalie told her, "I'll feed on your animals up here and then I'm going into town at midnight. Once I fill up on blood, will I still crave it?"

"Once you taste human blood," Edward told her, "It's hard to go back."

Rosalie looked at Carlisle, "You seem like a righteous man, maybe a church goer. I'll let you work with me when I get back. I'll follow your rules, unless I find out you're lying to me in some way."

"I'm not lying," Carlisle told her, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't suspect so. The two of you are far too… sweet." She looked over at Edward, "The _two_ of you."

He grinned, "I've been told I'm quite the gentleman, too."

Rosalie shook her head, and then refocused on Carlisle, "So you'll teach me?"

He nodded, "Of course. I don't suggest that you-"

"I'm going to get my revenge," she said coldly, "You decided to make me what I am, so I'm going to take full advantage of it." Rosalie nodded to herself and looked down at the dead mountain lion again, "I'm going to get my revenge."


	29. Revenge - Part One

**Chapter 28**

Carlisle sat tensely at the edge of his bed, glancing up the clock on the wall every couple of minutes. Esme sat next to him rubbing his back and Edward stood leaning against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest.

"Were you guys like this when I left?" Edward asked them, finding just a small amount of humor in Carlisle's overly edgy posture.

"Worse," Esme told him, looking at Carlisle for a moment, "And for weeks."

"You know as well as any of us how it is when you have no control of your thirst," Carlisle told him.

"Why did you let her go?" he asked.

"I can't hold her here against her will."

"Why not?"

Carlisle sighed, "I can only give my advice. I can't force her to stay."

"She'll be back," Esme said.

"After how many people die…" His voice drifted off and he looked at the clock again as it closed in on one o'clock in the morning.

Edward shifted and looked at Esme for an extra-long couple of seconds.

"What?" Carlisle asked him.

Edward sighed and shook his head, "Nothing."

"Do you know something?" he asked.

There was a deafening silence that fell over them. Carlisle and Esme looked at Edward as he struggled to come up with the words for what he was hoping to tell them.

"It's been weighing on my conscience since I've returned," he said, looking down, "I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

"What is it?" Esme asked him.

Edward shook his head again, "I know the feeling that Rosalie has, to an extent. And I think she has every right to do what she's doing to those men."

Carlisle and Esme said nothing, as they equally agreed and disagreed. Edward could sense this from their thoughts, though could see that Esme favored Rosalie's decisions just slightly more than Carlisle did.

"Esme," he went on, "When I was away…"

She stared intently at him as he paused, still struggling to get his message out. Carlisle, too, waited with great anticipation for what Edward would say.

"I love you like a mother, Esme," he went on, "I truly do. I thought time and time again about Charles and I saw how deeply he hurt you from your thoughts."

Esme's expression changed, and she suddenly felt moved by Edward's words. She also knew what he was getting at. There was a part of her that couldn't wait for him to say the sentence to follow. She wanted to hear that he had killed her abusive ex-husband, and the fact that she got satisfaction from the thought kind of scared her.

Carlisle glanced over at Esme as Edward stated what had been a weight on his shoulders for quite some time.

"When I left you both back in 1927," Edward said with a sigh, "My first stop was at his house." He turned his eyes to meet Esme's, "I'm sorry, Esme. I was so angry and I could practically feel what he did to you from how intense some of your thoughts were."

Carlisle shifted his eyes from Edward to Esme and back again. His words drew an emotional response from her, though there was not an ounce of sadness on her face.

"I'm sorry," he concluded, "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to hate me for it."

Esme shook her head, "I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Edward." She took a deep breath.

"Are you mad?" he asked.

"No." She shook her head again, and then looked at Carlisle, who stared at her almost blankly. She put a hand on the side of his face and kissed him on the cheek.

He looked at her for another second before returning is attention to Edward.

"I'm sorry Carlisle," he told him, "It was an impulsive decision."

"It's okay," Esme told him again, then stood and walked across the room. She gave him a hug and did the same as she had to Carlisle, kissing him gently on the cheek. She turned to face Carlisle who had yet to say anything. "I'm not the least bit sad about his decision."

He folded his hands beneath his chin and rested his elbows on his knees where he sat. "Neither am I."

Edward could see that his father was conflicted regarding the situation. He hated violence and was completely against killing, though he felt that Charles deserved the fate Edward had given him, if not worse. There was also a small part of him that regretted not taking action himself, despite his beliefs. He felt that he should have done it for Esme for all the pain Charles had put her through.

Edward didn't comment at all, knowing Carlisle was being mentally pulled in all directions. It was something he was sure would play in his mind for some time, and for that he regretted speaking up about it.

"Thank for you telling me, Edward," Esme said, breaking the short bout of silence.

He nodded somewhat solemnly before she decided to change the subject back to Rosalie Hale.

"Should we have followed her?" she asked them.

"I would have tried to stop her from carrying on with her plan," Carlisle said, "And I know she truly wouldn't want me to."

"It seems like something that has to be done," Edward added. "If not, she'd be thinking about it all the time and would probably go ahead with it anyway eventually."

Carlisle continued to study Esme's expression regarding Edward's confession.

"I'm fine," she said again, seeing the lingering look of almost remorse in his eyes.

He gave her a half smile and looked down at the floor.

"Carlisle," Edward said, "I'm sorry." He shook his head slightly.

Carlisle looked back up at the clock, "I hope Rosalie's alright."

"I'm sure _she_ is," Edward said, "I'm not so sure about Royce King."

…

Rosalie felt almost high from the blood that continued to pour down her throat. She'd done away with two of them, both drunk though just sober enough to be completely conscious to their painfully long and slow deaths.

She took in everything from the experience, especially delighted by the looks on their faces when she first met them in the alley. They'd looked at her in several ways, leading off with initial shock of her flawless nature and well-being. The looks were quickly followed by arrogance and cheap smiles as they looked at each other and approached her, thinking for just a moment that they could have a repeat of the experience that left her at the brink of death just a few nights before.

Rosalie had waited, drawn in by their overconfidence that quickly changed to fear when they got close enough to see her eyes. It was the blood, red eyes she now possessed that brought out the true horror on the men's faces. Rosalie continued to relive the experience.

_That's it_, she thought,_ come on_.

A smile crossed her face and she almost laughed when the bolder of the two had smashed his half empty bottle of whiskey and charged in her direction with an arm raised. Before he had time to comprehend any of it, she'd snapped the limb in half, putting the man on his back.

Wails of pain and deep agony echoed off the empty building walls around them. He shrieked and wiggled on the ground helplessly like a fish out of the water.

The other man, at that time, had taken a cue and began to run, though with little success. He looked over his shoulder toward where she'd once stood, though turned around to see her blocking his exit route.

Panic decorated his facial expression and his mouth hung open as his eyes widened.

Rosalie grinned again, with an elegantly haunting smile. The man took a swing, closing his eyes with a scream as she grabbed his fist in midair, then clutched his neck with her free hand, bringing him off his feet and into the air.

"P-please," he gasped and choked, "Please don't. I'm sorry."

Rosalie's face hardened and she slammed him as hard as she could into the ground, ripping in throat out in the process until he lay motionless.

The thirst had completely taken over at that time. She wanted to make the other man suffer more, though she knew what lingered just below the surface of his body. Her hunger had completely trumped her need for revenge and she charged.

"No!" The man screamed from the ground, still holding onto his arm, which was twisted at an impossible angle.

Rosalie couldn't comprehend anything. It had all been a blur in her destruction of his body. Her mission disappeared as her eyes closed in ecstasy as the sweet sensation of human blood coated the linings of her throat and danced across her fangs and tongue.

_Edward was right_, she thought, thinking of his words about how difficult it would be to keep away from human blood after tasting it.

The high had died down and Rosalie looked at the carnage that lingered on the same street as where the two men and their counterparts, led be Royce, had attacked her earlier in the week.

_I bet they never expected something like this_, she thought, feeling somewhat accomplished. The thirst for blood had died down, though Rosalie knew that if some poor soul had walked by at that moment, they would certainly be the collateral damage that Esme had been concerned about.

_I'll just have to get Royce another day_, she thought, smiling as she did.

Rosalie looked down at the ring on her finger, and the necklace she still wore that he'd given to her. She slid each piece of jewelry off, ripping the chain from her neck and placed them in the hands of the two dead men on the streets. She knew Royce was no fool, and he would know deep down that she was responsible for the heinous acts that were done to his repulsive friends.

_You have one more night_, she thought to herself. Rosalie took joy in the fact that he would surely know that she, or someone, or something would be coming for him next. Like the men that night, she couldn't wait to see the fear in his eyes as she destroyed him in a far bloodier fashion than the rest of them.

The run home was therapeutic for Rosalie, though she began to feel what Edward had described. Despite how horrible the men were, there was a part of her that she knew was gone forever; her innocence. She had taken two human lives and felt no true remorse for the act itself. She also knew that it wouldn't be the end of her killing spree until Royce was dead.

_I was Rochester's sweetheart two days ago. Now, I'm a red-eyed killing machine._ Her thoughts were mixed with different emotions.

As she arrived home, she entered through the front door quietly and quickly made her way to the wash room to clean up and dispose of the fresh human blood that had already began to taunt her again. She suspected that it must have bothered the rest of them, at least to an extent, and so she shut the door and went about her business of cleaning up.

Carlisle, Esme and Edward stood silently, making their way into the living room to wait for her to join them. A half hour went by before Rosalie resurfaced and joined them.

There was a brief silence before Carlisle spoke.

"Are you okay?" he asked simply.

"Fine," she said back, just as easy-going. She felt all of their eyes on her. "I got two of them, but not Royce."

"I'm sorry for everything that you've had to go through," Carlisle told her sincerely, "And I don't blame you for feeling the way you do."

She nodded, and looked him in the eye for a moment before looking toward and Esme and Edward. "I'm going back tomorrow for him. I know I shouldn't but," she took a deep breath, "I have to before I can move on."

Carlisle nodded subtly. "Did anyone else-"

"No," Rosalie said immediately. She shook her head, "I didn't even see anyone else. I got out of there as soon as I was done."

Relief filled his face, and Esme, he could tell, felt the same way.

"Look," Rosalie went on, "I know you don't approve of my actions, and that's okay. But please don't try to talk me out of it, or try to stop me." There was sternness in her voice, though she shook a little as she spoke.

Carlisle raised his eyes to meet hers, "We won't."

"I'm sorry for all of this, Rosalie," Esme said, giving her a half smile.

She nodded and turned away, then headed down the dark hallway.


	30. Revenge - Part 2

**Chapter 29**

Carlisle didn't have to ask questions upon seeing Rosalie enter the house in the early morning hours. The wedding dress she sported was decorated with fresh blood and the look in her eye could not be mistaken; it was angry and sad with a hint of bitter-sweetness that had taken its toll on her soul.

There was a part of Carlisle that had hoped she would scare Royce to death and that he would go down for his crimes in the justice system, eventually rotting in a lonely prison somewhere for the rest of his days. He knew better, however, and it didn't take Rosalie's bloody dress for him to know what had happened. The look on Edward's face was equally revealing, as Carlisle knew he was reliving the experience just as vividly as Rosalie was from her thoughts.

Esme, too, seemed to pick up on Edward's expression. He looked at Rosalie as if he were watching a dramatic movie, and while he did not intend to be rude, his staring was blatant and obvious. She had to nudge him several times to keep him from being completely overwhelming toward the young woman they'd taken in. Despite the heavy nature of the situation, Esme was thankful that she had come back to them. She held a certain fear that Rosalie would tire of their hospitality and roam the world as a nomad, as Carlisle had so frequently described in others he'd come across. Her spirit seemed far too unstoppable to even contemplate taming if she had her heart set on something.

"He's dead," Rosalie said in a dull, monotone type of voice. She felt the need to squash the 'elephant in the room' and hated that the three of them were staring at her.

"Are you okay?" Esme asked her comfortingly.

"Never better." She tried to smile and looked at Edward, knowing he could see what she had done.

He didn't say anything at first, still oddly fascinated by what had just happened. In his own mind he compared it to a car wreck he couldn't look away from. Rosalie's thoughts set the scene quite easily.

The streets were vacant and dark in the center of the city. Due to her vicious retaliation on the rest of his friends, Royce used his wealth to assure he was heavily guarded, knowing deep down that she would come for him.

He'd been told of the ring the necklace she'd left behind in her attacks, though no one else but Royce truly believed it was true.

Edward had heard what some of his trusted friends had said in Rosalie's mind; _she's just a young lady. She couldn't have done this to them._ He also could see how much Rosalie hated what she had become, except for the part that made her strong enough to outmatch the cowards that left her for dead in the street.

Royce cried. He tried to drown out the bloody fate that would become of him by seeking comfort from the bottom of a bottle, but Rosalie had gotten there far too soon for the alcohol to even remotely kick in. She wanted him to feel every ounce of pain in the same fashion she had. She wanted him to beg her not to kill him. She wanted to laugh at his screams and feel his tears as she ripped him apart limb from limb…

"So now you know," Rosalie said, looking at Edward and breaking his thoughts.

"They deserved what they got," he said back sincerely with a hint of anger, himself. They shared their first, real mutual respecting moment and neither Rosalie, or Edward looked away from the other. "I'm very sorry about what happened to you," he added.

Her scowl lightened a bit, though Edward could see she wanted to remain strong in front of them. She turned to Carlisle, "Will I stay like this forever?"

Carlisle shifted his posture, as he was caught off guard that she spoke to him after not acknowledging him since entering the house. "Like what?" he asked.

"Like this," she asked again, "In this body… frozen."

Esme looked at Carlisle at the same time as Edward, whose look was slightly saddened by what she was thinking.

"Well, yes," he said hesitantly, "You'll look as you are forever, I suppose; more or less."

Rosalie looked down at her tattered and stained wedding dress; one she was supposed to spend the best day of her life in. Instead, she spent the night hacking up her abusive monster of a husband-to-be. Between the initial attack, her transformation into a vampire and the retribution killing of Royce King, Rosalie felt that she had reached the worst time of her life. Everything had been so good up until that night.

_It was all a lie_, she reminded herself.

Edward was about to respond but he chose not to, knowing it would most likely upset her.

"Why did you do it?" Rosalie asked Carlisle, "Why did you change me into this? Look at me," her eyes scanned the blood stained dress, "I'm grotesque. I'm hideous." She shook her head.

Esme stood silently by Carlisle wanting to tell Rosalie that she was anything but the words she'd just used to describe herself. She was stunning and perhaps the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. Rosalie Hale was quite perfect and completely justified.

"I couldn't leave you there," Carlisle admitted, "I wish I had gotten to you sooner, but it was far too late. It broke my heart to see you that way. I… I don't know."

Rosalie suspected his words were genuine, though she didn't even know if she could trust her own thoughts, never mind his.

_Gosh, everything was so perfect a week ago! _Her inner voice wanted to scream out loud and release some of the pent of inner anguish about everything that had happened._ I should be getting married. I should be getting ready to be a mother; to have a family…_

Rosalie's eyes shifted up and met Esme's. Edward nervously glanced in their direction, and then he made eye contact with Carlisle and gave him a concerned look.

"Esme," Rosalie started, taking in a deep inhale. She put a hand on her chest, catching the scent of the blood that still lingered on her clothing. "Do the two of you, or will the two of you have kids?" Her eyes shifted to Carlisle and Rosalie knew immediately from his expression what the answer would be."

Esme sighed in return and reluctantly answered with much sadness, "No. Two… vampires can't have…" She couldn't bring herself to end the sentence.

"Can't have children?" Rosalie asked. Her eyes softened completely and her eyes got a little wider.

Carlisle avoided her eyes but shook his head. He began to think that he had made the wrong decision for Rosalie by changing her. Unlike the rest of them, she hadn't had the same type of life as he, Esme and Edward had. Up until Royce revealed his true colors, Rosalie was perfectly content and happy, or so she thought.

Their family was wealthy and of status. She was proclaimed by all as the most beautiful woman in the city. Before that night, Rosalie's dreams were in line to come true. She was going to have an extravagant wedding with, perhaps, several children that would have been born with the same breathtaking appearance possessed by their mother.

"I'm truly, very sorry Rosalie," Carlisle told her, "Like I said I just felt like I couldn't leave you as you were." He shook his head, "I thought maybe it could help you, or that you would adjust like Esme and Edward did."

Rosalie didn't say anything to anyone. She stood in silence and took in her surroundings again, then glanced at her ruined wedding gown.

"My life's over," she said quietly.

"It _will_ get better," Edward tried to assure her.

She shook her head, "Not for me."

"It took me a little time to adjust-"

"Just stop!" she shouted at him, "I don't want to adjust. I don't want to get used to this… this blood lust." She grabbed her throat, "What I want is my old life back. I want to be able to go to _sleep_. I want to be able to sit at the table and sip a cup of tea with my mother. I want to get married and have people take pictures of me and think to themselves how lucky and beautiful I am…"

Esme took a chance and stepped in to give her a hug, one which Rosalie surprisingly returned. She began to sob, though no tears came out.

"I can't even cry?" she asked hysterically. She pulled back and wiped her face, "No tears?"

"It's okay sweetheart," Esme said, trying to console her.

Rosalie hugged Esme again, "My parents will think I'm dead. Gosh, I didn't even see a bulletin out about my disappearance. Do they even care that I'm missing? I expected my face to be plastered all over the walls of the city. There weren't any."

"I'm so sorry, Rosalie," Esme said to her quietly, rubbing her back.

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a look and moved toward each other.

"It's not your fault," Edward whispered to him, shaking his head. "It's Royce's fault."

They both looked in Rosalie's direction, who continued to let out her dry cries onto Esme's shoulder.

"I'll help you through everything," she assured her, "I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"I want children," Rosalie said, "I was _this_ close," she held her fingers about an inch apart, "to becoming a mother and living happily ever after. I don't care if Royce abused me after that. If I had children, I wouldn't care."

Her words hit close to home for Esme. She hoped that Rosalie would fall for Edward and see how much she deserved better than an evil, abusive man. She wanted Rosalie to forget her past the way she had and know what it was like to be treated with love and respect.

"You don't deserve to be treated that way for any reason," Esme told her, "You're a beautiful young woman, inside and out."

Rosalie squeezed Esme a little tighter at her words before finally letting go. She tried to straighten up before looking at Carlisle and Edward, though neither of them even remotely judged her for how she was feeling.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel," Rosalie said, looking at Esme, "How foolish was I?" She shook her head, "I don't even know if my parents ever had my best interest…" Her voice drifted off, "I'll never see them again."

Esme's eyes drifted to Carlisle's. She knew Rosalie's situation was different than her own in that way, and different from Edward's. From what he had told her, his parents passed away, and Esme had wanted nothing to do with her family ever again. The poor young girl who was left for dead, for simply trying to live the life she had dreamed of, had a far different story.

"Would you care to take a walk with me?" Esme asked. She hoped that maybe her own sad story would at least give Rosalie a sense of comfort if she knew someone else could somewhat related to what she was going through.

She nodded and looked at Esme, sensing there was a deeper side to her than she had led on up until that point.

"We'll be back in a bit," she told Carlisle, looking at him reassuringly. She knew he wanted to ask if they would be alright regarding Rosalie's thirst, but her genuine look seemed to immediately gain his trust regarding the current situation.

He nodded and she gave him a little smile, grabbing his forearm lightly as she guided Rosalie toward the front door.

Carlisle placed his hand over hers for a moment and looked over his shoulder as the two of them made their way outside.

Edward gave him a look before speaking. "Esme's going to tell Rosalie about her past," he said, "I think she has the most trust for Esme. She's very willing to listen to her."

Carlisle nodded, "They'll be okay?"

"They'll be okay," Edward told him.


	31. London

_"As the winter winds litter London with lonely hearts. Oh the warmth in your eyes swept me into your arms. Was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night. For every kiss your beauty trumped my doubt." - Mumford & Sons "Winter Winds"_

* * *

**Chapter 30**

_1933 – Two Years later_

"Once we move again, I promise you that the two of you will be able to go through your four years of college," Carlisle said to both Edward and Rosalie, "Edward, I'm sure you can get some kind of credit for the classes you've been taking here."

"So, I have to wait?" Rosalie asked, "I've more or less perfected my thirst. Human blood was never a desire of mine in the first place." The tone of her voice was hard and sassy, as it was most of the time. As much as she listened and respected Carlisle, she was equally as challenging in regards to requests and plans. As with everything in life, Carlisle never failed to be patient with Rosalie and always came to some type of a compromise. It was usually Esme who leveled the playing field when the two of them could not see eye to eye on a particular topic.

"We just can't risk someone seeing you," Esme explained, "It's really the only reason. We'll be moving this year and you can begin a degree in anything you'd like."

Rosalie looked at Carlisle, "There aren't many female doctors out there."

"If you'd like to pursuit a career in medicine I'm fully in your corner, Rosalie," he told her honestly, "I think it would be a wonderful thing if you became a doctor. Maybe it would open the door for other women."

"I'm not trying to start a revolution."

Edward snickered and leaned an arm on the wall, picking up on Carlisle's frustrated thoughts that would never, ever surface. He found himself thinking that he would never be able to win when it came to Rosalie Hale.

"What's so funny?" Rosalie asked Edward.

He covered for Carlisle and never minded taking the heat because he found Rosalie's temperamental ways to be halfheartedly amusing. "You… a doctor?"

She smiled slyly, "Edward, I'm sure any dying patient would rather have an intelligent woman like me caring for their illnesses rather than some dimwitted wannabe med student."

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other and Esme shook her head.

"Can the two of you at least _try_ to be civil?" she asked in a motherly fashion, "You should help each other; support each other."

Carlisle closed the gap between them and Esme leaned partway up against him.

Rosalie motioned with her hand in reference to her and Edward, "_We_ will never be what you two are."

"_Absolutely_ not," Edward said with a laugh, overemphasizing the absolutely.

Rosalie gave him a look, "I'd be the one selling myself short, so I don't know what the enthusiasm on the 'absolutely' is all about."

Edward laughed again, louder this time and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Oh you would, now would you? I'm sorry I don't kiss the ground you walk on Miss Hale."

She scoffed, "As if you don't find me beautiful. I wish I could see into that mind of yours, Edward."

"Beautiful, sure," he said, "It's that attitude that pushes me away… far away."

"You couldn't handle a sophisticated woman like me, anyway." Rosalie turned her nose up at him.

"Oh is that what they call-"

"Edward," Carlisle said, shaking his head before he could use any type of inappropriate words.

"Gentleman, my ass," Rosalie said, looking straight at Edward.

The two of them stayed in a type of staring contest for a few seconds before Carlisle's thoughts interrupted Edward's part in it.

"No, we'll be fine," he said, "You two should go."

Carlisle gave him a look that indicated that he lacked confidence in his words.

"Oh, don't let the two of us hold you back," Rosalie added, "We'll carry on like this whether you're here or not."

Esme looked at the floor where their bags were packed for a trip the two of them were taking overseas. Carlisle had wanted to show Esme where he was from originally and had been waiting until he felt completely comfortable with Rosalie's self-control. Aside from her revenge on Royce and the others years before, she'd never come close to killing a human being. Her experiences up close and personal with them, however, were limited due to the need for them to keep her identity hidden.

"We can have a discussion about where we'll relocate to when we come home," Carlisle told them, "Think of some places together that you'd like to live. We can all put our thoughts into where that will be."

"And I'll be able to attend college where ever it is we end up?" Rosalie asked. Her need for independence had greatly increased since her transformation. She felt as though she wanted to show the world that she didn't need some wealthy, arrogant man to succeed.

"Yes," he told her with a nod, "The second we get there."

She nodded back, "Alright." Her eyes shifted to meet Esme's, "Have a safe trip."

"Thank you, Rosalie," Esme told her. She then looked to Edward with a smile, "Please be on your best behavior. I don't want this house in pieces when we return."

Edward and Rosalie both smiled, each with an equal amount of mischief written on their faces. Esme snickered and gave them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek before her and Carlisle were out the door.

…

"Wow," Esme said, "This is quite a different world over here." Her eyes scanned the streets of London with as much foreign awe as Carlisle's.

"It's certainly changed since my last visit," he told her, "Things aren't quite as I remember them."

She smiled at his bewildered expression and couldn't help but give him a kiss, "I can't wait to see where you used to live."

"I don't know what's still standing anymore. It was a very long time ago." Carlisle felt a bittersweet connection to the place of his origins. There were old, faded memories that he could slightly remember. The image of his father was still in his mind, though a little foggy due to the prolonged inhumane time frame he had lived through. There were also lots of lonely, cold memories that gave him a weak feeling in the pit of his stomach. The last time he had been there, Esme wasn't even alive.

"What's wrong?" she asked, picking up on his expression and far away eyes.

"Nothing," he said, smiling as his focus was back on her face, "Nothing, I'm just taking it all in."

"Okay," Esme said, smiling almost shyly, "I love you."

Carlisle smiled fully and kissed her, then threw an arm around her shoulders, "I love you, too."

The two of them toured the city, and Carlisle did his best to guide her around to places he once knew, though admitted he wasn't totally sure what was what anymore. Over decades and centuries, the area was no exception to the adaptation of time. Buildings were more modern, as were the streets and everything else that made up the elements of a city.

The two of them enjoyed hours walking hand in hand. Anything Esme even remotely looked at in the store windows, Carlisle bought. By the end of the night, though she continued to refuse his gifts only to have him ignore her requests, Esme had armfuls of new clothing and several pieces of jewelry.

"Stop spoiling me," she said with a laugh, as Carlisle latched the back of a necklace he had just bought for her.

"I never get to do this for you," he said, "Besides, you're lucky I don't have Edward's mind reading abilities or you'd have probably ten times the amount you have now."

Esme turned when the necklace was secure and gave him a kiss. She looked at the clothing in her arms and shook her head.

Carlisle grinned, "It's the least I can do."

"You know, you won me over a long time ago," she teased, "You don't have to get all this for me."

"There's no other way I'd rather spend my money," he said, "Unless of course we were sending Edward and Rosalie to school."

Esme nodded, "See, don't go too crazy spending your hard earned money."

"Our money," he reminded her, "What's mine is yours, remember?" He lifted his hand to show off his wedding band.

She sighed as he tilted her face toward him to kiss her again before they headed toward the hotel they were staying at to put all the new clothes away.

"I want you to come somewhere with me," Carlisle told her after just a few minutes in their room, "I don't even know if the place still exists, but I want to see if it's still there."

"Okay," Esme agreed without hesitation. She nodded, seeing where ever he was taking her was a place of importance to him.

He smiled at her, "Thank you."

"Anything for you," she told him with a serious sincerity. A slight sadness lingered in his eyes, though she could see how his thankfulness for her being with him took over the old feelings that had been surfacing since their arrival.

Carlisle kissed her once and she held onto him for a few extra seconds to give him a comforting hug. When she pulled back, she kissed him again before he took her by the hand, tucking the key to their room in his pocket.

They made their way by foot to the outskirts of the city. Some of the woods Carlisle spent his newborn years in were still standing, though there were a few commercial buildings and lots that filled up where some of the trees used to be.

"This is where I stayed for months when I was first changed into what we are," he told her, "None of these buildings were here then, but all back here in these woods." His eyes roamed the empty forest.

Esme cringed at the thought of him being alone out in the woods taking shelter under a tree during storms and being in constant agony over the burning in his throat for blood that he resisted for so long. She placed a hand on his forearm and looked through the trees, feeling a heartfelt pain for him in the pit of her stomach.

"It's okay," he told her with a reassuring smile.

She leaned into his body and closed her eyes for a moment as he kissed her forehead.

"All of it was worth it when I met you," Carlisle told her, "Every minute. Every second."

Esme sighed and looked up into his eyes, feeling a strong need to give him a comforting kiss. She didn't hesitant and he eagerly accepted her lips against his before pulling her by the hand again.

"I won't take you out there," he said, "I really wanted to see if there was anything left of the church my father was a part of, and I guess the one that I was, too."

Esme squeezed her fingers as they interlocked with his and felt as if she was discovering a new part of him. He had described his past so vividly to her, as she had to him, though taking the actual tour down memory lane was almost too much. She was beginning to think that she was even more affected by it than he was.

The two of them traveled for several miles before finally getting to the location Carlisle had described. The church didn't look at all like he remembered, and he was surprised it even existed at all. The building stood alone in a vacant area and most likely was the focal point of local scary stories.

The walls were cracked and crumbled, leaving abysmal holes for entrances on all four sides. As terrible as it looked, Carlisle was impressed that it had stood standing through the test of time.

"Yeah, things have certainly changed," he said aloud.

Esme held onto him tightly, "This was your dad's church?"

Carlisle nodded and looked at her, "I don't remember the place being quite like this."

She rubbed his back, "Can we go inside?"

He snickered, "I didn't think you'd want to. Look at it."

"We're here," she told him, "Let's go."

Carlisle reluctantly agreed and the two of them chose to use the front door. Though he hadn't regularly practiced his religion in so long, Carlisle still had the urge to give the sign of the cross before entering, though he decided not to at the last minute.

He clutched Esme's hand and the two of them pushed in past rows of rotted, dusty cobweb-filled pews that were off kilter and discolored. They headed toward the altar and Carlisle pointed toward a large cross that leaned crookedly against the farthest wall to the back.

"That was my father's cross," he told Esme. His eyes widened slightly, and then he squinted and swallowed. "I can't believe it's still here, that it survived all this time." He took in a breath through his nose and couldn't keep his eyes off of it.

"Would it be wrong to take it with us?" Esme asked him.

Carlisle looked over at her, "How would we be able to?"

"We can find a way," she said, "It seems like it's very important to you." They looked at each other for a moment and she continued with her thought, "We can get it sent back to our house somehow I'm sure."

He gave her a half, closed-mouth smile.

"If you want to," she added, "You don't have to."

"I would want to," he told her, clutching her hand tighter. His eyes scanned the empty building, "Why don't we just head back to the hotel tonight and we can talk it over, maybe come up with a plan."

Esme nodded, "Okay."

Carlisle could tell that she was a little nervous to relive his past with him, as he'd expressed the emotions that had consistently lived with him prior to having her in his life. He knew it was because she cared about him so much, and for the past twenty minutes or so, he sensed that she could almost cry.

"Come on," he towed her out of the old church and rushed them back to civilization. Despite his attempts to get Esme back into a happy-go-lucky mood, she wasn't nearly as perky as she had been earlier in the night.

The two of them passed a store just before reaching the hotel and an elegant dress hung in the window.

"Want that one?" Carlisle asked, nudging her with his hip and elbow.

Esme smiled, but didn't jump on his attempt to make her _really_ smile. There was a sadness in her eyes that couldn't be mistaken, or masked by a quiet smile.

Their walk back to the room was quiet, though Esme clung to Carlisle tighter than she had throughout the night.

When he finally got her away from the crowded streets and the people lingering in the lobby, he sat down in a chair by the window and pulled her onto his lap.

"What's wrong, Esme?" Carlisle tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked her in the eyes.

She looked down for an extra second before sighing heavily. "I feel like I have a real feel of what you went through here," she told him, "I mean none of what I'm feeling even compares to what you _actually_ had to go through, but…" she shook her head and looked out the window, then back at him, "I wish I was alive back then so you wouldn't have had to spend all that time alone. I don't know what I would have done if I woke up into this life alone. You deserve better than those three hundred years alone, Carlisle."

"I told you it was all worth it because I found you," he said, "There's nothing I would change for any reason."

"But you lived alone in those woods. You had to stay out in thunderstorms and blizzards and, I don't know, hurricanes maybe."

He smiled and tried to lighten the feeling, "We don't get cold."

"That's not the point," she said back quietly, "I had this pain in my chest when we were walking around. I pictured you out there by yourself, unprotected… I would never want that for you; not now, not in the past either."

"The past is over," he told her, "I'm happy."

"I am too," she said, then caught herself and didn't talk for a few seconds, "I have that feeling like I could cry but I know I can't."

Carlisle pulled her closer, "I didn't want to make you upset."

"You're not," she told him, hugging him with extra force, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," he told her, then pulled her back to face him, "Don't be sad." He tucked his thumb and index finger under her chin.

Esme shook her head, "I'm sorry for everything you had to go through."

"What's worth the prize is worth the fight," Carlisle told her. He kissed her gently, "Besides, I didn't spend all that long out there. I made some human friends and started working at that library with John, remember?"

Esme smiled for the first time in a while. She gave him a quick nod.

"Keep smiling for the rest of the night," he told her with a quick wink.

She chuckled, "Think you're up for the task of giving me something to smile about?"

Carlisle laughed and brushed some more hair back out of her face, then took her face in his hands and kissed her, closing his eyes at the same time she did.

"I have some ideas," he told her.

The two of them glanced over toward the bed at the same time and laughed. He got up from the chair and jumped lightly onto the bed, landing on his back.

Esme laughed and walked over, leaning halfway over him.

Carlisle rested his hands behind his head as she gave him a single kiss. He reached up and pulled her down onto him playfully, sending her laughing again.

"Since you were so sad, why don't you help me erase the lonely memories for the next couple of hours," he told her.

Esme grinned, "I think I'm up for the task." She brought her lips back to his and slowly eased back into her happy-go-lucky mood. For her, it was hard not to feel that way in Carlisle's arms.


	32. European Tour

**Chapter 31**

Carlisle and Esme toured most of the European countries. He took pleasure in showing her where he grew up, and felt a sense of completion in having her accompany him through the trip that outlined his past. Though it still seemed like the darker part of his life, he was comforted in the fact that Esme had now experienced it with him. The land no longer represented a place filled with pain, loss and loneliness. It was now a place where he had taken his wife on a type of vacation.

Much to his delight, Carlisle had managed to stumble on Alistair, as he remained in the area as a permanent residence. Over the years, Carlisle had checked up on him, despite his acquaintance's claims that he was in no need of friends.

He had spoken to Esme about Alistair on occasion, and prior to their meeting, he explained that he wasn't the friendliest person out there. On the same note, he was also eager to have her meet him. Despite his cold exterior, Carlisle could see the true good nature that lied beneath the surface of Alistair. He wasn't sure why, though he suspected that the fact that Alistair was the first other vampire he met played a role. His friend somehow led him to know that he wasn't alone in the shadows of the world.

Esme had seen the same warmth in Alistair that Carlisle had, despite his constant attempts to prove otherwise. She was overly friendly and seemed very excited to meet another one of their kind, outside of their family.

As Carlisle had predicted, however, their conversation with Alistair was as short-lived as ever, and his old friend was rather quick to part with them. Esme had suspected it was because of her overenthusiasm, though Carlisle continued to reassure her that it was Alistair's natural demeanor.

"It's his shield against any type of relationship," Carlisle had told her, "Or so I suspect. He's a good person."

Esme still verbalized her doubts, as she knew Carlisle would never hurt her feelings if it was, in fact, her that drove Alistair away. The thought didn't bother her much, though, and she voiced how happy she was to have met another one of their kind. The fact that he was even older than Carlisle seemed to amaze her and she pictured conversations that the two of them may had had over the years.

She particularly liked his parting words, and though he meant them to be somewhat smug, she was unable to hold back a smile.

"You're so obviously meant for each other," Alistair had sneered with a smirk and the shake of his head. Both she and Carlisle knew he was turned off by their kindness, though each of them equally suspected that he didn't mind their company as much as he led on. No matter what tone, or with how much of a satirical ring the words may have, Esme loved hearing that she and Carlisle were meant for each other.

The two of them had spent a number of days in England before making their rounds to just about everywhere else, ultimately ending up in Ireland.

"So, are we saving Italy for last?" Esme asked Carlisle. "I'm dying to know what it's like there. You've talked to me about those days so much. I have my own visions of what Aro and Marcus and Caius look like. Their library and their home seem so beautiful."

He looked down, and then back up to her with a soft smile, "I was thinking we could skip Italy."

Esme's facial expression changed, though she nodded, "Okay."

Carlisle sighed, "They're a very… dark coven," he explained, "I still marvel over their intelligence, and I'm thankful for the hospitality they showed me long ago, but they like to interfere with business that isn't theirs."

She nodded, "I understand."

"They just," he paused and thought, "They used to try to tempt me with human blood and lots of other things all the time. I don't want to subject you to whatever mind games they might try to play."

"Other things?" Esme asked him.

Carlisle nodded, "I know how their minds work. They've a very powerful coven for a reason."

"What other things?" she asked curiously, "Like… women?"

He let out a laugh, "Trust me, you would never have to worry about that."

"Did they ever try to tempt you with women in the past?"

Carlisle continued to smile, seeing the smallest hint of jealousy in her eyes, "Esme, if I were to be honest, then yes, but I never accepted any of them, in any fashion." A smile lingered on his face.

"It's not a big deal, I mean I wouldn't have even been born as a human yet," she told him with a shrug, pretending not to care.

"I wouldn't lie to you about that," he told her, "I've told you that you've been the only woman I've ever loved or been with intimately."

Esme's expression softened as his reminder, though she felt a little pain for being unfair to him, seeing as she had been married in her past life. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be sorry," he said with a laugh, "I just want you to know that I'd never lie to you about that, or anything." He began slightly more serious, "They were dangerous. I just don't want them to try to tempt you with blood, or make you feel bad about your food choices. They'd probably proposition us to stay. I just think it's better if we-"

Esme put a finger up to his lips and smiled, "Okay. I trust you no matter what the reason."

A smile spread across his face and he leaned in to give her a kiss. "Thank you," he told her, "If you insisted enough I would have probably given in, but-"

Esme kissed him again and the two of them broke the kiss at the same with a quick laugh. "You don't have to explain," she said, "I love you."

"I love you, too." Carlisle took her hand in his and the two of them looked around the night sky of Ireland.

"I'd like to come back here one day," Esme told him, "It's nice. I especially loved London and Paris."

He smiled as they walked; exploring the new land for the first time together as they had Europe's other fine areas. The trip was a well-deserved and much needed period of relaxation for the two of them. After a tireless effort of helping Rosalie adjust to her new life for the last several years, it was the first true stretch of time that passed where neither of them felt the stresses of their daily lives. While the stress was an indication of how important their family was, a temporary break was welcomed by both Carlisle and Esme. Like on their honeymoon, however, both of them began to miss Edward and Rosalie with equal enthusiasm.

"Thank you for coming here with me," Carlisle said, "I'm glad you got to see where I came from."

"I'm so glad you wanted me to," Esme told him.

"And I am sorry about not taking you to Italy."

She smiled at him, "It's alright."

"I just want you to be safe."

"I know."

He squeezed her hand a little tighter before eventually securing his arm around her shoulders as they walked to nowhere in particular. It wasn't until the later hours of the night that the two of them simultaneously caught the scent of what Carlisle knew, and Esme suspected, were other vampires.

They looked at each other with the same level of curiosity before a slight look of angst filled Carlisle's face. Esme was overly intrigued, having only come in contact with a few other vampires in her life aside from Carlisle. Her strides picked up while his tried to slow down.

"Should we follow it?" Esme asked him, looking at him eagerly. She didn't even realize that she was pulling him by the hand in the direction of the unknown scents.

He smiled at her lively spirit, and at that moment a rush of visions of their first meeting came back to him. Esme hadn't changed one bit internally since he had first spoken to her, and he admired her even more for her fearlessness. The look in her eye sent a chill up his back and he couldn't help but feel enchanted by her.

"Yeah," he said, leaving his doubts behind as if she had commanded him to.

She smiled and they went slowly but surely toward the scents.

"There are-"Carlisle started.

"Three of them," Esme finished.

He snickered and nodded, still lost in the moment as her adventurous life-force lead them toward whatever or whoever, was waiting for them at the end of the trail.

"They're probably aware of us," Carlisle told her, "If we know they're around, I'm sure the same is true for them."

"And you would be right." A female voice spoke calmly in the darkness. To a human, the voice would have sounded as if the person was within a few feet away. Both Carlisle and Esme knew that they still had a short ways to travel before finding whoever was communicating to them.

When they came to a stone bridge in a wooded area of a large park, three others stood in a compact triangle; an adult male, adult female and a younger girl. Their eyes were all crimson red, though they appeared to very controlled and calm on the surface. Unlike The Volturi, there wasn't even a hint of arrogance in their appearance.

Carlisle stayed protectively by Esme and positioned himself slightly in front of her. "Hello," he said to the three of them, "I'm Carlisle. This is my wife Esme. We've been touring Europe for the past week and happened to catch your scents just a few minutes ago."

The two elder vampires looked down to their younger counterpart. She nodded and turned to give them a friendly smile.

"I'm Siobhan, this is Maggie and my mate Liam," the woman said.

"It's very nice to meet you," Esme said with a warm smile.

"As it is you," Siobhan said. Liam continued to eye Maggie and Carlisle immediately wondered if the girl had some type of gift the way Edward had.

"This is our home," Liam went on, "You're just passing by?"

"Yes," Carlisle and Esme said at the same time.

Siobhan stared intently at the two of them, "Your eyes," she said, "You're vampires; I can tell this but why are your eyes different than any others' eyes I've seen?"

"We don't drink human blood," Carlisle explained, "We survive off the blood of animals. This is why our eyes are different than yours."

Siobhan and Liam, again, looked at Maggie who nodded.

"Another member of our coven," Carlisle started, "He has the ability to read minds. Can Maggie do the same?"

"Where does your coven reside?" Siobhan asked, purposely avoiding the question.

"America," Esme told her.

"New York," Carlisle went on, "I was born in London in the 1600's and I wanted to show Esme where I came from so we took a trip. Tonight is our last night here."

Liam nodded and Maggie flashed them a smile. Siobhan stayed slightly more rigid, though Maggie's demeanor seemed to ease her mind.

"I can see the truth," the girl admitted, "I know if someone is lying, and I can tell that you've been truthful about everything… even the animal blood."

"How?" Liam asked, "Just the thought of one savory drop makes me crave it like a drunk does a bottle of Irish whiskey."

"It wasn't without great difficulty in the beginning," Carlisle explained, "But over the years we've managed to control it; harness it."

"Our routines have become much easier," Esme went on, "We can intermingle with humans quite easily."

The Ireland-dwelling coven seemed amazed by what they were hearing, though they were fully confident in Maggie's abilities and accepted their words for the truth.

"Well, I suppose we won't have to worry about you dipping into our food supply," Siobhan said dryly though seemed to be attempting humor in her words.

Maggie smiled and Liam nodded, though still looked dumbfounded over their meal choices.

"I tip my cap to you for that," he said to them, "Not a day goes by where I don't fantasize about the veins that protrude from a human's neck."

Esme found their company to be a combination of delightful and horrifying. They seemed like a friendly little family, built similarly to their own, but at the end of the day, she knew they killed people in order to feed. It was a hard concept to grasp when people seemed as nice and friendly as Liam, Siobhan and Maggie. Esme couldn't even picture young Maggie stalking a deer, never mind a human being, though she knew it was true. This was reality for most of their kind.

Siobhan and Liam exchanged a look before linking their hands together. Siobhan placed one hand on Maggie's shoulder before speaking.

"If you'd like, we can accompany you around the remainder of our country," she told them, "Based on your interaction with humans, I would imagine you've seen within the city walls. We'd like to take you for a tour of the areas seen only by the few who have the time and desire to hike the beautiful country side."

"It is quite breathtaking," Maggie told them with a charming grin.

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other and he knew right away from her beaming smile that his wife was itching to go explore with them. He let his guard down slightly from their friendly appearance and nodded. Esme squeezed his hand then looked back toward the Irish coven. "We'd love to," she told them.

Siobhan smiled fully for the first time and Liam outstretched his arm, "It's nice to meet you."

Carlisle returned the handshake, "It's nice meeting you, too, Liam."

For a second, Esme wondered if Maggie was possibly the child of Siobhan and Liam though knew it wasn't possible and didn't dare ask for fear she would offend them. She figured she would ask Carlisle for his thoughts at a later time, despite the fact that the answer seemed obvious.

"Oh, and I guess this is a little late," Liam went on, "But welcome to Ireland."


	33. Farewell Ireland

**Chapter 32**

Siobhan, Liam and Maggie bid an extended farewell to Carlisle and Esme as their tour of the country had come to a close with the upcoming rise of the sun.

"Please, feel free to visit with us again sometime," Siobhan welcomed, "There aren't many of us who reside in the area, not that we mind that. It is nice to have visitors, though," she smiled, "Especially if they aren't a threat to our food source."

Liam and Maggie chuckled, though Esme was too put off by the idea that they hunted humans that she couldn't reciprocate their amusement. She did, however, force a friendly smile, as Carlisle did.

Despite their differences in meal choices, Esme and Carlisle had enjoyed their visit and Ireland tour with their new friends, and both envisioned returning in the future to see them again.

"We would certainly like to visit another time," Carlisle told them, "This was nice of you to be so cordial and welcoming. We don't mingle with many others, aside from Edward and Rosalie."

Throughout the night, their group had become more comfortable in each other's company and so they had exchanged information regarding their respective families. Carlisle had gone into some detail regarding Edward and his abilities, as well as the newest member of their family, Rosalie. He briefly described how he and Esme came to be mates, and the details of her transformation. In turn, the Irish family shared details of their own transformations, how they met and shared what they could regarding Maggie's gift.

"It is nice to meet some honest people," Liam told them with a nod, "It's nice having Maggie around because otherwise we may not as been so eager to accompany you. We enjoy the social nature of visiting with others, but some are just very untrustworthy."

"The safety of our family is our number one priority," Siobhan added, "I'm sure you could understand."

"We do," Carlisle and Esme said at the same time. They exchanged a look and a quick smile before linking hands.

"It was nice to meet you both," Maggie added, "I'd like to meet Edward and Rosalie, too, some day."

"We'd like to bring them here," Carlisle told her, "I'm sure we'll return in the future. Thank you very much for being so trusting and open."

"We enjoyed it here," Esme told them with a nod, "A lot."

They all smiled and Liam looked up toward the sky as it was giving way to shades of lighter gray.

"How do you take shelter from the sunlight?" he asked, looking at Carlisle, "Your diet certainly wouldn't protect you from the profound differences in our skin to that of humans, I would suspect."

"We just keep out of the light," Carlisle explained, "On sunny days, we keep to ourselves and stay indoors if need be. We've been fortunate enough to live in areas that are heavily wooded and private. I tend to work the third shift whenever possible at the hospital."

"What about here?" Siobhan asked, "On your European trip? What will you do today if the sun shines?"

Esme shrugged at the same time as Carlisle. "Stay in our hotel until the sun goes down," she said, then looked at Carlisle.

He agreed with a nod, "Unfortunately, sometimes we have to work around it."

Siobhan nodded back curiously, then smiled, "Well, I wouldn't want to keep you. Thank you for visiting with us, and letting us in on the details of your lifestyle. I would like to attempt to be as noble as you both but I don't believe we'll be able to control ourselves as you do." Her eyes drifted to Liam's. A smile slowly crossed his face.

"I don't believe I would be able to do as you, but I have great respect for the level of restraint. God bless you both."

They all exchanged final words before Carlisle and Esme parted ways from their new friends. They walked away from the countryside in the early morning hours and got back to their hotel just before sunrise.

Esme smiled as they walked down one of the corridors, "They were so nice," she said, "I want to meet more of your old friends and new ones…"

Carlisle grinned at her happiness, "They were a nice little family," he agreed, "I'd come back here to visit the next time we're around the area."

She nodded, "Yeah, I'd like to."

"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine that was actually very upbeat and friendly," Carlisle told her, "His name was Garrett. I could probably track him down somewhere, but I'm not sure exactly where to find him at the moment."

"We have awhile for me to meet all of your friends," Esme told him with another smile.

"Yes we do," he agreed, smiling back.

They shared a kiss and Esme looked up at him.

"I still can't believe you're mine sometimes," she admitted, shaking her head, "I mean what if you never left London. I never would have-"

"Things were obviously meant to be," Carlisle told her before she could let her contemplations turn her mood from cheery to gloomy.

Esme snickered and smiled shyly.

"And for the record," he said, "I can't believe you're mine, either." Carlisle wrapped his arms around her and she leaned herself up against his chest, closing her eyes as he kissed her forehead, "I'll always love you, Esme."

"Not as much as I love you," she told him.

He snickered, "That's debatable."

She shook her head and looked up at him, then gave him a kiss.

"Come on," he said, towing her toward the door to their room, "We'll waste the day away in our room before we head back to our crazy kids at home."

Esme smiled, loving the family-style way Carlisle referred to Edward and Rosalie. "I hope the house is in one piece," she said, following him as he unlocked the door.

The two of them shared a laugh, before enjoying a few hours of romance, and then made their way back to their home in America.

…

"Well, it certainly looks okay from the outside," Esme joked as she and Carlisle made their way up the driveway toward their house.

He smiled and threw an arm around her shoulders and stared up toward the roof. "Looks can be deceiving."

She laughed and the two of them walked in through the front door together. They looked around, immediately spotting Rosalie reading one of Edward's books in a small chair by one of the living room windows. Edward was in the kitchen looking through cabinets for something and turned with a smile.

"How was your trip?" he asked them.

"It was wonderful," Esme said, giving him a hug. "We met this other small family in Ireland. They showed us just about the entire country in one night. It was beautiful."

"Sounds nice," Edward said. He glanced over at Rosalie who marked her page and flipped the book shut.

"It's nice to hear that your trip went well," she told them honestly, but with little enthusiasm.

"Thank you," Carlisle said, "How was everything here while we were away?"

"Fine," Rosalie told him dryly. Her eyes moved to Edward's and he agreed with a slight nod.

Esme looked back and forth between both of them, "Is there something you're not telling us?" She smiled at the thought that maybe a romance had kindled between them.

Edward laughed out loud, "No," he said, still snickering, "Definitely nothing like that."

She laughed with him as Carlisle and Rosalie looked equally confused.

Edward glanced over at Rosalie, "She was thinking maybe we had fallen in love over the course of the last couple of weeks."

She made a disgusted face and shook her head, "I'd rather go weeks without hunting and endure the pain than put my lips against his."

Carlisle couldn't help a laugh, as Edward joined in. Esme frowned slightly, hoping her thoughts were more spot on, but shook her head and smiled. "I'm always hoping…"

"Don't waste your prayers," Edward said to her, still smiling. He pointed upstairs, "We had a slight disagreement and there's a, uh, tiny hole in the wall in the hallway up there."

Esme and Carlisle's expressions changed to slightly serious and they eyed both of them.

"I'll take the blame," Rosalie said, "As I was the one who threw the object. I cannot take the blame, however, for the instigation that led me to lose my temper."

Carlisle looked back at Edward, who smiled again.

"It was a misunderstanding," he explained, "And it happened this morning before you arrived. I would have had it patched back up by now, but there was no time. I'll fix it." His eyes drifted back to Rosalie, "Even though it wasn't my doing."

Rosalie stared at him and picked up the book she had been reading, "I've already memorized the first fifty-six pages," she said, "Don't think I won't rip the out one by one and throw them into the fire. I have no use for the beginning part of the book anymore."

"I believe that may be the last book of mine you're allowed to borrow," Edward said back with a straight face.

"I'm not against stealing."

There was a silence before Carlisle stepped in. "I'll patch up the wall." He looked at the glares that Rosalie and Edward had for each other before he focused on Edward. "You and I should hunt. Let me get unpacked and we'll go."

A few seconds passed before Edward's tense posture softened and he agreed to Carlisle's request.

"Esme couldn't wait to see the two of you," he went on, "Please be civil for her, if not for each other." He looked at his wife, "Why don't we get our things unpacked, then I'll go hunt with Edward."

Esme knew he intended to speak privately with him and she agreed with a nod, and then followed him upstairs to their room.

Rosalie and Edward stood quietly in the room before Rosalie shook her head at him. He returned the gesture and folded his arms over his chest.

"I'd like my book back."

"When I'm finished with it," she told him.

"Can you at least show respect for Carlisle and Esme?"

"Like you're any better than me, Edward," she told him, becoming more heated in her words, "I wouldn't have thrown that paper weight into the wall if you hadn't provoked me." Her faced hardened even more as he began to smile, "Don't you smirk. This is how things like this begin. You antagonize until I get to _this_ point, and then _I'm_ the crazy one for getting angry."

Rosalie's voice level rose with each word, causing Carlisle and Esme to rejoin them in the living room.

"Let's get going, Edward," Carlisle said, giving Esme a look as he attempted to escort him out the front door.

She looked back at him with eyes as if to say 'they're quite the handful' before heading across the room toward Rosalie.

Carlisle closed the door behind them once they were outside and he ran for a while with Edward at his side before stopping abruptly.

"Why are we stopping?" Edward asked.

Carlisle sighed and looked at him, "I know you and Rosalie have your differences," he began, "And I'm not accusing you, by any means, but if you can try to contribute to making Rosalie more… content with this life, I would really appreciate it."

Edward couldn't argue with Carlisle. He knew he was thinking of everyone's best interests and had a soft spot for Rosalie because of her disinterest in the immortal life. There was a major part of him that regretted changing her because she so frequently and adamantly expressed how she loathed being a vampire.

"We all had things happen to us in our lives that have left us feeling vulnerable and broken, even," Carlisle went on, "Rosalie is no exception to that, and the way she left her human life was terrible. She's chosen to stay with us for a reason, and I don't want to make her feel unwelcome in any way. Living this life on your own isn't easy."

Edward saw the sympathy in his eyes and could equally sense it in the softness of his words. He nodded and looked at him, "I will try to be more patient. Sometimes she'll just do things to get under my skin."

"Take the more passive road when it's possible," Carlisle suggested. "Esme and I care about you both very much, that's all. I feel a sense of responsibility for your well-being for my choice in making you immortal."

He sighed, seeing how pure his thoughts were and nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you." Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder and gave a half smile, "Why don't we hunt."

Edward smiled back, "Glad you're home."

"Me too."

The two of them whipped through the woods, finding their meal for the evening before making their way back to the house. To both of their surprises, Esme and Rosalie were sitting together in one of the bedrooms talking and laughing.

They stopped what they were doing when Carlisle and Edward entered the room. Edward looked at Rosalie and let out a quiet sigh.

"I'm sorry for being antagonistic, as you call it," he said, "I'll try to tone it down with my remarks at times when I know you might not be in the best of moods."

Rosalie looked at him, "Alright." She nodded, "I accept your apology. That's what that was, right; an apology?"

Edward glanced at Carlisle out of the corner of his eye then back to Rosalie, "Yeah. I apologize."

"Okay," she said. "And I apologize for trying to decapitate you with Carlisle's paperweight."

Esme looked at Carlisle and tried to suppress a laugh. Edward saw her expression and snickered before Rosalie and Carlisle did the same.

They all exchanged glances before Rosalie finally let her guard down completely. "It is… nice to have you back." She focused mainly on Esme when speaking, though Carlisle was grateful to hear the words, knowing there was some unresolved tension that Rosalie had toward him.

"We're glad to be back," he said with a nod.

"Very glad to be back," Esme added.


	34. True Love

**Chapter 33**

Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Rosalie had deliberated for a number of days about where their next location would be. Carlisle gave his input based on his former travels around the country, and Edward and Rosalie discovered a school they were both eager to attend in Tennessee. Esme wasn't totally opposed to anywhere, and so she more or less listened to what everyone else had to say before coming to her own conclusions.

"I say if they'll be happy attending school down there, it could be a good place to live," Esme told Carlisle. "What are your thoughts?"

The two of them sat together by a small lake as the sun was close to setting over Rochester. Carlisle leaned comfortably with his back against a tall tree and Esme sat in between his legs with her back against his chest. An occasional cluster of red and yellow leaves fell down toward them, each time leaving Esme with a small, appreciative smile for nature as she batted them away.

"It may make it tougher to stay out of the light, seeing as the weather is much different, but I think we'll be able to make it work," he told her, "I'd like them to both be happy and feel like they have a say in the decision making process. Plus, a little change of scenery would be nice, I suppose." He looked up at the beautiful colors that hung over them as leaves decorated the long, protective branches.

"I don't know about the change of scenery part," Esme said with a chuckle, following his stare above them, "It's beautiful in the north, especially this time of year."

"We can stay in the north," Carlisle told her, brushing a leave away from her hair as it fell.

She smiled and pulled his arms gently so they rested around her. "No, no," she said, shaking her head, "I think we should go where Edward and Rosalie want to go. Maybe they'll be a little happier once they've got their studies to worry about, rather than focusing on fighting with each other all the time."

Carlisle snickered and kissed her on the cheek, "So much for the hopeful romance."

"They're far more like brother and sister than husband and wife," Esme pointed out, "But they do still have each other... and us. Rosalie hasn't chosen to leave, so she must at least be content with our lifestyle."

He nodded, "I'd like to do something for Rosalie to get in her good graces."

Esme turned slightly to face him, "She'll warm up to you, I'm sure."

Carlisle looked down, then to her with a smile, "I think she may resent me too much for turning her into a vampire."

"She'll come around." Esme perked her lips up and Carlisle leaned in to give her a kiss.

"If you say so," he added with a laugh.

"She's just a strong woman trying to stand her ground," she assured him, "And it's no offense to you or Edward, but she probably resents all men after what she went through. I'm sure in time those wounds will heal."

Carlisle nodded, "She's completely justified in feeling that way. As would you have been if you had the same type of ill-feelings toward me when you first awoke."

Esme couldn't even fathom the thought, "Carlisle, you were quite literally my dream come true."

"I think I'm Rosalie's nightmare," he said, chuckling again, bringing Esme closer to his body.

She locked her hands over his and sighed, "I love watching sunsets with you."

Carlisle kissed her again on the cheek and stared at her skin that still faintly sparkled fro the sun, rather than the sunset. He took in everything about her and soaked in her scent though his nose. "Thank you for going with me."

Esme leaned back so her eyes met his again, "To London?"

He nodded and spoke somewhat softly, "Yeah."

"You're welcome," she said with a smile, "You don't have to thank me. I should be thanking you for showing me something so important to you."

Carlisle gave her a closed-mouth smile and his eyes squinted in such a way that Esme got the feeling that he was a bit choked up. She turned herself completely around so she was on her knees face to face with him. He leaned his head back so it rested against the tree and looked into her eyes.

Esme rested a hand on the side of his face and began to stroke his cheek gently with the outside of her hand. Carlisle took her palm in his own and laid kisses over the backs of her fingers before she ended their few seconds of sensual touching by running her hands through his thick, wavy hair.

"I just, uh..." Carlisle looked at her, then out toward the sky and shook his head, at a loss for the proper set of words he was looking for, "I don't know how I went on for so long without you. I suppose then I didn't know what I was missing, but I know what I have now and I couldn't live a day without this; without you."

Esme smiled, but let it quickly fade at his serious nature. His emotional state rubbed off on her and she felt the same aching feeling in her chest as she had in London when she had the image of him sitting in out in the woods alone for so long.

Carlisle looked at her as if he was reading her mind and even Esme was surprised by how perfectly his words matched her thoughts, "I guess I was so happy that you took the trip with me to Europe that I wasn't capable at that time of feeling what you felt the night you were upset by the fact that I was alone for so long. I think I just started to catch up." He nodded to himself as if things were beginning to make sense in his mind. "You don't know what it meant to me to have you see where I grew up, and to see my father's place of worship. I can't really put that part into words."

"I'd go to the end of the world for you, Carlisle," she told him, "I'd... die for you. Do you know that? I would."

He shook his head, "The first part I'm okay with, but not the second."

"It's true."

"I know," he said with a laugh, that ended abruptly. He sighed and guided her face toward his, and they shared a gently long kiss.

Carlisle wrapped Esme back up in his arms, and the two of them sat together in silence until the sun fully went down behind the trees, leaving a slight glow in the air, and leaves scattering about in the distance and all around them.

"I could stay here all night," Carlisle said, "But I think we should probably get back to Edward and Rosalie and let them know that if it's still in their wishes, we'll make our next destination Tennessee."

She sighed and inhaled as a strong gust of wind blew his scent into her. Esme looked back at him, "Alright." She reluctantly got to her feet and held her hands out to pull him up with her. The two of them linked hands and made their way home.

...

Edward looked at Carlisle, "Something was sent here for you while you were gone."

Carlisle escorted Esme in front of him into the house, then closed the door and looked at him with some confusion, "What is it?"

"A big, wooden cross."

Carlisle continued to stare at him, then switched his gaze to Esme. Rosalie piled in through the back door upon returning from a hunt and quickly caught up on their conversation, though didn't say anything.

Esme smiled, "I figured it was the least I could do for you."

"You got that sent here?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Yeah. I knew you wanted it."

Carlisle's face remained somewhat awestruck, "How?"

"I have my ways, too," Esme told him with a quiet, quick laugh.

"It's just out here," Edward told him.

Carlisle looked at Esme again before following Edward outside from the opposite way he and Esme had just entered. Esme and Rosalie followed just behind the two of them.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"It's a car..." Rosalie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "What does it look like, Edward?"

He ignored her snide comment and watched as Carlisle placed his hand gently on the side of the large wooden frame. His fingers traced along the edges carefully as if the cross was made of eggshells. He had the same awe-struck look on his face from before.

"This was my father's," Carlisle told them, "It belonged to my father."

"Your father?" Rosalie asked.

Edward wanted to make a snotty comment back to her, as she did him, though he could see the highly emotional toll the object was taking on Carlisle. He didn't have it in him to ruin the moment for him and so he remained quiet.

Carlisle looked at Rosalie and nodded with a simple, "Yes."

Rosalie's eyes wandered up and down the wood, "How old is it?"

He thought for a moment, "Three hundred years, give or take..."

Her eyes widened a little, as did Edward's, trying to take in the reality of the statement. Carlisle looked back toward Esme, not removing his hand from the gift she'd given to him.

"I can't believe you did this for me," he told her with a half smile. Like earlier, his smile quickly faded as deeper emotions overtook the happiness he felt.

She shrugged, "I figured one day maybe all of my gifts will add up to the island you gave me. Not likely, but-"

"This is much greater than that," Carlisle told her, "No one could ever give me something that means as much to me as this does. As complicated and, sometimes, painful my human life was, there were times that weren't so bad. I'd like to remember the good things about my father, and for some reason this gives me a sense of comfort and hope that he's up there." He looked toward the sky and subtly raised one of his hands.

Rosalie took a second to really study Carlisle and Esme's unspoken interaction, simultaneously listening to the truth and depth in Carlisle's words. She knew she wasn't always overly warm toward him, but in that moment she saw all the love and respect he had for Esme and felt a pain in her heart that longed to have what they shared. Deep down, she knew that Carlisle was a good man, and despite her occasional dislike for Edward, she knew he was, too.

Carlisle took Esme's face in his hand and gave her a long kiss, giving in to a rare moment of affection in front of Edward or Rosalie. In all of their years together, despite maybe the first month or so of their relationship, the two of them always made it a point to keep their relationship as private as possible.

Rosalie let a smile spread across her face, as did Edward. For the first time since her transformation, she felt as though there could be such a thing as true love.

"Oh, yeah I forgot to run it by you two," Carlisle said to them, parting from Esme. He smiled widely at them and Edward snickered to himself at Carlisle's halfhearted embarrassed thoughts from letting the moment get the best of him, "We're thinking of going with your idea of moving to Tennessee. What do you think?" He slung his arm around Esme, who smiled just as wide and waited for their responses.

Edward and Rosalie looked at each other for a moment before each of them gave their version of a "yes".

"I can't wait to get out of this place," Rosalie said. "I'll never come back to Rochester as long as I live."

"That could be a while," Edward told her.

She sighed, "Tennessee can't come fast enough." Her eyes shifted to Carlisle's, "When are we leaving?"


	35. Emmett

**Sorry for the delay on this story. I take my time a little more when writing this one, and I've been busy in the process of moving. Thanks for following, and for your patience.**

* * *

**Chapter 34**

Tennessee proved to be a great new beginning for their family of four, particularly Rosalie. She and Edward had both been studying and regularly attending classes at one of the local colleges. Edward continued his study of medicine, and Rosalie took a liking to the field, as well. Their competitiveness came out in the form of academics where they regularly competed and compared grades of their test scores and papers.

Carlisle and Esme adjusted quite easily, as they rarely found themselves in a bad mood or saw the negative aspect of a circumstance since finding each other. They were happy to be where the other was, and for this period of time, Tennessee was home. Carlisle worked nights at the hospital and Esme was able to do plenty of work she enjoyed around the house, including gardening, baking for the neighbors and keeping a close eye on Edward and Rosalie. She had even begun to have an ever-growing interest in architecture and made sketches in her spare time of houses she had envisioned.

She loved sharing her dreams with Carlisle, as he always encouraged her to pursue them. It was another part of her fairytale life with him that she sometimes views as quite incredible and unbelievable. He cared about everything that she did and not once did he ever try to steer her in a different direction. Every morning when he returned from work, he would compliment her latest housing sketch, or layout, and more often as they days passed, pushed her to try building one.

Their new home was a country-style house with a big wrap-around porch and plenty of windows. It stood three stories tall, and their family members more or less claimed a level of their own, which naturally became routine over time.

Edward preferred the highest point of the house, as he felt he had his space to study and the darkness of the floor proved to fit his personality quite well. He enjoyed studying in the dim lighting and preferred the slightly slanted ceilings that enclosed him.

Rosalie, more times than not, kept her own space on the second floor. She had a room of her own and plenty of space to work in. Esme suspected that she secretly enjoyed her spats with Edward, and so their back to back rooms kept her entertained.

Carlisle and Esme's room was on the first floor and looked out onto the front porch. Across the hall was Carlisle's office where the kids popped in and out of from time to time. The kitchen and living room on the first floor were more mutual spaces where the four of them would interact as a group on a regular basis.

"I don't know about this one," Esme said, shaking her head as she looked over her latest sketches of a house she had envisioned building. She tapped the writing utensil on the page and Carlisle stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders.

"It's perfectly done," he assured her, "Any time you want to make a real project out of it, I'll help you."

"You mean build it?"

"Yeah," he said, then squatted down next to her to look at the drawing more carefully, "Between the four of us, it wouldn't take very long."

"What about the materials?" she asked him.

He laughed, though said the next statement without even the slightest touch of arrogance, "I have the money. Whatever you want is yours."

"Yeah, the island wasn't enough," Esme joked, "I need more."

Carlisle laughed again and kissed her on the cheek, "All you have to do is say the word."

She turned and kissed him, then gave him a hug. "Thank you for supporting me."

"You're welcome," he said, "Thank you, too." His eyes drifted toward the cross that they had stored against the wall in the office. It meshed perfectly with the dark wood that made up the walls. A sigh left his mouth, "I still can't believe you got that for me, Esme."

"I still can't believe that you want me," Esme said back with a smile.

Carlisle grinned, "I'll want you forever," he said quietly, upon hearing one of the kids moving around upstairs.

"They don't care," Esme whispered back to him with a smile.

"I know," he whispered back.

They shared another kiss before Carlisle stood up, "Let me stop distracting you. I'm going to go in our room to read up on something."

She smiled, "Okay, but you're never distracting me, Carlisle."

He smiled back and winked, then left the room. Upstairs he heard Rosalie yell something up to Edward, with which he returned a sarcastic remark. A second later, they exchanged a few more words before Edward began to laugh and Rosalie exited the house through an upstairs window. Carlisle smiled to himself and shook his head, sensing their teasing was all in good spirits. He started into the bedroom, when he stopped and doubled back into the office where Esme sat. Her eyes lifted to him immediately.

"What is it?" she asked.

Carlisle looked across the room toward the cross on the wall. He pulled up a chair that sat decoratively in the corner of the room and sat across from her at the desk, taking her hand into his as he did.

"Do you ever have any... regrets that I did this to you?" he asked. His thumb traced over the back of her hand nervously.

"That you did this to me?" Esme asked, then smiled as if he was crazy, "You saved me."

"Do you see it that way?"

Her face grew slightly more serious and she nodded, "Carlisle, why would you ever think otherwise? Have I given you some reason to-"

"No," he said before she finished the sentence, "No, you haven't. I just want to make sure, that's all."

Esme took her free hand and rested it along the side of his face, "Believe me when I tell you that this is all a dream come true to me. Every time I see you, it's like the first time all over again. I get butterflies when you tell me you love me, or when you touch my hand." She let her fingers trace over his jaw line and then down toward his chin before she leaned in and gave him a solid kiss without closing her eyes. "I love you."

Carlisle sighed and he squeezed the hand of hers that still lingered in his, "I love you, too."

"If you ever ask me this again, my answer will be the same," she assured him, "So whatever worries you may have, cross me off the list."

Carlisle smiled and nodded, "Okay." He stood up to walk about before Esme called after him once more.

"I think this was my fate, Carlisle; to be with you... here."

"Our fate," he said after a moment's pause. She nodded in agreement as he exited the room.

Esme looked down at her drawings and the thought of the word continued to play in her mind as she dabbled in her work. It wasn't until a half hour later when Edward took the stairs two by two that she snapped out of her imaginative daze.

"School?" she asked him, glancing at the books in his hand.

He nodded, "It's a good thing it's cloudy because I'm later than usual."

Esme smiled, "Where's Rosalie?"

"She left awhile ago. I guess she's ditching."

"She should save those days for when it's too sunny for you to go in, or for a day when you're too late to enter the building before the fully comes up."

"That's what I told her," Edward said, "She just gives me an attitude, though. Maybe you should tell her when she gets back."

Carlisle chuckled in the other room and Esme smiled, as she could tell he was laughing about Edward's comment.

"Well, I'm going," he said.

"Wait," Esme said, "Where'd she go?"

"She said for a hunt and to clear her mind," Edward explained, "Something about it being therapeutic for her, I don't know."

Esme smiled, "Okay, well have a good day."

Edward nodded and said a quick goodbye to Carlisle before leaving the house. Esme's thoughts drifted to Rosalie and she wondered where she had run off to, to clear her mind.

...

Rosalie had run and run until she decided she had gone far enough. She wasn't quite sure where she had ended up, though knew it wouldn't be hard to find her way home. School had been going well overall, though that day she had no desire to thumb through a book, or listen to a monotone voice tell her things she had already read herself, or heard from Carlisle. Her natural instincts had taken over and she wanted to be outside and free. From beneath the trees of Tennessee's beautiful landscape, she felt exactly that; free.

Sunlight streamed through the trees and in the moment, Rosalie felt happy. There wasn't a concrete reason why and nothing in particular had happened, but the scenery and wind blowing all around her was peaceful, not to mention the sensation of the sun. The atmosphere had created an element of serenity that had been hard for her to find since entering her new life.

The woods were quiet, though somewhere in the distance she heard rustling leaves of some animal making its way through the forest. She guessed it was something small, because the smell of the blood was not overwhelming. A few birds chirped and spoke to each other in their own language.

Rosalie sighed and smiled, then concentrated on another sound in the distance. It wasn't overly loud, so she knew it had to be a good mile away.

_A bear?_ she thought, then took in a deep breath. _Yes, it's definitely a bear._

The scent of human blood struck her nostrils next and she felt her eyes go black. She didn't know what it was, perhaps curiosity, but something told her legs to run to confront the situation. Rosalie sucked in deep breaths, catching the fresh scent as she got closer.

_It's air born_, she thought as she rounded a bend and kept going. Her throat began to burn and her chest ached as she came across a gory scene.

A bear towered over a helpless young man. It's claws and teeth were bared and she could see he had been severely wounded. Again, the blood hit her like a wave of lust, though she fought off the urge to join in on the massacre.

Rosalie crouched and tackled the bear, growling viscously before being forced to end it's life as it continued to try to pursue the gravely injured man that laid lifelessly on the ground. Dirt and blood and grass covered his body, and blood poured from his wounds.

Her eyes shifted to his cherubic face. He looked so boyish and innocent and handsome. She couldn't bare the thought that it could be his time. He was too young, and for some reason the innocence of his features made her think of her former friend's son. When the man winced, his dimples were out in full force, adding to the effect he was instantly having on Rosalie.

_Not him_, she thought,_ I need to save him. I can't change him myself; I'll kill him_ Her thoughts were frantic as she knew how long it took her to get to where she was._ I need to get him back to Carlisle._


	36. Time Will Tell

**Chapter 35**

Rosalie's self control was drifting from her body as she saw the outline of the house come into view. Carlisle and Esme were already running out of the house to meet her as she burst onto their property.

"Rosalie," Carlisle said frantically, "What happened?" His first thought was that she had slipped up in the same way Esme had years and years ago in her newborn years.

"I didn't do this," were her first words, "I found him. He was being mauled by a big bear."

The emotion in her voice pulled at the heart strings of both Carlisle and Esme. They could tell immediately that this severely wounded man meant something to Rosalie.

"Can you save him?" she asked, nearly choking from holding back all of her urges to feed.

"Rosalie..." his voice trailed off.

"Carlisle, please," she begged, "I need you to do this. Save him. Do what you did for me... for Esme." Her hand reached out in her direction.

Carlisle shifted his eyes to Esme and knew there wasn't a single regret about his decision, other than the fear of the possible afterlife. He was happy and complete since changing her and for whatever reason, this man seemed to have put a spark in Rosalie's eyes. Her desperation to keep him alive was enough to convince Carlisle to do what he could to save him.

"Please," Rosalie said, this time in a loud whisper.

Esme's hand drifted to her throat and she closed her eyes. "Carlisle," she said, then looked up to him and shook her head.

Carlisle placed his hands on either side of her face and looked her in the eyes, "Go with Rosalie. Go hunt."

Esme's stare burned into him, then looked past him toward the bleeding young man.

"Look at me," he begged her sympathetically, "Esme, look at me. Please." He pressed his lips against hers and Esme temporarily snapped out of her blood-lusting daze.

"Okay," she said, "Okay."

"Carlisle..." Rosalie said again.

"Go with Esme," he instructed, "I'll do whatever I can to save him."

She looked at him with hardened eyes.

"I promise, Rosalie," he said, still letting a hand linger on Esme's face, "Both of you go hunt while I do what I can for him."

Esme grabbed Rosalie's hand, "Come on, Rosalie. Come with me."

Rosalie's eyes stared directly into Carlisle's for another second or two before she darted off with Esme in a completely different direction than she had come. The smell of blood was still all around them, but once deep into the forest, it began to die out.

Carlisle stared down at the man and could hear his heart beating. In the same unexplainable way that Esme had meant something to him initially, he could see this man, for whatever reason, meant something to Rosalie.

He raced inside and carried the injured man into his office. He looked at the cross and said a prayer, requesting an extra ounce of will power before sinking his teeth into the stranger's fragile, human skin.

...

Carlisle stood by his desk, where the young man thrashed a few times and let out a few painful grunts. His body was tense and his fists clenched, though his mind appeared to be outside the realm of consciousness.

An hour had passed before Esme and Rosalie returned, and they both curiously and anxiously made their way into the office. He crossed the room to meet them.

"Are you both alright?" he asked.

They nodded and Esme almost looked ashamed for wanting the human blood so badly. Carlisle put an arm over her shoulders in a comforting manner, and looked at Rosalie.

"We're alright," Esme assured him.

"Where did you find him?" Carlisle asked, looking at Rosalie.

She put a hand over her mouth as she recounted how long she had to restrain herself, "It had to be a couple hundred miles from here."

His eyes widened, "You carried him that far; in this condition?"

She nodded and looked down at his lifeless, yet healing, massive body on the table, "Yes. Is he going to be okay?"

Carlisle still looked overly impressed by her level of restraint, "The venom is taking it's effect. He should awake within a day or two."

Rosalie looked relieved, and she couldn't keep her eyes off the man's face, "He just seemed so... innocent. I felt horrible seeing him in the condition he was in." She met eyes with Carlisle and for the first time, she felt as if she understood his point of view in regards of his decision to change her.

He, too, felt like something clicked at that moment in Rosalie's mind. It was written on her face as she stared at him.

Esme's eyes drifted to the young man on the table. Thoughts of a potential romance for Rosalie crossed her mind, like they had for Edward. She had a feeling inside that there was a reason she had felt so strongly about bringing the man into their world.

_Fate_, she thought to herself. The same fate that brought her and Carlisle together had brought this man to their home that morning. Esme couldn't look away from the thought that her theory was true. Her mind then drifted to Edward, and she suddenly felt bad for him. If, indeed, a relationship brewed between Rosalie and this mystery man, would he feel even more alone and left out?

Carlisle rubbed her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek, then whispered in her ear, "You're such a strong woman to resist the blood the way you did."

She shook her head, but he kissed her on the cheek again. As much as she wanted to disagree and tell him how unsatisfactory she thought her self-control was, the feel of his lips against her skin made it impossible for her to sulk.

They both stared at Rosalie as she walked up to the desk and touched the man's face gently with her hand. Esme looked back up to Carlisle and she knew he was thinking the same thing that she was.

_It looks like we have a new member of the family_, Esme thought to herself. A smile spread across her face as she had a deep, internal feeling that everything would turn out alright.

"I wonder what his name is," Rosalie said, not taking her eyes off the man's angelic face.

Carlisle and Esme continued to look on at her interaction with him. "We'll find out soon," Carlisle assured her, "It's a waiting game until then."

"You said one or two days?"

He nodded, "That was about the time it took for everyone else."

_Two days_, Rosalie thought_, that feels like forever_.

"We're going to have some news for Edward when he returns," Esme said aloud to no one in particular.

Rosalie didn't break her stare from the man, and Carlisle nudged Esme to give her the privacy he felt she deserved. They walked down the hallway and out onto the front porch.

Esme leaned against the railing and Carlisle stood behind her with his arms around her protectively.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, leaning his chest up against her back.

"Lots of things," she admitted, "Maybe this man will be something special to Rosalie."

He felt her sigh and turned his face around to try meeting her eyes, "What else?"

"How do you do it?" Esme asked him, "The blood still bothers me so much in those types of situations. The second it leaves the human body, I have the urge to... attack."

He grinned, "Decades, quite literally, of practice."

"But it's been so long," she shook her head, "By now I should be able to control myself in any situation."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Carlisle told her, "Three decades, or longer even, I was studying at the library one night in Italy. The Volturi nearly killed a man and left him bloody in the street by the doorstep. I had to hold my breath and leave the area so I wouldn't attack him."

Esme turned to face him slightly.

"You're so much farther along than I was at your... age."

"That's not true," she said.

"It's true."

Esme wasn't sure if he was trying to make her feel better or if he was serious, but his tactics worked and she sighed before sinking back against him.

Carlisle kissed the area right next to her ear, "Besides... I lack self-control in other areas." A light laugh left his mouth and Esme grinned, knowing he was teasingly referring to her.

"I almost fought you today," she said, "Honestly, I almost had the urge to go attack that man as he was bleeding to death."

He laughed louder this time at her words, "Fought me, huh?"

Esme was almost horrified by her words, "Yes. I can't believe-"

Carlisle silenced her thoughts with a kiss, "You can fight me any day, and it'll still be one of the best days of my life." He held her close and Esme gave in to a short series of kisses he planted on her lips.

"What's going to happen from here on out?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted, "What's your gut feeling?"

Esme looked into his eyes and saw hope in them, "I think we'll be adding another member to our family."

Carlisle grinned, "I hope so."

They shared a look before taking in the feel of the outdoors. Both of them were equally as eager to see what would happen upon the man's awakening. Questions rolled through each of their minds.

Would he adapt as well as the rest of them had? Would he take to their version of a family? Would he and Rosalie fall for one another? What impact would that potentially have on Edward?

The questions and scenarios were endless, and so they made peace with the fact that only time would tell.


	37. The Way He Looked At Her

**Chapter 36**

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Edward all waited in the small office room where the man continued to lay still. It had been hours for all of them, and days for Rosalie, as they patiently observed the silent transformation that was taking place. When he shifted suddenly and sat up far more abruptly than any of the others, Carlisle almost lunged forward, but stopped when the man stared blankly around the room. His eyebrows were raised and his eyes wide. He looked down at his hands and his body then hopped off the desk. The first glance he made was at Rosalie. He quite literally couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Did I make it?" he asked, slightly huffing out the question.

"Make it?" she asked him.

He touched his own face and looked down at his palms, then looked back at Rosalie. "We were flying. You - you're the angel that brought me here."

Edward snickered in the corner of the room as he spoke the word_ angel_. He could see in the man's thoughts, however, that he absolutely believed the statement he just spoke.

"I'm in heaven." The statement came out in the form of a question. He looked at Carlisle. Edward, again, could read that the man contemplated that Carlisle could be God. "Are you...?" He shook his head in disbelief without finishing the thought.

"We're not who you think we are," Edward said right away, "You're not in heaven. Carlisle isn't... God, and Rosalie certainly isn't an angel."

The man spoke before anyone else could react. "If I'm not in heaven..."

"You're still on earth," Carlisle intervened, "You haven't crossed over into any afterlife."

"But," he shook his head in disbelief and raised his shirt up to check his torso, "I was attacked. I was dying and then," His eyes met Rosalie's, "You flew me away like an angel. You aren't one? You aren't an angel?"

Rosalie was delightfully flattered from his initial impression of her. She wanted to confirm his statements and let him think that she was, though she didn't want their first form of communication to be a lie. "No, I'm not an angel," she said, "Far from it actually."

Edward nodded with a smile silently, but didn't say anything. Esme shot him a glance and shook her head, not wanting to ruin the moment for Rosalie, or have her begin the relationship with this stranger on a bad note.

"What's your name?" Carlisle asked him, stepping forward.

"Emmett," he said.

"I'm Carlisle, this is my wife Esme. Rosalie is the young lady who saved you and that's Edward."

"Hello," Emmett said calmly, yet highly confused. "So was I in a coma or something? Where's my family?"

"You were sort of in a coma," Carlisle told him, "But not the kind of coma that you're envisioning. You were unconscious for a time, but-"

"You're a vampire," Rosalie interjected, "The reason why it felt like you were flying is because I was running with you in my arms. I carried you over a hundred miles and brought you here."

Emmett looked around the room at their serious expression then broke out into laughter, "A vampire?"

"Yes," Rosalie said with a nod, "It's quite hard to believe, I understand, but watch." She motioned for Edward to join her, and he did so reluctantly.

Carlisle and Esme stepped back and let them do whatever they were intending to.

"For experiment's sake," Rosalie said, looking at him, knowing he'd already read her mind.

"Fine," he agreed, "If it'll help the situation."

Rosalie smirked and proceeded to push Edward as hard as she could, sending him through the opened doorway and into Carlisle and Esme's room on his back. Emmett rushed to look through the doorway and stood with his mouth open in awe at both Rosalie's strength and his own earth-defying speed.

"Come here," she urged him, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Rosalie," Carlisle started.

"It's fine, we won't leave the front yard," she assured him.

"Edward," Carlisle called, "Can you go check the area?"

He nodded and left the house immediately.

"Check the area for what?" Emmett asked.

"People," Esme said, "You really are a..."

"Vampire?" Emmett asked with another chuckle.

"Watch," Rosalie said. She looked at him and sprinted around the yard, then found a nearby tree and kicked it in half, sending shards of wood in all directions. The truck caved in and collapsed with a loud cracking sound before slumping to the ground with a thud. "Your turn," she told him, "Go ahead."

Emmett stared at her with almost love-struck eyes at her enhanced abilities. He didn't move for a few seconds, but once he did, he didn't stop. He ran circles around the yard, kicking up dust and leaving a slight trail from the rapid movements of his feet. He let his arm hang to the side and collapsed a series of seven or eight trees before finally taking the time to soak in his actions.

"Whoa," he said almost nonchalantly, "If this happens to be a dream it's the coolest one I've ever had."

"It's not a dream," Rosalie said, "It's real. This is real."

Emmett stared into her eyes and had the urge to put his hand on the side of her face but he didn't. He studied her features and felt mesmerized by the amber-gold mix that made up her eye color. Her skin shimmered slightly in the partially cloudy sky and he couldn't see her as anything but heavenly.

"Your skin," Emmett said, "It's perfect. I've never seen anything like it." He looked toward Carlisle and Esme and noticed that their was the same. "You're husband and wife?"

Carlisle and Esme both nodded before Carlisle gave a simple, "Yes."

Emmett looked back to Rosalie, "Is the other man your husband?"

"Edward?" she asked with a laugh, "God, no. He's more like a brother."

"You all look alike," Emmett said, "Sort of. You have the same eyes and your skin looks like... I don't know, fine China dishes. Not that I've ever owned anything like that."

Carlisle smiled and gave a laugh, "Your skin is like ours now," he told him, "And your eyes will be in time."

"In time?"

"Yes, once your diet becomes consistent."

"I'll fill you in on everything," Rosalie said, "About all that."

"Okay," Emmett said, looking at her, then asked, "How come I'm not..." he moved his hands to his throat, "Is this because I'm not breathing? I'm forcing myself to breath... I think."

"You don't have to breath," Rosalie informed him, "You won't have to ever again. You can even swim underwater for hours, or days if you want."

"Can we try that?" he asked her, slightly amused a little skeptical.

"Yes," she told him with a laugh, "Later. We have to talk about the burning in your throat. It's your thirst for blood."

"Blood?"

Rosalie nodded, "Yes. It'll be that way until you drink something."

"Meaning what? Drink something?"

"If you're thinking we kill people, we don't," she said.

"I didn't think that," Emmett told her, "I didn't think that at all." He looked toward Carlisle and Esme, "What... do... you do?"

"We kill animals for their blood," Carlisle explained, "Others of our kind do eat humans for food."

"The lust for human blood is almost uncontrollable," Esme told him honestly, "You won't be able to be near humans for awhile. I know from experience."

"You'll learn to resist like the rest of us have," Carlisle went on. Rosalie nodded adamantly.

"Coast is clear," Edward said, calling to them from a distance. It took a few seconds for him to reappear from his place in the woods. "No humans around."

Emmett took a deep breath, then sat down and rested his elbows on his half bent knees. "This is too much."

Carlisle and Rosalie looked at each other and Esme walked up beside him. She put a hand on his shoulder gently.

"Emmett," Esme said, "Things are going to be okay. I know things are more than bit overwhelming for you right now and I can't lie, they will be for awhile, but you will adjust. All of us did. We'll be here to help you through everything."

He looked over at her and felt a true warmth from her demeanor. She calmed him down in his brief moment of anxiety. "Okay," he said, "Okay."

Rosalie walked over to Carlisle and whispered to him. "Can I show him how to hunt?"

Emmett was shocked that he heard her extremely quiet message, "Hunt? I can hunt."

"Well," she said with a soft smile, "Our kind hunt a little differently than humans."

He looked at her, finding it odd how they referred to humans as something other than themselves. He still found it unbelievable and almost felt like an outer space alien from the way they disassociated themselves from people.

"So we're not human?" Emmett asked, "Anymore?"

"No," she told him.

"I was being attacked by a bear," he said, seeming to be retracing some of the steps it took him to get to where he was.

"I killed it," Rosalie told him.

"How?" he asked.

"With my bare hands."

Emmett wanted to laugh, unable to picture the beautiful woman before him tackling a massive bear to the ground and ending it's life. It was the seriousness in her tone, and in her eyes, combined with the supernatural circumstances he was faced with that made him believe her. He couldn't even smile. For the first time in his life, he was scared; scared of the unknown and the foreign circumstances that life had presented him with.

"Don't be afraid," Rosalie said, seeing the change in his expression. She held out her hand, "Please, come with me."

Carlisle and Esme, even Edward, watched as the two of them stood a few feet apart in an intense, unspoken moment. Emmett stared at Rosalie, and all of the fear left his eyes.

Esme looked at Carlisle, who in turn, looked back at her. He pulled her against his body and both of them recognized the trusting exchange that was occurring between Rosalie and Emmett. Carlisle kept his arm around her shoulders and took her and with his free hand, rubbing the back of it gently. Esme sighed and watched as Emmett looked down at Rosalie's outstretched arm.

Their eyes locked and she smiled as she felt his whole-hearted trust for her, despite the odd and almost unexplainable circumstances. Emmett looked back around the yard toward the rest of them once he was partially out of trance. It was as if he was checking for approval from the rest of them.

Carlisle nodded and Esme smiled. Edward remained neutral at first, taking in what was happening between them at that instance, before nodding to reassure Emmett. He felt empathy for him in that moment, sensing how anxious and almost petrified his thoughts had become. There was simultaneously a real sense of trust for Rosalie and he felt honored that she offered him her hand.

Rosalie took a few slow steps toward the woods before each of them felt comfortable enough to take off at full speed.

"We should position ourselves around the woods, just in case," Carlisle said, looking at Esme, then Edward.

They both nodded in agreement and Edward was the first to go. He disappeared as quickly as he'd come back just a few minutes before.

Esme looked at Carlisle with hopeful eyes and let a small smile creep across her face. "Did you see the way he looked at her?"

Carlisle smiled back but didn't want to get her hopes up yet in case things didn't pan out the way he knew she wanted them to, "Yes, but-"

"Carlisle, he looked at her the same way I looked at you when I first woke up."

He smiled again and then laughed and kissed her on the forehead, then once on the lips, "We'll see what happens."

Esme couldn't help but kiss him again, "I already know what's going to happen."


	38. Live and Learn

**Chapter 37**

Edward walked in through the front door of the house and gave Emmett a nod. Carlisle sat beside Esme and noticed their exchange, recognizing that Edward had left a gracious abundance of money and food at Emmett's former home.

"Thanks," Emmett said. He looked at Rosalie, who sat beside him and she edged herself a little closer. A sigh left his mouth and he looked around the room.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way," Carlisle told him, "It's just-"

"I know," Emmett said back softly and respectfully, "I understand."

Carlisle nodded and put his arm over Esme's shoulders.

"I know what you're going through," Rosalie told him, looking him directly in the eye, "I'll help you get through it."

A soft small formed on Emmett's face and he looked down toward her hand, placing his gently over hers. Rosalie put her other hand on top of his and rubbed up and down his forearm gently.

Esme glanced up at Carlisle and Edward slowly made his way upstairs toward his room.

"How has hunting been going, Emmett?" Esme asked.

A true smile formed on his face, "It's almost too easy to catch the animals around here. It was a challenge at first but they're not match for me now."

She smiled back and laughed lightly, "Good. I'm glad."

The mention of hunting triggered something in his mind and he reached for his throat.

"Come on," Rosalie urged, "Let's go."

Emmett stood up and smirked at her, "Yes ma'am."

Her back was to him but she grinned and made her way outside with Emmett just behind her. "See ya soon," he said, waving and giving a genuine smile to Carlisle and Esme.

"Bye," Esme said, feeling Emmett's booming personality radiate through her. She turned to Carlisle with a smile as they left. "I like him. He's funny and friendly. He's adapted just fine so far."

Carlisle smiled, "I think your suspicions are correct," he told her.

"About Rosalie?"

He nodded.

"I think so, too," she smiled, "Rosalie has been in a much better mood since Emmett has come along."

Carlisle snickered, "I agree... and I'm very grateful for that, I can't lie."

Esme cuddled herself close to him and kissed him on the cheek, "I think things are going to pan out to be just fine."

...

"I don't know what happened," Emmett said, shaking his head. His remorseful eyes matched the red blood that stained his clothing and hands. He looked to Carlisle sympathetically and in search of help. "I-I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I didn't know I was capable of..." He shook his head and looked down toward him palms, almost licking his lips at the consuming smell of human blood that still lingered all around him.

Esme stood a few feet behind Carlisle with her hand over her mouth and nose. Rosalie looked like she could cry and stood beside Emmett. If her stance matched her thoughts, it was apparent that she would stand beside him no matter what. There wasn't a part of her that was ashamed of his behavior, though she looked deeply saddened by his slip-up.

Edward stayed beside Esme, looking overly uncomfortable, but played it off well that he was alright. Carlisle approached Emmett and put a hand on his tense shoulder, "It's okay," he said with a nod, "We'll figure this out."

Emmett looked him in the eye, and Carlisle could tell he was embarrassed by his lack of self control. "I've messed everything up for all of you, haven't I?"

"No," Carlisle shook his head.

Rosalie quickly piggy-backed on Carlisle's response, "No," she echoed, "You haven't at all."

"But none of you do this," Emmett said.

"We have," Rosalie assured him, "In our earliest months and years."

Edward nodded, "You'll learn to resist one day, Emmett."

Esme nodded, agreeing with her family but didn't have it in her to speak. The smell of the blood was almost too much and she backed away a few more feet. Edward stayed next to her while Carlisle continued to console Emmett.

"Where did this happen?" he asked.

Rosalie put a comforting hand on Emmett's back, and a small smile formed on his face at her touch, though it disappeared as he began to relive the experience.

"Down on one of the dirt roads a few miles from here," he explained, "A woman, she was walking alone minding her own business," he shook his head, "I couldn't stop. One minute I was in the wood and a half a second later I was on top of her. I don't even know how I got from one place to the other. I couldn't resist the smell of the blood. I could hear it pumping in her veins. I... I can't explain it."

"We know how you feel," Carlisle told him, "It's overly tempting and almost impossible to control at times." His eyes shifted to Rosalie, "Where's the body?"

"In the woman's yard," Rosalie said, "What are we going to do?"

He thought for a moment and took a deep breath. The smell of the blood lingered in his nose as he inhaled so deeply, but it didn't effect him much. "Bears are prominent in the area. If they take her in for an autopsy, I'm sure it'll be passed along as that. If she's brought to he morgue at the hospital I work at, I'll rule it off as an animal attack."

Emmett's face was stern and looked to Rosalie apologetically. She took him by the hand and walked him toward the house seeming, at that moment, to be unaltered by the blood that covered his clothing. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"Carlisle, Esme, Edward," Emmett said, "I'm really sorry for what I did."

"I've done it," Edward confessed.

"So have I," Esme told him, speaking for the first time.

Emmett's eyes filled with surprise, though he didn't say anything and walked inside with Rosalie.

Carlisle turned to face Esme and Edward but didn't say anything at first.

"I feel bad for him," Esme said quietly.

He nodded, "It's not easy."

"I think I need to hunt," she said.

Edward nodded, "Me too."

"Will you be alright if I stay?" Carlisle asked, "I want to make sure Emmett is alright, and that he'll be able to control himself for the time being. I don't think humans are nearby, but if one is close enough..." His voice drifted off, "I just don't know his level of self control yet."

Esme walked up and kissed Carlisle on the cheek, "We'll be fine. Let him know it's okay."

"Okay," he said back. He put a hand on the side of her face and kissed her once on the lips. "Be careful."

"We will," she assured him.

"Edward, you too," Carlisle said, "If anyone's nearby and you need to come home for any reason-"

"We'll be alright," he told him with a nod.

He nodded back and looked at Esme again. They stared at each other for an extra second before she left with Edward into the woods to hunt.

Carlisle went back inside and Emmett was almost done washing up. Rosalie had gotten some new clothes for him to change into and left them folded neatly on the edge of her bed.

"Is he okay?" Carlisle asked, meeting her in the hallway on the second floor.

She nodded, "I think so."

He headed into the bathroom and saw the last remnants of blood going down the drain as Emmett decorated his hands with water. "I feel bad for that lady," he said, "I killed her. I just flat out attacked her."

Carlisle looked down, then back up toward him, "It's hard, I know, but things will be okay."

"Have you ever...?" Emmett began to ask.

"No," Carlisle shook his head, "But it's rare for people of our kind not to kill a human... ever. And I hate to say that but that's the reality. Everyone I know, and have ever met has killed at least once."

"But not you?"

He shook his head.

"How did you do it?" Emmett asked, "I didn't even think, I honestly didn't. There was no thinking involved whatsoever. I just attacked on a whim, like an instinct."

"I promise that you will learn," Carlisle told him, "You've only been this way for a couple of weeks. This is the hardest time you'll ever have trying to overcome and harness your thirst."

"It fades?"

"It doesn't really fade," Carlisle said, "But you get stronger over time and you're able to grow and deal with it at first before you can almost block it out completely. Hunting animals isn't nearly as satisfying, I can tell that from my own senses. I can't tell you from personal experience, but the blood of animals will eventually be enough to satisfy the craving."

"This blood was much better," Emmett said, laughing at first then letting it die down, "I've never hurt someone in my life," he said, "Now I've killed someone... and a lady at that."

"It's not your fault, it's not you," Carlisle explained, "It's the animal part of you that is so brand new it's almost impossible to keep contained. I know the feeling. We all do."

"Is Rosalie upset with me?" he whispered.

The two of them looked at the door where Rosalie quickly made herself noticeable, "No," she answered with a smile.

Emmett couldn't help but grin back and melted at the sight of her, "Really?"

"Really," she told him, "Because I understand... and it was an accident."

"What about Esme and Edward?"

"They aren't mad at all," Carlisle told him.

"Esme..." Emmett shook his head, "She's been so nice and helpful and inviting. I let her down."

"No you didn't," he went on, "She doesn't feel at all let down."

"The blood made everyone uncomfortable."

"That's part of being a vampire," Rosalie told him with a joking ring to her voice.

"She's right," Carlisle said, "Unfortunately, that's our reality."

"So... no one's mad at me, then?" Emmett asked again.

"No," Carlisle and Rosalie said at the same time.

He grinned, letting his dimples highlight his handsome, boyish face, "Cool."

Rosalie looked at Carlisle and smile spread over her face. He mirrored her expression and they shared a quick laugh, before Rosalie returned her attention to Emmett. He stared at her, still smiling.

"Let's get some animal blood back into you," she said, "You look much more handsome with golden eyes."

"So you're saying I'm hideous with these red ones?" he asked, looking into the mirror, staring closing at himself.

"No, you look good either way," Rosalie told him, "But you're almost irresistible when they're gold."

He smiled and looked down shyly before making eye contact with her again. Carlisle raised his eyebrows and excused himself from the room.

"I'll go check around for the scent of humans," he told them, "You should be fine to trace Esme and Edward's scents. They wouldn't go near a human, especially on a hunt. If they caught scent of one they'd change course."

Rosalie nodded, "Okay."

He nodded back once and made his way out of the house, leaving the two of them alone.

Rosalie felt drawn to Emmett, and she could tell from the way he looked at her that he felt the connection, too. She wasn't sure if it was the smell of the blood, or her instincts that lead her to him, but Rosalie couldn't control her body as she crossed through the bathroom door toward him.

Emmett returned her stare and never broke eye contact until Rosalie's lips landed solidly on his own. He closed his eyes and felt like his heart was beating again.

Rosalie sighed, embellishing in the taste of the blood and the feel of his perfectly smooth lips against hers. The feeling was one she never experienced before that moment. It was something that didn't exist in her kisses with Royce. The electricity was unmistakable and almost unbelievable as the butterflies she'd been feeling in the pit of her stomach for this man since laying her eyes on him came to the surface in full effect. Rosalie finally felt that spark she had been craving her entire life. She felt love.


	39. Growth

**Hey all, thanks for the patience with this story.. sorry to leave everyone hanging for so long lol.. I kind of had all these ideas in a row that I had to write out with my other story ( the darkened sun).. oh, and i'm not sure if I made it known in my story, but the Rosalie/Emmett kiss was suppose to be a few weeks after his transformation.. sorry for the confusion lol anyway, hope ya enjoy...**

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**Chapter 38**

Emmett had fit in with the rest of the Cullen family in just about every way. He was caring, and funny and liked by everyone. His demeanor was carefree and upbeat, which affected everyone else's outlook on life. The happy-go-lucky way he adapted to being changed into a 'monster' was inspiring to the rest of them, and they admired his need to do his part when it came to responsibilities within their coven. There was one part of Emmett, however, that didn't quite follow suit with the rest of him...

The lust for blood was Emmett's biggest weakness. Upon his initial mishap, he had had trouble rising above his natural instincts. Carlisle had many in depth talks with him, at Emmett's request, as he longed and strived for the ability to do as the rest of them did. While Esme and Edward, in particular, fell victim to their vampiric needs, they were able to quickly overcome the calling that human blood sang to them. Emmett had found the task to be more difficult, and it was primarily that reason why the Cullens were forced to relocate several times over the course of a year.

Carlisle had trouble establishing a permanent job, and Rosalie and Edward managed just a month or two of studying before they were forced to move again. Talks began throughout the towns then inhabited, reminding Carlisle greatly of his past life as a young man in London. He wanted no part of creating, or feeding into, the stories and so when Emmett lost control, they bid adieu to where ever they were.

Despite his lapses, Emmett's control had improved over the course of that first year and by the end of 1935, he asked Rosalie to marry him, sensing it was what she truly wanted. From the way he adored her, he knew there would never be another woman out there for him, and had no hesitations regarding his decision to make her his wife.

Esme helped Rosalie plan the intimate ceremony, that included just their family and the priest performing their exchange of vows. Though Edward often teased Emmett when the two of them were on their own, he was truly happy to see Rosalie finally flashing a genuine smile. Emmett completed her in the same way Esme had completed Carlisle, and their happiness radiated over everyone upon the official completion of their marriage.

While away on their honeymoon up in the mountains of Vancouver, Carlisle, Esme and Edward were instantly reminded of their days when it was just the three of them. Despite how complete things had felt then, they felt the opposite and almost lonely. Though Emmett had only been in their company for a year, it felt odd that they had ever existed without him. His booming personality was lacking in their home, and when the happy couple finally returned after almost a month on their own, things began to feel whole again.

Esme was the first to greet them, sensing their return for miles. She sat outside of the house they all shared, and recently bought, in the Hoquiam, Washington. The first sound she heard was of Rosalie's laughter. It was genuine and happy and deep from in her chest. Emmett was responsible for her turn around and Esme felt extremely grateful for his presence. As they finally came into view with their arms around each other, Esme waved and smiled.

Emmett waved back and whistled, then hurried a few feet ahead of Rosalie to scoop her up off the ground. Esme laughed as he twirled her around, as he did on occasion to both her and Rosalie, then gave him a big hug as he placed her feet back on the ground.

"Miss us?" he asked lightly, letting his dimples light up his expression.

"I missed you two more than you could imagine," Esme said, hugging Rosalie in the process. "I was almost scared that you weren't going to come back."

"Never," Emmett assured her, working his charm. He glanced down at Rosalie, who never let her smile fade from her face.

"He's right," she added, leaning up against him, "We'd never leave."

Carlisle and Edward quickly joined the three of them out in the yard. Carlisle greeted them with comparable enthusiasm as Esme had. Edward more casually gave Emmett a brotherly handshake a smile, while Rosalie and him pretended to glare at each other before finally exchanging a hug.

"Miss me brother?" Emmett asked, pushing Edward's shoulder back a little.

"You... yes," he said, then looked at Rosalie, "Rosalie... hmm..."

Rosalie would have normally shot something back, but shrugged and waved her hand at him, "Well, I missed you Edward." The blissful look on her face could not be mistaken and she clutched Emmett a little tighter.

"How was Vancouver?" Esme asked.

"Great," they both said at the same time, then Rosalie smirked to herself almost shyly.

"Killed some bears up there," Emmett said, "It was great. And we crossed paths with a few hunters. I didn't have the urge to attack them at all."

The thought made Carlisle tense, though he didn't want to kill the accomplished look on Emmett's face. "That's great, Emmett," he said, "You've grown a lot over the last year."

"Thanks," he said with a nod and a smile, "It's all cuz of you guys. I love ya for it."

Esme leaned into Carlisle, "We love you, too, Emmett."

"Aww, thanks Mama bear."

Esme began to laugh and Carlisle smiled wide then pulled her a little tighter against him.

"Well, I'm glad you're back," Edward said, "But _I_ have some schooling to attend to." He raised his eyebrows and grinned at Rosalie.

"Have fun with that," she said in a teasingly snotty tone, before focusing her attention back on Emmett.

"Good to be back," Emmett said, raising his hand for Edward to high-five as he made his way back inside to grab some books before leaving.

"You guys are like brothers," Rosalie said with a smile.

"Pretty much," he agreed, then pulled her to him and kissed her cheek four or five times in a row before wrapping his arms around her. "Are we allowed back inside?"

Carlisle nodded and snickered, realizing they had all remained standing in the yard. He let the two of them by as Esme tugged discreetly on the front of his shirt. Carlisle turned and followed her a few feet away, sensing she wanted to talk to him privately.

"Let's go hunt," she whispered, "Give them some privacy. It looks like they might need it."

A smile formed on his face, sensing their closeness and the little looks they had been giving each other since arriving back home. Thoughts of their own honeymoon ran through his head, and he knew what it felt like to be happily in love and newly married. He nodded to Esme, still smiling as she went to call into them by the doorway. "Rosalie, Carlisle and I are going to hunt. Do you need anything?"

She appeared by the front door immediately with a big smile, "No. I think we're fine."

"Okay," she said with nod.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?"

Esme couldn't help but smile at her question, then laughed as Rosalie did the same, "An hour..." Esme told her.

"Alright," Rosalie said, going on with a nonchalant tone, "Just wondering."

Carlisle slowly made his way toward the woods line with his hands in his pockets, trying not to be invasive on their conversation. He wanted for another minute or two before Esme rejoined him and the front door to their house shut abruptly.

He linked his hand with hers and smiled, then gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "They're happy," he said.

"Very happy," Esme added, then smiled at him again. The life in their new love was contagious and she felt a little extra clingy to Carlisle as they roamed the woods together, neither looking overly alert when it came to hunting animals. They strolled hand in hand taking in the beauty of the northwestern winter.

"I like when Emmett calls me Mom, or Mama bear," she said with a laugh, "It kind of makes me feel like I am kind of their mom."

Carlisle smiled at her happiness, though there was a twinge of guilt he experienced at the same time, knowing there was no way to make her dream a reality.

"I know I've said this with Edward too," she went on, "But they're all I'm ever going to need. Biological or not, they fill that void in a way I can't describe."

He squeezed her hand, "I'm glad. I'm sorry that certain things can't happen..."

She shook her head, "I'm serious. I'm so happy, Carlisle."

Carlisle put his hand beneath her chin and guided her lips back to his, "Good. I love you."

"I love you too."

They shared a smile and Carlisle looked up toward the sky where stars and the moon were beginning to take over. "So, an hour huh?" he asked.

Esme nodded and looked at him.

"What can we possibly do for an hour?"

She recognized the flirty nature of his question and the playful look in his partially squinted eyes that matched his half smile. Esme chuckled and pulled him by the collar of his shirt, "We should really think of something..."

Carlisle leaned in and kissed her, then took her by the hand. He didn't know where they were going, but at that moment, he didn't care.


End file.
